


Aftermath

by TD2



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Memory Loss
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:47:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 48,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24859375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TD2/pseuds/TD2
Summary: Steven's illuminated form began to take the familiar outline of the boy they knew, getting smaller and smaller. And smaller? When it ended, and the light gave way, there was stunned silence.Steven lay curled up on his side as if asleep, looking blessedly human but far too much the child he had been years previously.Alternate ending to 'I Am My Monster.'
Comments: 243
Kudos: 344





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This my first Steven Universe story and I am nervous. Had this idea floating in my head for awhile- honestly was hoping someone had already written one but haven't found it so...here I am. I am not the best writer and it might be hard for me to update frequently. who knows if anyone will even be interested in this? oh boy.

* * *

As Steven began to glow and shrink, everyone moved to accommodate the change; Garnet returning to her usual size as everyone came to rest on the cluster's palm. Steven's illuminated form began to take the familiar outline of the boy they knew, getting smaller and smaller. And smaller? When it ended, and the light gave way, there was stunned silence.

Steven lay curled up on his side as if asleep, looking blessedly human but far too much the child he had been years previously.

Greg was the first to move, instinctively kneeling to check that his son was okay and to shield his exposed body. His hand shook and hesitated before cupping his boy's impossibly young face, his thumb catching the last stray tear as it slid down his pudgy cheek.

Behind him, there was movement as Pearl produced a soft blue blanket from her gem and wordlessly moved forward. Greg met her concerned and troubled gaze as he accepted the garment and wrapped it around Steven's body, pulling the boy onto his lap. It had been ages since he had been able to hold his son like this, not since the growth spurt Steven had gone through just a couple of years ago. Looking at his son's face now, it was as if those years never happened at all.

"What the heck!"

Amythest's exclamation broke the silence, and everyone seemed to come alive at once. What went wrong? Is Steven okay? Why did he look like this? Would he change back?

"Is this not what's supposed to happen?" Asked White, hardly understanding the sudden uproar.

Yellow crossed her arms, brow arched. "This is his original form, correct?"

"It certainly looks like it," Blue tilted her head. "Did he decide to change it back?"

"He's all cute and squishy now!" Spinel cooed, hands smooshed against her own cheeks.

"Of course this isn't what's suppose to happen! " Pearl snapped, voice high. "Humans don't just change their form, they _grow_ , and they don't grow in reverse," she looked towards Greg and Steven again, brow knitting together.

"Or at least...they shouldn't."

"But Steven's done something like this before, right??" Amethyst jumped in, "Back on his fourteenth Birthday when he turned into a baby? Maybe he just stretched himself too far again."

"So, in theory, he should return to normal?" Peridot inquired, hand touching her chin.

Garnet adjusted her visor, lips turning down. "I'm...not sure."

Garnet's confession started another round of raised voices. To Greg, it was an indistinguishable murmur of concern and confusion and generally floundering all around. He had barely been listening anyway, too focused on Stevens's resting face. Despite the chaotic noises around him, the boy had not so much as stirred, face blank, and untroubled.

A hand on his shoulder caused him to turn as Connie crouched down beside him, her eyes also focused on the bundle in his arms. He realized that Connie had been the only one not joining in on the other's discussions.

"He's okay, right?" she asked, voice soft, eyes flickering toward him and then back to Steven.

Greg could not put into words how grateful he was that Steven had someone like her in his life. She had been the voice of reason through all this, despite any recent hardships between her and Steven.

"He's breathing alright and..well... human again." He offered a tired smile, "I think he's just sleeping."

Some of the tension left her shoulders, her eyes softened.

"I guess I shouldn't be surprised," one corner of her mouth quirked up, "He always could sleep through anything."

Greg chuckled, the weight in his chest easing as he looked back at the rest of the group.

"Hey, guys."

All eyes turned to him as he stood, legs popping from old age, Steven held against him.

"I think it's time we get our boy home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first picture was done by Jankbones on Tumblr (thanks you!)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seem to have gotten quite a few Kudos so that must mean at least some of you are interested in seeing where this goes.

* * *

The front of the house was destroyed. Splintered wood and broken glass scattered everywhere. A terrible, physical reminder of what had taken place.

Bismuth was quick to volunteer her services, assuring them she would have the place good as new in no time.

The Diamonds and Spinel had left for homeworld, but only after making it clear that they expected to be kept up to date with Steven's recovery.

Peridot and Lapis looked ready to follow Greg and Steven up the stairs when Bismuth pointed out that someone needed to let the townsfolk know that it was safe to return.

Peridot threw her arms up in the air.

"Who cares! They can come back whenever they feel like it."

"It's not like anything is stopping them." Lapis sulked.

"Come on, you two, it's been a long day, and I'm sure these guys wanna settle in," Bismuth placed a hand on each of their shoulders, expression kind. "We don't want Steven to feel overwhelmed when he wakes up, right?"

That did the trick.

Lapis sighed, "Fine."

"I expect to be kept informed of his progress." Peridot declared.

"You and me both, Tiny." Bismuth grinned, "I'm sure Pearl will let us know when Steven is ready for visitors. Right, Pearl?"

Pearl had been standing at the bottom of the stairs, gazing up to where Greg had taken Steven. At the sound of her name, she jerked to attention.

"Oh! uh..yes, of course." her expression softened. "Thank you, Bismuth."

"No problem."

She ushered the other two gems toward the warp pad.

"Mom, I swear, I'm fine,"

Connie was pacing the living room, phone held against her face.

"No, ma'am I..- Steven? He's, um, fine too, I think. He hasn't woken up, but he doesn't look hurt. I think he's just resting....Oh...that might not be a bad idea, hold on."

She placed a hand over the speaker looking up at Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl, who all stood anxiously near the bottom of the stairs.

"Is it okay if my mom comes by and looks at Steven?"

Garnet placed a single finger against her visor.

"I see no reason why not."

Upstairs, Greg had laid Steven on the bed, running a hand through the boy's soft curls affectionately before going to search through the closet. Luckily his son was a bit of a hoarder himself, and a box of old clothes was still stored inside. Greg dressed Steven as quickly as he could in a pair of old pajamas, trying to push down the nagging feeling in his gut over how unresponsive the boy was.

' _He's fine. He's perfectly fine.'_ Greg told himself, running a hand over his own head. ' _Kids been through so much, he deserves a nice long rest_.'

Even so, Greg had no intention of leaving the boy's side, settling himself on the edge of the bed once he'd finished, hands clenched over his knees. He turned to call down to the others that Steven was dressed, but he could hear them already making their way up the stairs, Garnet leading them.

' _Right, future vision_.'

The worry on their faces made his insides twist, but he forced a smile.

"Good thing he kept all his old clothes," he tried for optimism but was sure he failed.

Pear made a distressed sound in her throat as she came forward.

"He looks so small." she fretted, hands twisting together.

"Yeah, no kidding." Amethyst frowned, "First he turns into a giant monster, and now he's like...12 or something."

Connie stood farther back; her expression pinched as she looked toward Garnet.

"You're sure this isn't like the time on his birthday?" 

Garnet gazed forward, eyes hidden from sight.

"It took a night for him to recover that time," she responded, "But in every scenario that I can see of the future....he's like this."

"So what?" Amethyst's voice raised, sounding angry and helpless. "He's stuck as a little kid forever now?"

"Not necessarily," Garnet said, "This was an impossible scenario to predict, and the future is always changing. The farthest I can see at the moment only spans for the next month or so. Too many unknowns."

"It doesn't matter."

Greg knew they were all staring at him now, but he'd already turned his focus back toward Steven.

"The important thing is that Steven is here, and he's safe, and he's human." he took one of Stevens's hands, squeezing gently, "And when he wakes up, he's gonna need us." He looked up then. "All of us."

Nods all around, expressions turning from worry to resolve.

"It didn't matter what he looked like then, and it doesn't matter now," Connie agreed. "Steven is Steven."

"Of course." Pearl declared, shoulders squared. "No matter what, we'll be here for him."

"This does complicate things a bit," Garnet admitted. "But the fact remains that Greg is right; we need to put Steven's wellbeing first. He'll likely be distressed over the change, and it won't help matters if we are as well."

Amethyst's gaze was on the sleeping boy, "Little man's dealing with enough stuff already." 

Greg felt relief rush through him, glad they were all on the same page.

"Connie...?" a voice called distantly from downstairs.

"OH-uh- we're up here, mom!" Connie yelled back before turning her gaze towards Greg.

"I asked mom if she could look at Steven," she explained. "I hope that's alright."

Greg had to hand it to Dr. Maheswaran; the woman barely batted an eye at Stevens's visible change in appearance. She laid a medical bag on the end of the bed before pulling Connie into a quick hug and then addressing the rest of the room.

"Alright, then, I'm going to need everyone to clear out so I can examine my patient."

"Aww, man, we just got up here," Amethyst complained.

"Perhaps we could stand in the corner," Pearl proposed, anxious about leaving Steven. "We'll be super quiet, and you won't even know we're-"

"You heard the lady." Garnet placed a hand on each of the other gem's shoulders and turned them toward the door. "We clear out and let her do her job."

Connie gave her mom an appreciative smile before trailing after them.

"Uh...am I staying?"

"That would probably be a good idea, Mr.Universe," Dr.Maheswaran answered. "I have questions, after all."

She opened her bag, bringing a few instruments out.

"So, he hasn't been conscious since his...change?" she asked, taking Steven's wrist. "Hm. pulse is steady."

"No," Greg bit his cheek as he watched Dr. Maheswaren put a blood pressure cuff around Steven's arm. "He hasn't even moved."

"Blood pressure significantly better than the last time I checked."

She brought out a small flashlight, lifting one of Steven's eyelids and shining the light into his eyes.

"Pupils are responding to light."

"That's good, right?" Greg questioned.

"Well, he's not in a coma." the doctor returned, "Just deeply unconscious. There's not much I can do without having him awake to speak to."

she reached into her bag, "Luckily, I keep smelling salts in here."

"You're going to wake him up?" Greg asked, eyes wide. "Isn't it better to let him rest?"

"I won't be able to give a proper assessment without speaking to him directly." She paused to look up at Mr. Universe, expression suddenly stern.

"I hope you've considered what we talked about since the hospital."

Greg winced, recalling the talk the two had afterward.

"Uh...yeah." he rubbed the back of his head. "It would probably be a good idea to...to get in touch with a therapist for Steven, especially...well...with everything else that's happened since."

Her face relaxed just slightly, "I'd be more than happy to recommend someone."

"Thanks." he glanced down at Steven's face and then back up, "He's probably gonna be pretty freaked out when he wakes up."

"Another reason I asked everyone to leave," she admitted. "There's no sense in making this harder for Steven. Also, this isn't going to be a pleasant awakening. Could you lift him up, please."

"Oh, right," he slid a hand behind Steven's back and lifted him into a sitting position, scooting closer to offer more support.

Steven's head lolled forward, and Dr.Maheswaren placed the smelling salts under his nose.

The reaction was immediate; Steven's eyes flew open with a gasp, head jerking back to put distance between him and the foul smell.

"Whoa, easy there, schtu-ball!" Greg scrambled to stop Steven from pushing himself off the bed. "You're okay!"

Startled brown eyes turned up to meet him.

"Dad! What's going -" He stopped abruptly, face draining of color.

Greg wondered if Steven remembered today's events, or if he was reacting to the sudden high- noticeable young- quality of his voice. Whatever the reason, Greg was determined to try and set his son at ease.

"Everything's going to be alright Steven- nobody's hurt, and you're-"

"DAD, YOUR HAIR IS GONE!"

"Wait-what??"

Completely taken back by his son's exclamation, he reached back without thinking to feel the end of his short hair.

"Steven, my hair's been like this for months."

Steven's baffled expression did nothing to dispel the growing unease in Greg's gut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's right folks! Steven isn't just physically regressed, he's mentally regressed too! Please leave a review if you liked what you read. I appreciate the feedback and it helps motivate me.


	3. Chapter 3

The realization that his son's regression went beyond the physical was growing more and more apparent.

"Where are we?" Steven asked, eyebrows drawn together as he scanned the room. "It kinda looks like-Oh!"

Steven's posture perked up as he spotted Dr.Maheswaran, who had taken a few steps back from the bed to observe what was happening.

"Hello!" He gave a small wave, brows lifting and a smile tugging the corners of his mouth up. "I'm Steven. Who are you?"

Greg's voice suddenly found it's way back, betraying him with its panic.

"You don't recognize her?!"

Steven winced at his dad's shout, glancing between the two adults in growing trepidation.

"Um, not really." The boy confessed, his voice much more reserved than before. "I'm sorry."

Steven hugged himself around the middle, looking even smaller than he already was, and Greg inwardly kicked himself.

"Oh gee, you don't have to apologize, Steven." He hurried to reassure him, feeling like the biggest idiot in the world for upsetting the boy. "None of this is your fault, kiddo. I..I was just-"

"I think we're all a little confused right now." Dr. Maheswaren intervened, stepping back toward the bed and crouching down to be at Steven's level.

"It's very nice to meet you, Steven." She stated, smiling politely as the boy gave her another curious look. "My name's Priyanka. Priyanka Maheswaran."

"Mahesw-Oh!" His back straightened, eyes lighting up in recognition.

"You're Connie's mom!" Steven grinned.

Greg blinked, still trying to understand the situation.

"You remember Connie?" He asked.

"Yeah, we met on the beach!" Steven beamed, his voice loud with excitement, "I saved her from being crushed by rocks! Then we were trapped in a bubble, and then we were underwater, and then a monster attacked us! It was amazing!"

"What?!" for the first time, Dr.maheswaran's calm mask slipped.

"It's totally fine, though!" Steven hastened to add, seeming to realize his mistake. "We didn't get eaten or crushed or anything!"

Dr.Maheswaran let out a tense sigh as she pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Okay...shelving that for a later discussion," she muttered to herself before bringing her attention back to the boy on the bed.

"You've met Connie, but you haven't met me. Is that correct?"

"Um, yes, Ma'am."

He looked confused again.

"Did Connie happen to mention to you that I'm a doctor?"

Steven nodded.

"Well...that's why I'm here. As a doctor."

"Is someone hurt?" Steven looked at his dad, "Are you gonna do surgery to put my dad's hair back?"

Greg found himself chuckling then.

"Afraid that ship has sailed, kiddo." He placed a supportive hand on his son's shoulder. "She's actually here to see you."

"Me?"

"Yeah." Greg hesitated, worried he'd reveal too much and upset Steven. "Ya see, there was a ...um...incident earlier and..uh..,"

"You've been unconscious since," Dr.Maheswaran said, saving the man from his floundering once again. "Connie asked me to come check on you."

Greg felt Steven tense under his hand, his son's head tilting to look up at the doctor in concern.

"Connie was there? Is she okay?" Steven's voice was high, his hands found the covers and twisted. "Did anyone else get hurt? Are the gems here? what happened?!"

"Easy there, kiddo; everyone is fine, I promise." He squeezed Steven's shoulder, trying to comfort the boy. "The gems and Connie are downstairs. Everything is okay."

"But it's not okay!" Steven suddenly cried, looking up at his dad in mounting panic, "I don't even remember what happened! I don't remember you getting your haircut! I don't even know where we are!"

Tears were gathering in his son's eyes, his breathing hitched, and Greg did the only thing he could; He pulled the boy into his lap and wrapped his arms around him in a tight hug.

Steven didn't hesitate to return the gesture, his arms -so much smaller now- attempting to wrap around the larger man as he buried his face into his dad's shirt and tried not to cry.

"I know this is confusing, kiddo, but I promise it's going to be okay." Greg leaned down to speak quietly into the soft curls atop his son's head. "Just breathe. We're going to figure this out together."

Steven nodded into his dad's shirt, sniffling, "O-okay."

He might not understand what was happening, but at least this was familiar. His dad was here. Sure he looked a little different, but his hug was still warm, and his words still managed to calm his nerves.

After a few quiet moments of sniffling, Steven pulled back, reaching up to wipe the tears off his cheeks in embarrassment.

"Sorry," He gestured to the wet patches on his dad's shirt apologetically. "I got you all gross."

Greg chuckled.

"What? This? this is nothing." He tousled the boy's hair, worried that the gesture would be unwelcome, but Steven seemed to enjoy it. "Besides, you're my kid; you're allowed to get all gross with me."

The boy chuckled.

"Thanks, dad."

"You're welcome. Now, first things first," Greg said, sounding more confident than he felt as he threw his arms up to gesture around him. "This here is your room, kiddo."

Steven's eyes went wide.

"Really?!"

He turned his head this way and that, trying to take in everything.

"It has walls!"

Greg laughed; of all the things for his son to get excited over.

"Oh yeah, it's deluxe," he responded. "The Gems fixed it up real nice for ya."

Steven's smile dimmed slightly.

"But...how come I don't remember?" He asked, looking back at Dr.Maheswaran, who had been respectfully quiet throughout the latest exchange.

"Did I hit my head and get amnesia? Like in the movies?"

"I think this particular outcome is related more to trauma," The doctor replied, "Although your appearance is definitely a result of your gem."

Steven's eyebrows lifted.

"You know about my gem? Wait-" He looked down at himself, "My appearance?"

"You're a bit...smaller than we're used to, schtu-ball." Greg offered.

"Which brings me to my next question," Dr.Maheswaran said, "How old are you, Steven?"

Steven grinned, relaxing again.

"That's an easy one," He replied. "I'm 12."

Greg managed not to flinch.

Twelve? That was nearly five years gone. His boy was....really just a boy again.

The silence that followed had Steven looking worried again.

"Is...that not right?" He asked, tilting his head up to look at his dad. "Did I forget my Birthday too?"

Greg smiled nervously, bringing a hand up to rub the back of his neck.

"Heh, I think you're missing quite a few birthdays schtu-ball."

Steven's eyes widened as he leaned forward.

"Really? How old am I?"

Greg exchanged a quick look with Dr.Mahesaran, who gave a small nod, seeing no reason to keep the information a secret.

"You're 16, kiddo," he replied. "Almost 17."

Steven gasped. "WOAH! That's super old!" he looked excited instead of upset at the news. "That means I'm almost an adult! But-" He stared down at himself again, frowning, "I don't look any different."

"I'm not sure exactly how it happened myself," Greg admitted, "But you were definitely taller and older looking before uh...before all this."

"So, I shapeshifted?" Steven asked, making a face as though the idea were distasteful. "I don't feel like I'm shapeshifting."

"I'm not exactly an expert when it comes to magic stuff," Greg confessed, feeling ashamed. "The Gems could probably explain it better."

"But before we get into that," Dr. Maheswaran interjected, "I'd like to ask how you're feeling right now, Steven. Physically, that is."

Steven's reply was instant.

"I'm fine."

Greg frowned; how many times had he heard his son say those words when he had clearly been struggling. He noticed Priyanka was giving him a skeptical look as well.

"I need you to be completely honest with me, Steven." She told him. "Even if it doesn't seem important. As a doctor, your doctor, I need to be informed.

"Oh," Steven frowned in thought. "Um, I guess I'm a little sore."

"Sore, how exactly?"

Steven shrugged.

"I dunno; Kinda like I stretched too much or something?" He tried to explain. "Oh, and a little tired too, but not a lot."

Despite how vague Steven's answers were, Dr. Maheswaren nodded encouragingly.

"No headache? Or dizziness? Nausea?"

Steven shook his head no to all three, before blurting out a question of his own.

"Will I get my memories back?"

Priyanka's face was an unreadable mask as she considered the young boy in front of her. He looked anxious again, as did his father. It was always difficult when a patient asked a question like that, the equivalent of 'Will I get better?'.

"I can't say for certain." She answered delicately. "Even with all my medical knowledge, with something as tricky as memory loss...it's difficult to predict."

She watched as the boy's shoulders slumped, eyes shiny with tears that she could tell he was trying valiantly to suppress.

"That doesn't mean your memories won't come back, Steven." She tried to explain, bringing a hand up to rest on the boy's shoulder. "I don't want you to worry about this, okay? Some memories will likely surface on their own if you don't push yourself."

Steven nodded, seeming to take what she was telling him to heart.

"That goes for you and the others as well, Mr. Universe."

Greg straightened, "What now?"

Dr.Maheswaran pulled her hand off Steven's shoulder to address the other adult more fully.

"It's important that the rest of you allow Steven to remember as much as he can on his own." She said. "That's not to say that you can't tell him some things. After all, I'd imagine it would be very confusing to Steven if you didn't, but try not to overwhelm him."

"Of course," Greg's expression was suddenly serious. "We'll be careful."

He looked down when he felt Steven tug at his sleeve.

"Can I see the Gems now?" He asked, "And Connie?"

Greg blinked, caught off guard. "Oh..uh.."

"Pleeease, dad?" Steven pouted, clasping his hand together. "I miss them, and I wanna see how different they look! Pretty please?"

"Oh, gee, not the puppy dog eyes." Greg groaned, looking over at Dr. Maheswaran. "Do you think it would be okay if they came up?"

"I think I should go and explain the situation to them first." The doctor replied, gathering her things back in her bag. "But, I'll send them up when I'm done."

"YES!"

Steven's previous gloom over his lost memories vanished.

"Thanks, Dr.Maheswaran!" He grinned up at the woman. "It was really nice to meet you- even if we already met before, but I forget."

For the first time since her arrival, Dr.Maheswaran chuckled.

"It was very nice to meet you again too, Steven."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! I can't believe I got this chapter done so quickly! Also a big welcome back to season 1 Steven, everybody! The next chapter might be awhile, since I'm debating on actually including Dr.Maheswarens talk with the gems and connie- or just let it be implied. hmm. But please let me know what you think!! I love getting your comments!


	4. Chapter 4

* * *

* * *

"What do you mean, 'he thinks he's twelve'?!"

Priyanka winced at Pearl's shrill voice.

'Well, that went well.' She thought.

"Dude, that was forever ago!" Amethyst had both hands tangled in her hair. "What are we supposed to do now??"

Garnet was silent, hands clenched at her sides but otherwise lost in thought.

The only one who didn't seem affected by the news was Lion, who remained stretched out on the floor asleep.

"You said twelve?"

Connie's voice had Priyanka turning; Her daughter sounded timid in a way she hadn't heard in many years.

"That's almost five years, right?" Connie's eyes flickered back and forth, calculating. Her hands clutched the front of her shirt anxiously.

All at once, Priyanka realized why she looked so upset.

"Oh Connie, no," She crouched down to place her hands on her daughter's shoulders, voice soothing. "He remembers you, sweetie. He does."

"You're sure?" Connie asked, voice small. "If he's twelve than-"

"He remembers you," Priyanka repeated, looking her daughter in the eyes. "One of the first things he mentioned was meeting you on the beach."

That seemed to do the trick. The tension melted off Connie, and tears sprang in her eyes as she moved forward to hug her mom. Priyanka returned the embrace.

"Which reminds me," She said in a mock stern voice. "We will be talking about this beach meeting later, young lady. I think you left out a few details the first time."

Connie pulled away with a wet sounding chuckle.

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Um, Doc?" Amethyst shuffled her feet, "What exactly do we do now?"

Pearl stepped forward, hands clasped in front of her. "Yes, there must be some way to fix this."

Priyanka sighed, feeling the weight behind everyone's stares.

"This isn't something that can just be fixed." She answered. "His memories may return, but I can't predict when or how fast."

"But why does he look like a little kid?!" Amethyst demanded, confused.

"Steven's physical form has always been tied to how he thinks and feels." Garnet spoke up, "If he thinks he's twelve, he'll look twelve."

Connie sent a hopeful look at the fusion.

"So if he does get all his memories back..."

"It stands to reason his physical appearance will return to normal." Garnet finished.

"Yeah, but like," Ameythesty huffed, "What are we suppose to do till then?"

Garnet's reply was simple.

"We make sure we're there for Steven."

"Exactly, this doesn't change anything." Connie's voice was steady, chin held high. "Steven still needs us. Maybe even more now."

"There's so much that's happened...." Pearl looked lost in thought, "How do we explain-"

"You don't."

Everyone looked up at Dr. Maheswaran as she spoke.

"Like I told Mr. Universe, it's important to allow Steven to remember things independently. You will have to explain some things to him, but try not to overwhelm him. Especially if the event was traumatic."

Amethyst groaned.

"Oh man, this is gonna be tricky."

\----------------------------------------

Once Dr.maheswaran left, Steven wasted no time moving to slide off the bed, much to Greg's confusion. When his feet touched the floor, Steven found his legs were weak and unsteady, knees buckling before he could take his first step.

Greg's hand shot out to steady him before he fell over.

"Easy there, schtu-ball!" His dad's voice was high, his brow wrinkled, "Where you trying to run off to anyway?"

Steven gave a rueful grin in return.

"I wanted to look around my future room," he confessed, shrugging one shoulder. "But I guess my legs are sleepy."

Greg forced a smile.

"How about we leave the tour for tomorrow and let those legs rest?" He suggested. "You don't wanna tire yourself out before the gems come up."

Steven pursed his lips, he really wanted to explore, but maybe his dad was right.

"Hmm..." He looked down, "What do you think, legs?"

He missed the startled look on his dad's face as he waited for a reply, nodding sagely.

"Ah, I see." He looked back up, grinning. "They think you make an excellent point, sir."

Greg recovered quickly.

"Ah well, thank you, Steven's legs," He managed to reply without missing a beat, placing a hand on his chest. "You honor me with your words."

Steven's easy laugh rewarded his efforts, and Greg couldn't help but join in as he helped his son back onto the bed.

_**'What do you mean, he thinks he's twelve?!'** _

The distant yell from downstairs shattered the lighthearted mood, and Greg's heart sank as he watched the smile vanish from his son's face.

"Hoh boy," Greg chuckled nervously, "Guess we should have put up a door too."

"Was that Pearl?" Steven asked.

"Uh, yeah." Greg tried to sound lighthearted, "Guess Dr. Maheswaran told them the news."

Steven fiddled with the end of his pajama top, looking anxious.

"She sounded upset."

Greg frowned.

"She's just worried, kiddo."

Steven didn't reply, gaze fixated on the open door.

"Hey, I know just the thing to pass the time," Greg put as much cheer into his voice as possible as he hopped up from the bed, "I'm sure there's- ah-ha!" He found one of the old guitars he'd given steven, against the far wall.

Steven was looking at him again, eager for the distraction.

"How about I play you a song, stchu-ball?" Greg picked up the guitar, strumming it once and making sure it was tuned. "Any requests?"

The boy's eyes lit up.

"Oh! Play me a future song!"

Greg laughed.

"Alright, then." He settled on the edge of the bed. "Let's see...Hears one you might not remember-oh! Uh..that is-"

Steven laughed, finding the slip up amusing, and Greg grinned sheepishly back.

"Okay, here it goes."

Steven shuffled closer to his dad's side as he started playing a soothing tune. Greg offered him a playful wink as he began to sing, keeping his voice low and even.

"I could never be,

I could never be,

I could never be ready for this~"

He looked down at the admiration in his son's eyes and tried not to think about how undeserving he was of it.

"Things start

and things end,

and isn't it lovely in theory, but~"

Steven blinked tiredly at the calming melody.

"I could never be,"

The boy rubbed one of his eyes with a loose fist.

"I could never be,"

Yawn.

"I could never be ready,"

Greg continued to play the tune, watching in fascination as his son's eyes began drooping. He considered stopping since the gems could be up any moment, but...gosh darn it, the kid just looked so cute.

"I could never be...."

Steven's head bobbed tiredly.

"I could never be.."

The next blink proved to be too much, and Steven slumped over onto Greg's side, fast asleep.

"I could never be... ready." Greg finished softly, eyes wide in amazement.

He quietly set the guitar against the bed and moved Steven to lay back against the pillows, tucking the covers around him. He'd forgotten how easy it had been to get Steven to sleep when he was...a kid.

Greg sighed, running a hand through his son's curls again as he watched Steven sleep; face so young and untroubled by the events of the past few years.

"I'm so sorry, kiddo."

Tears burned in his eyes as he thought about how much he'd failed to be there for his son. The part he'd played in what had eventually led to Steven's breakdown and..and then this.

He rubbed at his eyes when he heard footsteps coming up the stairs, turning to see Pearl as she stepped into the room, the others huddled close behind.

She looked from Steven to Greg and offered a small smile.

"Garnet said he might be asleep."

She kept her voice soft as she neared the bed, looking fondly down at Steven's slumbering form.

"He's had a big day," Garnet said, her and Ameythst coming to the side of the bed as well. "He deserves a nice long rest."

"Yeah, no kidding," Ameythest remarked. "Kid's really been through it all."

Greg noticed Connie lingering near the door, eyes on Steven.

"You okay there, Kiddo?" He asked, and the girl blinked.

"I'm fine," Connie answered, offering a small smile. "Mom's waiting on me downstairs, I just-" she sighed, eyes flickering back toward his son. "I don't feel right about leaving him."

Greg stood up, moving forward to place a hand on the girl's shoulder.

"I think you've done more than enough today, Connie." He hoped he could convey how appreciative he was, "You deserve to get some rest too. Let the rest of us pick up the slack."

Before she could reply, Greg enveloped her in a grateful hug.

"Thanks for being there for my son."

Connie returned the hug. "Always."

When she pulled back, her eyes looked damp, but she was smiling.

"I'll come by tomorrow," She looked back at the bed. "Tell Steven I...I can't wait to see him."

Greg grinned. "Will do."

She said her goodbyes to Mr.Universe and the gems, reluctantly leaving the room after one last look at her best friend.

"So," Greg looked up, "Guess Dr.Maheswaran filled you guys in."

Pearl took a seat on the edge of the bed, with Garnet standing close beside her and Amethyst sitting crosslegged at Steven's feet.

"He really thinks he's twelve?" Amethyst asks, still finding it hard to believe.

"Yeah, he really does," Greg confirmed. "He freaked out when he saw my hair."

That caused Ameythst to snort, and Pearl and Garnet grinned slightly.

"I take it you're spending the night," Garnet said.

Greg opened and closed his mouth before settling on a firm nod.

"Good," Garnet responded, surprising him. "He'll need all of us here with him tomorrow."

"Oh! I'll fix him a nice big breakfast in the morning!" Pearl sounded happy to have thought of something to do, "Eggs, toast, bacon, orange juice-OH! maybe some pancakes!"

"Uh...do we even have all that stuff?" Amethyst asked, doubtful.

"Oh stars," Pearl's eyes widened as she stood up, "I'll need to go to the store immediately!"

"And someone will need to inform the others of what's happened." Garnet reminded them.

Amethyst groaned.

"Ugh, I am not talking to the Diamonds."

"They can wait." Garnet said, "But Bismuth, Peridot, and Lapis will need to be informed. Especially if Bismuth is going to be returning to fix the house."

"That's right, I completely forgot about that." Pearl was fretting now, "Steven won't even know who she is. We might need to hold off on the repairs."

"Uh, is there anything I can do to help?" Greg asked, glancing between them.

"Dude, no offense," Amethyst said, "But you look like you're about to kill over."

Greg chuckled weakly.

"Can't say I don't feel like it either." He admitted.

"You being here is helping plenty," Garnet replied. "You can share the bed with Steven. It will be good for him to wake up to a familiar face."

"That's a good idea." Pearl nodded, looking encouraged. "In the meantime, we'll take care of everything else."

Despite a plan being loosely established, Greg could tell how reluctant they all were to leave.

Amethyst's hand was resting on Steven's ankle through the cover, and she gave it a small squeeze. "See ya at breakfast, Ste-man."

Garnet moved to the side of the bed to reach down and tenderly cup Steven's round face.

"You're going to have a wonderful dream, and I can't wait to hear about it."

When she moved back, Pearl took her place. "We love you, Steven." She declared, leaning over to kiss the boy's forehead. "Sleep well."

They exchanged their goodnights with Greg as well before hesitantly leaving the room.

Greg rubbed a hand over his face and groaned tiredly, today had felt like one of the longest days of his life; and he'd once been kidnapped by an alien dictator, taken into space, and locked in a human zoo.

He tiredly made his way to the bed to sit down, slipping off his shoes, and falling back on his side, face against a pillow. The bed bounced slightly with his added weight, and Steven stirred, stretching his arms above his head and kicking lazily until the covers were down to just his feet.

Luckily he settled back down with a content sigh, but the new position had caused his shirt to rise up, revealing the pink gemstone underneath.

_**'You're a gem! You're not like other kids!"** _

Greg flinched at the memory, trying to dispel the guilt it caused in his heart. He should never have made Steven feel like he was 'more than' or 'less than' human; to make him believe he wasn't entitled to a normal upbringing. In all the ways that mattered, Steven was more 'human' than anyone Greg knew; and it only took seeing his son turn into a monster to realize that.

'Way to go, Universe.'

He brought his focus back to the sleeping child beside him, reaching over to place a hand on the boy's chest to feel the gentle rise and fall as he breathed. He used to do this all the time when Steven was a baby, constantly worried that he'd stop breathing if he wasn't watching closely enough. A normal fear with a first child, Vidalia had told him, but it had led to many sleepless nights for him.

'He's here. He's safe. he's human.' He repeated his words from earlier like a prayer, closing his eyes and sinking into the softness of the mattress.

He listened to the faint sounds of Steven breathing until he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thoughts?


	5. Together Breakfast 2.0

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Young Steven is so much fun to write. I Watched some of the earlier episodes recently to help me get into his character more. He was such a goof.

It was fortunate gems didn't require sleep, or they would never have accomplished all they had in a single night.

All three had warped to Little Homeworld to speak to the others about Steven's predicament, deciding not to place the unpleasant responsibility on a single person. The initial response was understandably shock, but the gloom that descended upon the trio was far more prominent. It wasn't until Lapis spoke up with a sullen 'He won't remember us, will he.' that they realized the reason.

Steven had known Amethyst, Garnet, and Pearl his entire life, so even though he had lost several years of memories, he would still recognize them. That was not the case for the others, who would be seen by Steven as perfect strangers. With this in mind, Pearl and Garnet regretfully explained that they would need to give Steven some time before they tried introducing them again.

Bismuth took the news in stride, saying they would do whatever was best for Steven. Lapis just nodded with eyes downcast, placing her hand on Peridot's shoulder when the smaller gem started tearing up beside her.

That task alone had left them all feeling drained, and yet there was still so much to do.

Pearl needed to make a trip to the Store; even if she hadn't been planning a large breakfast, the fridge was nearly bare. That had been an upsetting thing to realize; that there was little to no food in the house.

How long had that been going on?

Pearl had always done the shopping, but there had been little to no need to keep food stocked during Steven's time with the diamonds. Steven's visits had always been brief, and the diamonds, realizing that Steven required food, had gone out of their way to accommodate him. When Steven had officially returned, Pearl had tried shopping again, only for Steven to explain that he no longer liked 'this' or didn't eat 'that' anymore. She had asked him to make her a list, but Steven told her not to worry about it, that he'd do the shopping himself.

'He's growing up.' she'd thought at the time 'He can take care of himself now.'

Steven had made it clear to them that he hadn't wanted to be treated like a kid, and so she thought she'd been respecting his wishes. It was only dawning on her now, that even though Steven didn't want to be treated as a kid, that didn't mean he still wasn't one. He had still needed her, and she hadn't been there.

Pearl hadn't realized she'd started crying, clinging to a near-empty cereal box until Ameythst and Garnet were hugging her.

She tearfully explained herself, gesturing to the open fridge and its meager contents, and watching their faces twist in guilt.

'This isn't just on you, Pearl." Garnet told her. 'We've all been trying to do what we thought Steven wanted of us, instead of making sure he had what he needed for himself."

"Yeah, P,' Amethyst agreed. 'There's plenty of guilt to go around, so stop trying to hog it all.'

'We have to do better.' Garnet reminded them. "We've been given a chance.'

They all nodded, and Pearl pulled herself together enough to finish her list and be on her way.

Garnet and Amethyst had started on the daunting task of making the house presentable. Clearing out the debris and shattered pieces of wood left from the giant hole in the front of the house. When Pearl returned with the food, she joined them in their makeshift repair. A clumsily sown together tarp covered the large opening, held together by nails and tape and staples; Bismuth would be appalled.

When Garnet announced in the early hours of the morning that Steven was likely to wake up at 7:18, give or take precisely 3 minutes, Pearl started making breakfast at 6:30 to ensure everything would be ready.

At 7:15, they heard the first sound of movement from upstairs and exchanged glances as they gathered at the bottom of the stairs to greet Steven.

"Oh, Stars," Pearl fretted, tugging at her jacket. "I'm so nervous."

"Yo, it's just Steven," Ameythst replied, but her feet shifted anxiously.

"Just relax and be yourselves." Garnets twitching fingers betrayed her calm mask.

"Hurry up, Dad!"

Steven's young voice sounded from the top of the stairs, still out of sight.

"I'm coming. I'm coming."

Greg's voice followed, heavy with sleep.

Hurried footsteps as Steven descended, turned the corner, and froze.

For an unmeasurable amount of time, no one moved or spoke. The painting on the wall behind Steven depicted the three gems with a smiling older Steven. It was jarring to see this smaller, younger version of the boy standing just below it; clad in pajama's and feet bare, eyes wide in astonishment.

"Good morning, Steven."

Garnet's words broke the trance, and Steven was beaming in excitement.

"GUYS!" He shouted, launching himself off the remaining steps to get to them.

Garnet fell to her knees and caught the boy in a hug, which he returned with equal vigor. Pearl and Amethyst were quick to join the embrace, wishing him good morning as they patted his back and ruffed his hair.

Steven laughed in delight as he pulled away.

"You all look amazing!" He gushed. "Pearl, your jacket is so cool! And Garnet! Those glasses are amazing!" he hopped from one foot to the other. "OH, OH, and Amethyst! I love how I can see your gem through your shirt!"

Amythest laughed at the boy's excited bouncing.

"Dude, chill." She teased. "You're gonna pee yourself."

Steven's eyes widened, and a blush spread over his cheeks.

"Uh, actually," he squirmed in place. "I really really need to go! Where-"

All three Gems pointed to the door on the other side of the couch.

"Okaythankyou!"

Steven practically sprinted to the bathroom, the door closing and locking hastily behind him.

"Steven," Pearl called, hand cupped around her mouth. "Don't forget to wash your hands!"

Greg had made it to the bottom of the stairs, clothes rumpled, and yawning into the back of his hand.

"Sounds like that went well," he remarked, smiling ruefully. "I sure didn't get any compliments on the haircut."

"It's so strange," Pearl commented softly. "Seeing him act like this."

"Homeboy really is a kid again." Amethyst reflected alongside her. "A small kid with an even smaller bladder."

"That may be true." Garnet said, "But we don't want him thinking there's anything wrong with that."

"With having a small bladder?"

"With him being a child again." Garnet corrected.

The sound of a flush, running water, and Steven was exiting the bathroom again.

"Whoo, that was a close one." He announced, grinning. "I really like the new bathroom."

"Well, move aside, kiddo," Greg said, making his way over. "Your old man needs a turn."

Steven took a step to the side and bowed.

"Right this way, my good sir." He gestured with an arm towards the door.

Greg gave him a playful shove as he passed, making the boy giggle.

"Oh, I wanted to ask," Steven turned to the gems, "How long have we had that giant hole in the house? That's new."

Garnet's reply came before the panic could make its way onto the other's faces.

"We're doing some renovating."

Pearl and Amethyst glanced at her and back at Steven, wondering if he'd believe the simplistic reply.

"Okay."

And he did—his easy acceptance, another reminder of his youth.

"I'm starving. Can we have breakfast?"

"Oh, yes!" Pearl was all too eager to change the subject. "I've already got everything prepared over here."

They made their way towards the kitchen, Steven's gaze darting around as he took in all the changes to his home, until his eyes widened at the array of food spread out on the table. Plates of eggs, both scrambled and sunny side up, sausage, bacon, two stacks of pancakes, toast, and two glasses, one with orange juice and the other milk.

"Wow! This is the biggest best breakfast I've ever seen in my life!" Steven stared, clambering to take a seat. "You made all this by yourself, Pearl?"

The gem in question blushed under the praise.

"Well you know what they say," She chirped, "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

Amethyst jumped up on the seat across from Steven.

"Well, I made the toast." She bragged.

Pearl rolled her eyes, exasperated. "Oh, please. You put bread in the toaster; I'd hardly call you a chef."

Amethyst stuck her tongue out playfully.

"You don't even eat food," She countered, grabbing a piece of toast to hold up. "This could be the best tasting toast in the world, for all you know."

"Well, It is a lovely shade of brown." Pearl conceded, before turning her attention back to Steven. "What would you- uh, Steven?"

The boy was looking between Ameythst and Pearl as if they had both spouted wings.

"Wow, you guys get along really great now." He smiled. "That's amazing!"

"Oh!" Pearl blinked, surprised by the observation. "I suppose we do get along quite well."

Amethyst shrugged. "No big."

"It's really big!" Steven announced, accepting a plate from Garnet. "I always hated it when you guys fought."

He missed the guilty look Pearl and Amethyst exchanged as he started piling food onto his plate.

"Hoh boy," Greg whistled as he approached the table. "That's quite a spread ya got there."

Steven turned to him in excitement, swallowing a large bite of scrambled eggs.

"Dad, are you staying for breakfast?"

Garnet answered for him.

"Of course he is. This is 'Together Breakfast,' after all."

"Really?!" Steven gasped, stars shining in his eyes. "This will be so much better than last time! We're all together! Even dad!"

Cat Steven took this moment to jump onto Steven's lap.

"And a cat!" The boy added excitedly, lifting the cat up under her arms to face him. "Aww, you're so cute. What's your name, little fella?"

"Her name is Cat Steven." Garnet replied.

"Hello, Cat Steven! I'm Steven Steven!"

The cat swatted playfully at his face when he got too close, making Steven giggle.

Garnet stepped around the table to pick Cat Steven up.

"Come here, you little nuisance."

She held the cat in her arms, scratching affectionately behind her ears. Cat Steven responded by purring and rubbing her head against Garnet's hand.

"Oh, that reminds me of my dream!" Steven announced, biting into a piece of bacon. "It was really great!"

"Swallow first, Steven," Pearl instructed, effortlessly falling back into that mothering tone.

"Sorry, Pearl," Steven apologized, mouth still full.

Amethyst laughed at Pearl's put upon expression, and Greg handed Steven the glass of milk.

"Better wash that down, Kiddo."

Steven gratefully accepted the glass, taking a big drink.

"Yeah, and tell us about this dream," Amethyst said, glad to be keeping the topic of discussion light.

That was all the encouragement Steven needed as he launched into his tale.

"Okay, so, we were all in the desert on a mission aaaand... " Steven paused for effect, "I found a lion!"

His dad coughed slightly on a piece of toast, and the gems looked startled.

"I know, right? And that isn't even the best part!" Steven declared. "I dreamt he followed me home, and we became best friends!"

As he began explaining the dream in more detail, misinterpreting their astonished faces, Lion entered the room behind him through a portal.

"Uh, Steven.."

"And then he saved me with his magical powers!" Steven was so enthralled in his tale that he didn't even notice the Large cat making it's way up to him. "Oh, and did I mention he was pink!"

"Uh, schtu-ball.."

"He was the cotton candy of the jungle." Steven mused, sighing dramatically as he gazed up at the ceiling. "Oh, Lion, if only you were real instead of a figment of my imagination."

A low growl answered him as Lion nudged Steven's side with his head.

Steven twisted in his seat, gasping.

"Oh my gosh! You're real!" He jumped up, throwing himself onto lions back with a delighted laugh, trying to hug him as best he could.

"Your mane really is super soft!"

Lion flopped down on the ground, twisting so that Steven rolled off him on the floor and effectively pinning him down. Steven laughed.

"Okay, okay, you got me."

The other's chuckled at the affectionate display, but Pearl rushed to the other side of the table in excitement.

"Steven, do you know what this means?" She asked.

Steven looked up, eyes bright with wonder.

"Dreams really do come true." He whispered.

"What?" Pearls expression wavered before she shook her head. "No, no. Not that."

Steven pouted.

"It means you remembered something, Steven!"

"All on your own," Garnet added.

"Way to go, ste-man!" Amethyst cheered.

Steven's eyes widened.

"Hey, I did!" He beamed. "I thought the dream felt different."

Lion licked his face.

"Ew! Gross! Lion kisses!" Steven pushed at Lion's head, grinning. "Someone save me!"

"I've gotcha, bud."

Greg crouched down to help, and the gems stood closer together while Steven was distracted.

"This is good, right?" Pearl questioned, looking hopeful. "He's already remembered something."

"Yeah, and he didn't even have to be awake for it," Amethyst responded. "Maybe he'll dream all his memories back."

"It's certainly an encouraging sign." Garnet agreed. "But we'll just have to wait and see."

"Uh, guys?" Greg's voice called from the floor, where Lion had effectively trapped both Universes under each arm. "Little help?"

Even with his face smooshed against the floor, Steven managed to lift a fist into the air.

"Best Together Breakfast Ever!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things I'd like to address: I know older Steven is a vegetarian, but young Steven isn't so...he gets bacon and sausage. I know Steven seems to be taking this really well, but right now he's just really excited to be with everyone and so he's not worrying about anything else. As for Steven's dream/memory, I hope this puts a time frame on where Steven is at mentally- early season 1. Also, Steven won't just remember things while he's dreaming cause I find that boring lol.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, this chapter is longer than the others and I included a picture!

* * *

Connie Maheswaran was far from the shy, lonely girl she had been when she'd first met Steven. She had fought corrupted gems, survived being stranded on an alien planet, and even stood her ground against tyrannical dictators.

So why did she suddenly feel like she was 11 years old again? Why was she so afraid and nervous about facing the younger version of her best friend? How long had she been standing on the beach just looking up at the temple, clutching the straps of her messenger bag so tight she thought she might rip it apart?

Connie had spent most of the night researching memory loss and trauma on her computer, despite her mother's instructions to go to bed. She'd wanted to find out as much as she could; to be better prepared for understanding Steven's situation and how best to help. Nothing seemed to fit Steven's unique circumstances, but she'd picked up some helpful ideas and advice on memory improvement. At the very least, it gave her something constructive to focus on and left her tired enough afterward to sleep without any dreams.

Or nightmares.

"Um, Connie?"

She'd been so lost in thought that she hadn't even seen Mr.Universe approaching.

"Oh! Hello, Mr.Universe."

"You looked a million miles away," Greg gave her a sympathetic smile. "You doing alright?"

"Oh yeah, I just-" She glanced up at the temple again and sighed. "I guess I'm a little nervous. Is that silly?"

"No, not at all." He placed a hand on her shoulder. "But I know Steven's going to be really happy to see you."

"Yeah?"

"Oh, yeah." Greg chuckled as he pulled his hand away. "He was so upset when he woke up and realized I'd let him fall asleep before you came up. He even hit me with a pillow!"

That made Connie chuckle, the grip on her messenger bag loosened.

"So, where are you off to?" She asked. "I figured you'd be sticking close by."

"That was the plan, but," He frowned down at his phone. "Looks like I'm headed into town to meet with the mayor."

At Connie's questioning expression, he explained.

"She must have been trying to get ahold of Steven, but since she couldn't reach him, she's left me a bunch of messages." He nervously ran a hand over his head. "She wants to know what happened with the, uh, monster."

Connie's eyes went wide.

"What are you going to tell her?"

"Honestly?" Greg chuckled. "I have no idea!"

She winced, not envying the man.

"She's not the only one either. Half the town has left me messages asking if Steven is okay." He sighed. "I figured I better tell them something or they'll be coming here to check on him themselves and, well-"

"Yeah." Connie frowned. "That would probably be a bad idea right now."

Greg nodded in agreement.

"I told Steven I had some business to take care of, and I'd be back later this evening."The man offered another strained smile. "He was asking the Gems if they had any missions when I left. Not sure how they're handling that one. I bet they'd all be relieved to see you."

Greg's phone rang, and he looked down and winced.

"Oh, geez, I better go." He took off towards the van, waving back at her as he left. "Take care."

"You too," Connie called back. "Good luck!"

If Mr.Universe could face an entire town, then she could face Steven. Steeling her resolve, she made her way up the hill. As she walked up the steps, Connie stopped just outside the makeshift tarp that was once the front of the house, listening to make sure she wasn't interrupting something important.

"-why we bubbled them."

She caught the end of Pearl's sentence.

"So, you're saying-" Steven's voice drifted out, sounding so young it momentarily startled her. "All those monster we've been fighting were actually gems?"

Despite what Mr.Universe had told her, she was amazed the Gems were actually explaining things to him.; especially this. Wasn't this considered traumatic?

Steven sounded more confused than upset, though.

"And they looked and acted like that because they were- what was that word?"

Garnet's voice answered stoically.

"Corrupted."

Connie winced. This was not a topic of discussion she'd expect them to have on the first day. What were they thinking?

"But, it's all good now!' Amethyst chimed in, obviously trying to dispel the dark mood. "Everyone's back to normal, and the world is safe!"

It seemed to work, at least for Steven.

"Wow, that's great!" He sounded relieved and happy. "I can't believe you guys found a way to fix them all!"

"We didn't," Garnet admitted, her voice much warmer than before. "You did."

"Me?"

Connie found herself smiling slightly at Steven's astonished tone.

"That's right." Pearl finally spoke up. "If it weren't for you, none of that would have been possible."

"How'd I do that?"

"Oh! Uh, well-"

"You never gave up," Garnet answered over Pearl's stuttering, intentionally vague. "You found a way."

"Yeah, Steve-o, you're a real champ."

Connie imagined him beaming under the praise; he'd always been so concerned with impressing them when he'd been younger.

"I'm glad they're okay now," Steven's voice was quieter again, so sincere. "It must have been so scary, being corrupted."

Connie closed her eyes against the sudden pang in her chest, picturing Steven's corrupted form and imagining how scared he must have been. She wondered if the Gems had done a better job hiding their reactions.

"But how'd they get like that in the first place?" Steven asked all innocent confusion.

That was her cue. There was no way the Gems could start explaining the Diamonds to Steven- it was too much, too soon. There was no door to knock on, so she announced her presence verbally.

"Hello?" She spoke louder than was necessary. "It's me, Connie."

"Oh, thank heavens!" Pearls relieved exclamation was almost drowned out by Steven's much louder cry of "CONNIE'S HERE!"

Hearing Steven's hurried footsteps, Connie pulled the tarp back to step inside. Steven was racing to meet her at the entrance but stopped in his tracks, smile vanishing from his face and eyes going wide. He took a startled step back, bumping into Pearl, who'd been following close behind him. Noticing Stevens's sudden change in demeanor, Pearl placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Steven..?"

All of Connie's previous anxiety returned, but she managed to smile.

"Hey." Her voice came out quiet but steady. "It's good to see you."

Steven blinked out of his shocked daze, and color spread across his cheeks.

"H-hey, Connie." Steven stammered, rubbing his arm bashfully. "You look, um, different."

Connie grinned slightly.

"Good different or bad different?" She asked.

"Different different," He admitted quietly, then rushed to add, "But also good different!"

He looked down nervously, then seemed to notice what he was wearing.

"Oh geez, I-I'm still in my pajamas!" Steven threw his hands out as if to shield himself from her view, "Don't look! I- I gotta go change!" He turned and sprinted up the stairs.

"I'll be right back!" He called from out of view.

There was a moment of silence before Amethyst burst out laughing.

"Oh, man," She clutched at her belly. "And I thought Steven was worked up the first time he tried talking to you! That was priceless!"

"Amethyst, don't make fun." Pearl chided.

"You don't think this is too much for him, do you?" Connie asked, concerned.

Garnet smiled as she approached, looking amused herself.

"He can handle it."

Irritation flared in Connie as she remembered the conversation that had been taking place before she'd arrived.

"You mean like he can handle you guys telling him about corruption?" She folded her arms across her chest, frowning.

Garnet's face became blank, Pearl and Amethyst looked guilty.

"You heard what my mom said; we're not supposed to bring up anything traumatic," Her voice was fierce but low, keenly aware that Steven might overhear. "And the very first thing you do is tell him about corruption? Really?!"

"What were we suppose to do?" Amethyst fired back, matching Connie's tone and stance. "He asked about the missions-"

"So tell him there aren't any more missions! Tell him the world is safe!" Connie countered, scowling. "You didn't have to go into detail!"

"That's exactly what we _did_ tell him." Pearl's voice was calm, "But then he asked if all the monsters we defeated were still bubbled in the temple."

"Look, it's my fault, okay?!" Amethyst threw her arms up, "I screwed up and said he didn't need to worry about the corrupted Gems anymore."

Garnet placed a hand on Amethyst's shoulder but addressed Connie.

"We hadn't realized this was information he had lost." She explained. "We had to tell him the truth."

"We would have had to explain at some point regardless," Pearl reasoned. "Little Homeworld isn't something we'd be able to keep secret, and...we didn't want to lie to him."

Connie sighed, the anger having lessened, but not vanished entirely.

"I heard him ask how it happened." She continued. "Do you really think bringing up... _them._.would be a good idea?"

"No." Garnet answered, "But I knew you would intervene before we had to."

That left her dumbfounded, mouth opening and closing.

Steven's footsteps could be heard coming down the stairs, not nearly as hurried as they had been going up, and the group fell silent. Steven shyly stepped around the corner, eyes meeting hers for the briefest of seconds before looking away.

"It took me a while to find something that fits." He admitted embarrassed.

He was barefoot still, but wearing his old pink shirt with the yellow star and a pair of jeans; if she looked closely, she could see the creases where they'd been folded for some time.

Connie felt herself smiling, nostalgic; Steven looked every bit the boy she had met on the beach years ago.

"You look great."

She worried for a moment that her words would cause him to get flustered again, but instead, it seemed to ease whatever tension was in his frame. He beamed and bounded down the last of the stairs to stand in front of her.

"I'm really glad you're here. We've got so much to catch up on!" He grabbed her hand and tugged her forward, "You gotta come see my cool new room! Come on, let's go!"

She hurried to keep up with his steps, looking back just before they turned the first corner and meeting Pearl's apologetic stare.

"Wait till you see," Steven let go of her hand, jumping up the last few steps and throwing his arms out dramatically. "TADA!"

She stepped inside, smiling.

"Steven-"

"Isn't it rad? Just look at this," he hopped up on his bed, laughing and jumping. "It's so bouncy! Oh-" he jumped from the bed to the floor, "And check out these cool posters! Wait- is that Sadie!? I didn't know she was in a band!"

"Steven-"

"But never mind that! Did you see this balcony? Hm, I wonder why the window's cracked."

Connie sighed, abandoning her futile attempt to get the boy's attention. She'd almost forgotten how easily distracted he'd been at this age. Instead, she smiled as Steven made his way around the room, gesturing to the pictures on his dresser, to the stacks of VHS tapes by his tv, and the various nick nacks above his bed; most of the things he only seemed to be noticing for the first time himself.

"And that's my room," Steven leaned against the wall, arms folded across his chest, and trying to seem nonchalant. "Pretty sweet, right?"

"It's great, Steven, but...," Connie hesitated, her grin apologetic, "I've been in here before."

"Oh." He looked abashed, standing up straight to rub the back of his neck. "I guess you probably know this room better than I do then, heh."

He was probably right about that, but Connie didn't want to make him feel bad.

"You know you don't have to impress me. Right?" She asked, smiling softly.

"I-I know." He stammered. "I guess I'm just nervous."

Connie frowned, feeling guilty. Had coming here been a mistake?

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"No, no! It's not you!" He hurried to reassure her but then hesitated. "Well, it is, but it's not your fault!"

Steven sighed as he let himself drop into a seated position on the floor, looking defeated. Connie lowered herself to sit down in front of him, shrugging off her messenger bag.

"You can tell me." She encouraged. "I won't get upset or anything."

Despite her open invitation, she was still a little surprised when Steven started talking again.

"It's silly," he admitted, embarrassed "I mean, Dad and the others told me I'm supposed to be 16, and I guess I should have known you'd be older too."

"Oh." Connie's eyes widened."The last time you remember seeing me, I was eleven."

Steven nodded.

"I thought maybe you'd be a little taller, but," He blushed, glancing up at her. "You look so different. You don't even have your glasses."

Connie nearly reached up to touch frames that were no longer there. Steven had healed her eyes early in their friendship; it was a sad reminder of how much he was missing.

"I-uh- almost didn't recognize you."

Connie wanted to both laugh and cry at his confession but settled for a sad smile instead. It was obvious Steven was feeling some unwarranted guilt over his reaction to her, and she didn't want to make it worse.

"You know," She began, voice soft and thoughtful. "When my mom told me how young you were, I was so worried you wouldn't remember me at all."

She clasped her hands together on her lap, still remembering how devastated she'd felt, thinking she'd been erased.

"No way," Steven countered, earnest and kind. "I'd never forget you, Connie."

She was both touched and amused by his words, smiling up at him.

"Steven, you literally have amnesia." She reminded him.

"And I still remember you! See?" He grinned. "I don't care that you're older. You're still my best friend."

Connie wanted to reach out and hug him.

"Um, we are still best friends, right?" He asked blushing.

"Of course we are, silly," She smiled warmly up at him. "It doesn't-"

_**"-doesn't matter to me what age it seems like you are. I wanna hang out with you no matter what."** _

_**Connie looked back at Steven from the front seat of his dad's van, understanding, and kind. She reached back towards him, and he didn't feel so small anymore.** _

"-even?"

Connie was looking at him in concern, and it took a moment for him to form a response.

"What?"

He felt strange and lightheaded.

"You kinda spaced out," She laid her hand-

_**-her hand over his.** _

_**"You don't need any powers to be here with me."** _

_**There was a moment of silence between them, and a warm breeze carried through the air, blowing Connie's hair back. He stared mesmerized as she leaned towards him.** _

"Steven??"

Connie sounded frightened, her hands were on his shoulders, and he realized he'd somehow pitched forward.

"What's wrong?" Her hands moved to cup his face. "Are you-"

_**"Are you, you?"** _

"Y-yeah, I'm me." He stammered, then corrected himself when he saw Connie's confused face. "I mean, I'm okay." He put a hand to his head. "I think."

"What happened?" Connie asked, trying not to show how frightened she'd been. "It was like you were somewhere else. I couldn't get your attention, and then you almost fell over."

Steven blinked.

"I think I remembered something," he replied, brows furrowed. "Or a couple of somethings."

Connie's eyebrows raised.

"Really?" She sounded astonished. "What was it?"

He smiled slightly, meeting her gaze.

"You."

She wasn't sure why, but she blushed.

"Me? What about me?"

"You were saying you'd hang out with me, no matter what age I-" Steven paused, giving Connie a questioning look. "Wait. Have I turned into a kid before?

"Sorta." Connie smiled, having placed the memory."You actually turned into a baby."

"A baby?!"

Connie snickered at his shocked expression.

"It was just for a night, but yeah."

"So, this is a habit of mine, huh," Steven commented good-naturedly. "At least I don't need diapers this time."

Connie let out an undignified snort, before becoming serious again.

"So, what else did you remember?"

He smiled and rubbed the back of his neck.

"We were outside, and you grabbed my hand." He recalled, blushing. "You told me I didn't need any powers to be with you."

"Do you remember what happened after that?" Connie asked, leaning forward in anticipation.

"Uh-" Steven stammered. "W-well, you uh-...you were leaning in pretty close to me, b-but that's all I remember."

"So," Connie smiled, deciding there was no harm in the information she was about to share. "You don't remember healing my eyes."

His reaction was more than worth it.

"WHAT?!" Steven shouted, eyes huge. "I didn't even know that was a thing!"

"Yup," Connie grinned, satisfied. "Good old healing spit."

"I spit in your eyes?!" Steven's hands came up to grip the sides of his head. "Why would I even do that??"

"Steven, no," Connie laughed, shaking her head. "You didn't spit in my eyes."

"Wait so-" Steven's face turned red, and he squeaked. "Did we..kiss??"

Now it was Connie's turn to blush.

"No, no, we didn't!" She rushed to explain, waving her hands. "I drank from your juice box, that's all."

"O-oh, heh." Steven smiled awkwardly. "Backwash, huh? Gross."

Connie cleared her throat, eager to move on.

"So!" She clapped her hands together, "Any other memories?"

"Uh, Well," Steven sounded confused. "There was something else, but it was just your voice. I don't remember where we were or what was happening."

Connie frowned curiously.

"What did I say?"

"You asked me if I was...me?" Steven answered, shrugging, and looking unsure. "It sounds weird, but that's- Connie?"

The girl in front of him suddenly looked pale.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

Connie recovered quickly, pushing back her own memories of that time and place.

"Yeah. Sorry," Connie smiled wanly, grateful that Steven hadn't remembered any details. "Guess it's my turn to space out."

Steven didn't look entirely convinced.

"Oh, I almost forgot," She reached for her bag and a convenient change of topic. "I brought a few things for you."

"You did?" He perked up. "But I didn't get you anything."

"It's not a big deal," Connie replied as she pulled out what she'd brought.

When she looked back, Steven was covering his eyes and grinning in anticipation.

She smiled, amused.

"You can look, Steven."

He uncovered his eyes and gasped.

"A notebook!" He exclaimed. "And a pencil!"

His over the top reaction to something so mundane made her blush.

"As I said; it's not a big deal," She shrugged as she handed the items over to him. "I read an article that keeping a journal can help with problem-solving and stress reduction. It can also improve both your mental and physical health."

"So...it's like a diary?" Steven asked, eyes wide as he hugged the notebook to his chest.

"Well, yeah," Connie agreed. "You can write down everything that's happening, or even stuff you remember and how it makes you feel."

Steven looked down at the notebook, placing a hand on the light pink cover as if it were something rare and precious.

When he spoke, his voice was hushed and reverent.

"A place to confess my deepest and innermost thoughts and feelings."

He grinned suddenly.

"Or I can write down fanfic ideas for Crying Breakfast Friends!"

"Oh, well, I guess so," Connie replied, bemused. "It's your diary."

"Oh man, I just realized-" Steven put a hand to his head in distress. "I have sooo many episodes to catch up on now! I don't remember how the finale even ended, or if they got renewed for another three seasons! I wonder what- "

"Steven?"

Connie's hand came to rest on his shoulder, abruptly ending his rant. 

Steven looked over at her questioningly.

"I want you to know that Just because you have a journal- er, Diary, it doesn't mean you can't still talk to me about stuff," She said sincerely, "I want you to be able to tell me anything, even when something's wrong, _especially_ when something's wrong. Whether it's a memory, or just day to day stuff, okay?"

Steven nodded.

"I like talking to you."

Connie chuckled.

"I'm glad."

"It's funny," Steven smiled, "My dad and the gems said kinda the same thing this morning after breakfast."

Connie blinked.

"They did?"

"Yeah. They want me to tell them when I remember something so that we can talk it over." He replied. "Oh! And to tell them if anything upsets me, even if it's them."

"Oh, that's...really good."

Connie suddenly felt guilty for scolding them earlier. They had given this more consideration than she'd initially thought.

"Oh! We gotta go tell them what I remembered," He jumped up, "They'll be so excited!"

"Oh, uh, wait-" Connie scrambled to her feet, panicked at the thought of facing the gems so soon after their conversation. "Let's hang out in here for a while first."

Steven looked at her questioningly.

"I have to be home in a couple of hours, but-" She reached back for her bag, "That should be just enough to watch... this!" She pulled out a VHS tape and held it in front of her for Steven to see.

"It's the first Dogcopter movie," Connie announced, "Arguably the best of the entire franchise. I figured you might not remember watching them before so-"

"Whoa! The cover looks so cool!" Steven had stars in his eyes. "We gotta watch it right now! Just let me put this up," Steven took his diary and placed it carefully on the nightstand by his bed, the pencil tucked into the spiral binder.

Connie grinned over her shoulder as she put the movie in the VCR.

"I hope you're ready for action, adventure, and dog based puns."

"I was born ready!" Steven declared, striking a dramatic pose that made Connie snort into her hand.

They sat side by side, Steven with his legs crossed and leaning forward, eager as the movie started. Connie leaned back and braced herself with her arms, watching Steven's reactions from the corner of her eye.

It was nice to see Steven so happy and carefree, but Connie was worried about the younger boy facing down the memories that would make him into the person he'd been. She missed the older Steven, and she hated how much was left unsaid between them, but right now, there was nothing she could do for that version of her friend.

Steven laughed beside her at another terrible pun, and she smiled. This was the Steven that was here now, and this was the Steven she could help. She would be there and try to protect him in any way she could.

She would be his knight.


	7. Dear Diary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can't say how many times I changed my mind while writing this chapter lol but here it is and I'm happy with how it turned out. I really wanted to give some insight into Steven's thoughts while also throwing in some random cute moments and setting the story up for the next chapter. whoo.  
> Also, some more pictures I threw together!

Dear Diary,  
Hi, Steven Universe here! I've never had a diary before, so I'm not sure how to start. Connie said it was for writing down my thoughts and feelings, so I'll try that. You see, the thing is, I'm supposed to be 16, but right now I'm 12. That probably sounds weird, but I'm pretty used to weird stuff in my life. I guess it's kind of like I have magical amnesia. I'm not even really sure how it happened. I tried asking the gems, but they seemed super uncomfortable about it.

"Whatcha doing there, Ste-man?"

Steven looked over from his spot on the couch, where Ameythst had flopped down beside him.

"Nothing!"

He held the notebook protectively against his chest, blushing when Ameythst raised an eyebrow.

"I'm just writing in my Diary." He confessed, "Connie gave it to me yesterday."

He expected Amethyst to make fun of him, but she offered an easygoing smile instead.

"Hey, that's cool."

Steven frowned, suspicious.

"You're not gonna say it's for sissys?"

Amethyst startled slightly at the question, the corner of her mouth turning down.

"Dude, no." She looked apologetic, even though she hadn't done anything. "I think it's a great idea."

"And you're not gonna try and take it and read it out loud?" Steven asked, just to be sure.

He could easily imagine Amethyst snatching the notebook from his hands, laughing as he chased her around the room.

"Hey, that's your personal biz," She replied sincerely. "I'm not gonna disrespect you like that."

Steven felt himself relax, no longer gripping the notebook so tightly. There were a lot of things about the future that he was still adjusting to, and Amethyst's newfound maturity was one of them. She still joked and teased him, still liked playing games and goofing off, but something had changed, something he couldn't quite put his finger on. 

Steven smiled.

"Thanks, Amethyst."

"No prob." She shrugged, but then looked uncomfortable. "listen, I-"

Steven looked at her curiously, but Amethyst avoided his gaze.

"I'm sorry if I ever, ya know, made you feel like that."

Steven frowned.

"Like what?"

"I dunno, like," She sighed in frustration. "Look, I was a jerk to you before, and I'm sorry."

Steven blinked.

"I don't think you're a jerk."

Amethyst scoffed.

"Dude, you literally thought I was going to steal your Diary and read it out loud," she said, "And you're _right_ to think that! That's totally something I would have done before."

Steven just continued to stare, confused.

"Oh man, I probably would have shapeshifted into you and did a funny voice and everything!" She groaned into her hands. "I was terrible."

"Don't say that!" Steven sounded upset. "I never thought you were terrible."

Amethyst looked over at him.

"I know you like to tease me a lot, but I always just thought, well-" He looked down at his lap, lowering his voice as though embarrassed, "I thought it was like what siblings do. Like you were my big sister."

Amethyst's face lit up in surprise and delight.

"You think of me as a big sister?"

Steven nodded and then looked up through his lashes.

"Is that okay?"

"Aww, dude! Of course, it's okay!" Amethyst gave him an affectionate shove. "You are definitely my little bro. Always."

Steven grinned, sitting next to his sister and enjoying the moment.

At least until Amethyst's own grin turned mischievous.

"You do know what little brothers get, right?"

His eyes widened when the purple gem pounced on him.

"NOOGIES!!" 

Steven squawked, unable to pull away before he was captured in a headlock.

"AH- AMETHYST! DON'T!"

"Say you surrender!" Amethyst cackled, rubbing her fist against the top of his head as he squirmed and flailed about.

"I SURRENDER! I SURRENDER!"

Dear diary,

It's been 3 days since I last remembered anything new. Connie and I both told the gems about the bits of memories I had about her- well except the last one where it was just her voice, I guess that one wasn't very important though. Anyway, they were all very excited, since I'd had that dream/memory of Lion the night before. I guess it seemed like I was going to get my memories back really quickly, but like I said, that was 3 days ago. The gems and my dad ask every morning if I had any dreams, and I know they're hoping I'll remember more stuff, but I haven't. They try not to show it, but I can tell they're disappointed. Or maybe just worried? I'm not sure. I just know I hate seeing them upset.

"Steven."

The boy looked up; Pearl was standing at the entrance to his room, smiling.

"I was wondering if you'd like to join us?"

Steven beamed, closing the notebook and scrambling off the bed.

"What is it?" he placed his diary on the nightstand and rushed to meet her. "Are we going somewhere?"

They hadn't left the house since he'd changed into a kid.

"Oh well, no," Pearl admitted, but then hurried to explain when Steven's expression fell. "But we're all downstairs, and I thought we could do some activities together."

"Activities?" Steven's interest peaked.

"It was Connie's suggestion," Pearl explained. "She said art could be very therapeutic, and so I've gathered everything I could find."

It was strange, but nice, that Connie and the gems got along so well.

"So...arts and crafts time?" Steven summarized, grinning. "With all of us together?"

"That's the idea," Pearl replied, "And we better get down there before Amethyst decides to start eating the paint again."

Steven giggled, grabbing Pearl's hand and leading them both down the stairs. He wasn't sure why she seemed surprised by his touch.

Garnet was seated on the couch, arms resting casually on the back as they descended. Amethyst had taken a seat on the floor by the table and was currently dipping a finger into a small bottle of yellow paint. The table was covered in paper, and various art supplies from crayons to markers, to colored pencils and paint.

Steven let go of Pearl and dropped to his knees by the table opposite of Amethyst.

"Hey there, Steve-a-roni." Amethyst greeted, holding out the paint. "Hungry?"

"Kind of, but I don't think yellow's my color." Steven quipped.

"And besides that, we have snacks," Pearl replied, already handing steven a bag of chaaps that he eagerly tore open. "Dinner will be in a couple of hours."

"Is dad coming?" Steven asked, mouth full.

"He'll be here within the next hour," Garnet answered, sitting up. "He'll be bringing a pie for dessert."

Steven grinned, taking Garnets word for it. She always seemed to be right about these things.

Pearl took the seat next to Garnet on the couch.

"In the meantime, we can express ourselves through art." Pearl grabbed a marker, "No, that's too permanent," She set it back down and grabbed a pencil, "here we go."

"It doesn't have to be perfect, P." Amethyst teased, as she dipped her finger in the paint. "Fingerpainting is the way to go."

"I'm partial to the colored pencils," Garnet informed the group, selecting a few. "There's a lot of diversity."

"And I choose crayons!" Steven grabbed one, holding it up to the light. "Oh, crayon, so simple yet so complex; what masterpiece shall we create together?"

For the next few minutes, there was silence as the group worked on their individual pieces. Steven looked up at Garnet's paper, curiously.

"Uh, Garnet?" He asked. "Is that just a drawing of yourself?"

"The best thing I could think of." Garnet just smiled. "And you?"

"I'm not sure yet," Steven answered, looking down at the rough outline he's started. "I'm kinda letting the crayon guide me, ya know."

"And is that some kind of bird, Amethyst?" Pearl asked, looking over at the shorter gems painting.

Amethyst snorted. "Nah, P. That's you."

"Excuse me?" Pearl frowned. "I do not look like that."

"It's called artistic expression." Amethyst countered with a grin. "It's a compliment."

"Hm. I'll show you artistic expression." Pearl's grin was mischievous as she grabbed another paper and began scribbling. "How do you like....this?"

She held the rough sketch up in front of her.

"IS that me?" Amethyst asked, eyes wide. "Wow, I look great!"

Pearl turned it back around to look and sighed in defeat.

"You're right. It's perfect."

Amethyst laughed.

Steven listened to the exchange as his crayon guided across his paper and smiled.

Pearl and Amethyst's arguments used to be so upsetting to him, but now there was this friendly, almost playful edge to their bickering.

He picked up another crayon, coloring the figure he'd drawn in, humming to himself happily.

It was actually fun to listen to them go back and forth.

"Steven..." Pearls voice sounded hesitant, "What's that song you're humming?"

Steven shrugged, focused on his drawing.

"I'm not sure, but I like it." He hummed some more.

He missed the look Pearl and Amethyst exchanged and still didn't look up when Pearl sang softly along with his humming.

"All I wanna do~."

Amethyst picked up where she left off.

"Is see you turn into`"

Steven opened his mouth to bellow the last part out.

"A giant woman!"

Surprised at the sound of his voice singing words he didn't know, he looked up.

The Gems were all staring at him, but Pearl stood up to see what he'd been drawing.

"Steven is that-"

He looked down.

"This? I just made her up in my head." He held the paper up. "I call it Giant Woman. Pretty neat, huh?"

"That's Opal!" Amethyst shouted, jumping to her feet. "Dude, you remembered!"

"Huh?" He looked back at the picture. "You mean she's real?!"

"She is the combined forms of both Amethyst and Pearl," Garnet informed him.

"Combined forms?" Steven repeated, a word rising to the forefront of his mind. "Fusion?"

"Yes! Steven, that's fusion!" Pearl had that high, excited quality to her voice again.

Amethyst was looking at him curiously.

"Did you have one of your memory things, like with Connie?" she asked. "You hardly spaced out at all."

"No, I-" Steven looked to the drawing. "I don't have any memories of her. I was thinking about you guys and she just kinda appeared in my head."

"And the song?" Pearl asked. "You don't remember singing it to us?"

"Um, not really." He admitted frowning.

"Hm. Interesting." Garnet mused, offering Steven a smile. "It seems there's a lot of diversity in remembering something as well."

She placed a hand on top of Steven's head, instantly easing his anxiety over the issue.

"Plus, you made us look awesome!" Amethyst cheered.

"It is a beautiful rendering, Steven." Pearl complimented.

The boy beamed and leaned forward eagerly as he began spouting off questions.

"Does Opal really have four arms?! What's your weapon? What's it feel like being a fusion? Are there other fusions too? Wait-" He jumped up. "Can I do that??"

Dear Diary,

As much as I'm enjoying spending time with my family, and the visits I get from Connie, I'm starting to feel a little cooped up. I haven't actually left the house since this whole thing started, except to go down to the beach where dad parked his van.

I asked about going into town, but the gems and my dad didn't think it was a good idea. They seem really worried that it's going to be too much for me, and Dad said the town doesn't know that I've turned into a kid again, and he wasn't sure how they'd react. The Gems think I should wait for more of my memories to come back, and dad said if it took too long, he'd explain things to people so I could visit.

I know what they're saying makes sense, but I'd really like to see everyone again. Are Lars and Sadie dating now? Has Mr.Smiley lifted my lifetime ban from Funland? Does Peedee still work at his dad's restaurant? Oh man, I miss the bits.  
I guess I shouldn't complain, after all, I have been having a lot of fun here with everyone. We play board games and watch movies, we eat meals together, and the gems always have activities planned. I stay pretty busy.

Now that I think about it, I can't help but wonder if that's on purpose.

Anyway, I was pretty quiet during dinner, and I know they could all tell I was bummed about not getting to leave. They tried to cheer me up, but afterward, I told everyone I was going up to my room to be alone and watch a movie. So...here I am. I did put a movie in, but I'm not actually watching it. I know it's probably childish, but I guess I am a child right now, so....maybe that's okay?

I hope I didn't hurt their feelings.

Maybe I should just go downstairs and apologize? What if they think I don't like hanging out with them anymore? What if-

Steven abruptly stopped writing, heart pounding with a fear he didn't quite understand. All he knew was that he was suddenly, fiercely, worried that his earlier behavior had caused irreparable damage. If he'd given himself a moment to think, he would have realized how silly the idea was- that one evening of sulking could ever isolate himself from his family- but right now, it all seemed very real.

Steven scrambled off the bed, diary, and pencil abandoned in his haste to get back downstairs to the others. He would hug them all, and apologize for being so rude, and thank Pearl for dinner, and tell them all how much he loved them, and _please please don't leave me_.

"Guys!" He yelled as he ran, skipping over two steps at a time. "I'm so-AH!"

He tripped just as he went to turn the corner, the second half of the stairs rushing up to meet him. He had just enough time to squeeze his eyes shut and brace for impact, but....it never came. Instead, hands shot out to catch him, one under his arm and the other on his shoulder for support.

"Steven!"

"Dude, you almost bit it!"

"You alright, kiddo?"

He blinked at his own startled expression reflected back at him in Garnets visor. 

"It's okay." her hand squeezed reassuringly on his shoulder as she helped him regain his balance, "I have you, Steven."

He wasn't sure if Garnet made the move to pick him up first, or if he'd simply sprang forward, but between one breath and the next, he was in her arms.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" He cried into her chest, arms around her neck and legs wound tightly around her waist. "I didn't mean-"

Voices rose around him, trying to get his attention, trying to reassure him, but it was all muted against the pounding in his chest and his own shaky breaths.

"That's enough." Garnet's voice broke through the haze, stern but gentle and not at all directed at him. "He needs a moment."

One of her hands came to rest on the back of Steven's head protectively, gently pressing him against her as she calmly walked to the couch and took a seat.

For several long moments, Steven simply lay against her, eyes closed, enjoying the warmth and comfort of her embrace. Slowly the anxiety that had clawed its way inside him eased, his breathing became more even, and he tilted his head up to look at her.

"Better?" She asked, fingers brushing at the curls on the back of his head.

He nodded meekly.

"Steven..?"

He turned to see his dad standing anxiously behind him. Steven was sure the man would have already left for the night, but he hadn't. He was still here. They were _all_ still here.

"What the heck kind of movie were you watching up there?" Amethyst asked, her tone sounded bemused, but her expression was troubled.

"It...it wasn't the movie," Steven admitted, easing his grip on Garnet to sit up in her lap.

Pearl took a hesitant step forward.

"Did you remember something?"

Unlike the other times she asked, there was nothing eager or excited in her tone or expression.

Steven shook his head wordlessly, warmth spreading over his cheeks.

His dad's hand came to rest on his back.

"Just tell us what's wrong, kiddo." His voice was so kind and caring.

"It's nothing," Steven's voice trembled just slightly, and he felt himself shrink under their concerned gazes. "I just...got scared."

He ducked his head at the questioning looks he received.

"I was worried you were mad at me." The fear had faded, but his vision still blurred with the threat of tears as he glanced back up. "Y-you're not...are you?"

"What? No way!"

"Steven, of course not."

"We were never mad at you, schtu-ball."

Garnet lifted a hand to his cheek, directing his gaze up at her.

"We understand why you were upset."

"We've been down here discussing possible solutions," Pearl added.

"Yeah, we know we can't like, keep you here forever." Amethyst shrugged and then quietly admitted. "Even if we kinda want to."

Garnet wiped traces of tears off his face, and he felt even more like a child than he already was. He didn't understand why he'd gotten so upset, and clearly, whatever worries he'd had were unfounded.

"I'm sorry." He apologized, tugging at his shirt. "I didn't mean to act like a big baby."

"You don't have to apologize for how you feel, kiddo." His dad replied, "We're here for you, no matter what."

Steven looked at the faces around him, full of love and understanding, and warmth seeped into his very core.

He smiled.

"Thanks."

"So, you wanna hear what we've come up with?" Amethyst asked, to which Steven vigorously nodded.

"We still think it's too soon to go into town," Pearl spoke, voice contrite, "However, we decided it might be beneficial to visit some of the places we used to go on missions."

"Did I go on a lot of missions?" Steven asked, full of curiosity.

Garnet smiled down at him.

"You were a great asset to us."

Steven grinned back.

"We've also decided that maybe it's time we...introduced you to some new friends." Pearl's voice was cautious as if she was still unsure if this idea was good or not.

"New friends?" Steven's eyes widened. "Do you mean other gems? like us?"

They'd told him that the corrupted gems had been healed, and later when he'd asked, Pearl explained that many of them had stayed on Earth. They'd even built their very own town!

"Heck yeah, little man," Amethyst confirmed.

"When can we meet them? What're their names?" He'd squirmed his way out of Garnet's lap. "Let's go right now!"

"Whoa, easy there, schtu-ball." His dad laughed as he placed a hand on his son's shoulder. "No one's going anywhere tonight. It's already getting pretty late."

"Aww, man," Steven whined. "But, gems don't even need to sleep."

"But, Stevens do," Garnet said. "It'll be better for everyone to wait until tomorrow."

"And we're starting small," Pearl warned. "Just one visitor at a time, and she'll be coming here."

Steven nodded, still thrilled at the idea of meeting someone new. And a gem! He'd never met another gem before!

"What's her name? What's she like?" He asked, staring up at Pearl, who had been doing most of the talking.

"Her name is Bismuth." Pearl's expression softened, which could only mean good things. "She's one of the original crystal gems and-"

Her light blue eyes looked far away for a moment, considering.

"She's strong and brave, but also kind and thoughtful." Pearl smiled. "She's a fierce fighter and an even more loyal friend."

"Plus, she's going to fix this giant hole in our house!" Amethyst added.

"Well, yes, that too," Pearl admitted sheepishly.

"Wow, she sounds amazing!" Steven gushed. "I hope she likes me."

"Dude, she's your friend too." Amethyst reminded him with a light shove.

"Oh, that's right!" Steven laughed at himself, sticking his tongue out playfully. "I keep forgetting about future me."

That earned him a few nervous chuckles.

"I wish it was morning already." Steven sighed.

"The sooner you go to sleep, the sooner it will be." His dad replied.

"You're right! I need to go to bed!" Steven darted towards the stairway before stopping, "Oh! But first!"

He ran back and hugged his dad.

"I love you!"

Before his dad could return the embrace, he was darting to hug the others goodnight, telling each of them he loved them. They barely managed to return the sentiment before Steven ran back up the stairs with a hurried 'Good night! See you in the morning!' leaving them standing there, stunned.

"No way that kid is sleeping tonight," Amethyst stated, and the rest shook their heads in silent agreement.

Dear Diary,

Tomorrow is going to be a great day!


	8. Strictly Bismuth

"How come you get to see Steven first?" Peridot sulked, following behind Bismuth towards the warp pad.

"He met me _way_ before he met you!" She exclaimed, throwing her arms up. "I'm practically his best friend!"

"Excuse me," Lapis frowned, shooting the smaller gem a challenging glare. "In case you've forgotten, I was his friend first."

"Guys guys," Bismuth held her arms out placatingly. "It's nothing personal, really; they need me to help fix up the house, that's all."

She offered a grin as they stopped in front of the warp pad.

"You could say it's strictly ..Bis-muth? eh?"

"Don't try to pacify me with your pun-based hilarity," Peridot warned. "I'm on to you."

Lapis looked equally unimpressed.

"Just try not to blow it." She warned.

Bismuth laughed nervously.

"No pressure, right?"

\----------------  
"She'll be here soon, right?"

Pearl shook her head in fond exasperation at Steven's eager face as they stood in front of the warp pad together.

"Steven, you just asked that five minutes ago." 

"Yeah, but you said she'd be here any minute," Steven answered. "You didn't say how many minutes."

Garnet and Amethyst traded amused looks from their spots on the couch, and Greg laughed from his seat at the table.

"Can't argue with that logic." the man commented.

Pearl sighed. "She'll be here-"

The familiar chime of the warp pad interrupted her, a quick flash of light illuminated Steven's starry-eyed expression as he grinned widely.

Bismuth stood on the platform, hands on her hips in a confident pose that was entirely at odds with her nervous smile.

"Uh, hey, everybody." She greeted the room, loud and friendly, but eyes only on Steven. "Hope you haven't been waiting long."

"Only my whole life!" Steven shouted, rushing to meet her as she stepped forward.

"Oh my gosh, you're so big! And strong! and you have a tattoo!" He looked back at the others. "Can I have a tattoo?!"

There was a chorus of 'no's' from the group, except Amethyst, who replied with an enthusiastic 'Yeah! Let's do it!'.

Bismuth let out a deep rich laugh that had the boy grinning back up at her.

"I'm so glad you're here!" Steven told the gem, bouncing on his tiptoes. "Pearl told me so many great things about you!"

"Oh, is that so?" Bismuth asked, a light blush on her face.

"Yeah! About how brave and strong and kind and-Mmmph."

Pearl darted forward to cover Steven's mouth with her hand.

"Okay, Steven. That's quite enough." She laughed nervously as she looked up at Bismuth, "Kids? Am I right?"

Steven managed to pull Pearl's hands away from his mouth, darting glances between the two embarrassed gems before him in confusion.

"Sounds like I have quite a reputation to live up to." Bismuth replied, bending down on one knee to get closer to Steven's height. "It's nice to see you again, Kid."

Steven grinned, reaching to shake her hand. The moment felt strangely familiar to him.

"We're sorry this isn't strictly a social visit." Pearl apologized. "But well.."

She looked behind her towards the front of the house.

"Hey, it's no problem at..." Bismuth's words trailed off as she caught sight of the makeshift repairs the gems had done. "..All."

"What the heck!?" She grabbed her head as she rushed to get a closer look. "Duct tape? Staples? and is that...a bandaid??"

"Hey! We were short on supplies, okay?" Amethyst spoke up from the couch in defense.

"Not our finest work," Garnet admitted.

"Do you think you can fix it?" Steven asked, frowning as he stepped up next to her.

"Can I fix it?" Bismuth chuckled, "Do you know who you're talking to?"

"Um, not really," Steven admitted.

"Oh, uh, right." Bismuth looked embarrassed for a moment but recovered. "Well, let me tell you. There isn't anything in this galaxy or the next that this gem can't fix."

She emphasized her point by shapeshifting her hand into a hammer, and Steven stared up at her in awe.

"So cool!" he whispered.

"I've even drawn up some plans," The larger gem announced, using her other hand to pull a blueprint from her overall pocket.

Steven bounced next to her.

"Let me see! Let me see!"

"Now, Steven," Pearl stepped forward, "I know you're excited, but Bismuth is going to be very busy today. She's going to need space to work."

Steven's mood dampened at the reminder, shoulders slumping.

"Pearl's right. This will be a lot of work." Bismuth spoke, crossing her arms. "I'm probably gonna need an assistant." She gave Steven a sideways glance. "I don't suppose you know anyone who'd be up for the job?"

Steven brightened immediately.

"Oh! Me!" He raised his hand. "I can help!"

Bismuth laughed.

"I knew I could count on you." She bent down, lowering her voice. "We can get these three to do all the heavy lifting, yeah?" She gestured towards the other gems while she winked at him, making Steven grin.

The next few hours went by quickly. Despite the other gems coming and going to bring supplies and tools, there was always at least one other person in the room with Bismuth and Steven at all times. Steven didn't notice or question this, completely enthralled with the newer gem.

She was everything Pearl had said. Even with how much work there seemed to be, Bismuth still took the time to explain to Steven how each tool worked. She patiently guided him through simple repairs, making him feel appreciated and useful. She laughed and joked and ruffled his hair as the others would. Her presence felt comforting and familiar.

"I can't believe how much progress you've made," Pearl praised, admiring the finished framework. "It looks amazing."

"Couldn't have done it without my assistant." Bismuth replied, hand coming to rest on the boys head. "Kid catches on quick."

"That's just cause I had such a great teacher," Steven complimented back. "Too bad dad wouldn't let me use the blow torch."

"Yes, that is a shame," Pearl said, not sounding the least bit sorry.

"Where is dad?" Steven asked.

"He's meeting with the delivery truck down by the beach. He had to custom order the glass. " Pearl answered, stepping over the wood frame where the door was going to go. "Garnet and Ameythst are supposed to be bringing the last of the supplies from little homeworld so-oh."

She frowned as she looked down from the porch, and Steven and Bismuth joined her to see what was wrong.

There was indeed a delivery truck, wheels spinning uselessly in the sand as Greg pushed from behind.

Pearl sighed.

"I suppose I should go help." She hesitated, glancing at Steven and Bismuth. "Just..stay here where I can see you, and I'll be right back."

Steven gave her a funny look at the request but nodded, and Bismuth waved her off with a smile as Pearl quickly descended the steps.

"Pearl sure is acting strange," Steven commented. "Maybe it's a future thing?"

Bismuth chuckled.

"I think it's just a Pearl thing." She commented, although her tone was kind. "She can't help but worry."

Steven could see Pearl looking back up at him again, and he waved.

"You've known Pearl a long time, huh?" Steven asked curiously.

"That's right." Bismuth replied, arms resting on the porch railing as she stared down at the beach, a small smile on her face.

"So, you must have known my mom too."

Bismuth tensed, her smile becoming strained at Steven's seemingly innocent comment. She nodded stiffly, refusing to meet his gaze.

"That's right."

The same words as before, but the warmth was missing.

Steven frowned, opening his mouth to ask her what was wrong when-

_**"But I didn't just disappear, did I?!"** _

_**She grabs him by his shirt, lifting him off the ground. Her voice is full of hatred and accusation.** _

_**"You know what happened to me!!"** _

His breath catches in his throat, and Bismuth is turning to look at him, brow furrowed.

"Steven?"

He blinks hard, trying to rationalize the quick flash of memory.

"I-I'm-"

_**"I'm not my mom! I don't know what she did, but I'm sure she didn't want to hurt you."** _

_**"It's too late." Bismuth rages. "I don't believe you anymore!"** _

_**She advances, her intentions clear. Heart pounding, Steven creates another bubble, straining to add the spikes that send Bismuth jumping out of the way.** _

_**He's in trouble. He needs help.** _

"Steven?!"

Stevens' breath falters; cold panic grips his heart and fills up his chest when he sees her reaching toward him.

He doesn't register her concerned expression, not when all he can remember is hooded eyes and hatred.

"D-don't!" He cries out and stumbles back, tripping on the door's frame and hitting the floor hard.

He clenches his eyes shut as pain flares in his back. It-

_**It hurts! He grits his teeth against the pain, the weight of the statue has him pinned, and it's hard to breathe. He can't breathe!** _

He can't breathe! He's dizzy, and his vision blurs, but Bismuth is still there, so he needs to move. He needs to get away.

_**"Go ahead!" she shouts, "Just DO IT!!** _

_**The weapon feels heavy in his hands, even as Bismuth forces him to aim it at her chest- at her gem.** _

_**"No!" there are tears in his eyes.** _

_**He doesn't want this. He doesn't want to hurt anyone.** _

_**"Even if we don't agree, nobody deserves this...!"** _

"Steven?!"

Another voice. Not Bismuth, but Pearl.

He squints his eyes open, fighting against the dizziness and sees only pink. He's...he's in his bubble.

"Steven, Please!"

Pearl's hands are pressed against the barrier between them. She looks scared and worried. He doesn't know where Bismuth is.

_**She yanks the weapon out of Steven's hands, causing him to stumble backward. His foot connects with the sword that's on the ground- his mother's sword.** _

_**Bismuth charges, weapon at the ready and-** _ _**'she's going to shatter me!'** _

_**he panics, drawing the sword, and the two weapons clash.** _

His heart is beating so loud and fast against his chest that it physically hurts. His head is swimming, and he's so so tired. The bubble surrounding him begins to disappear.

_**His foot is burning against the heat of the floor, but he doesn't care. He can only see Bismuth standing stunned in front of him, his mother's sword through her torso. Her face twists in anguish that's more than physical.** _

_**"You should've shattered me back then..." she murmurs, " At least if I were in pieces, I wouldn't have to know how little I mattered to you...," Bismuth's voice wavers and tears gather in her eyes. "You didn't even tell 'em...! " She looks at him, heartbroken, "You bubbled me away and didn't ever tell your friends... My friends..."** _

_**There are tears in Steven's eyes as well; his heart feels heavy with guilt.** _

_**"I'm going to tell them," He promises. "I'm gonna tell them everything."** _

Someone is holding him, petting his hair, and wiping the tears from his cheeks, and murmuring comforting words that seem to blend into one another.

It takes more effort than it should to lift his head, and even that small movement makes the room spin around him. He blinks and tries to focus on Pearl's worried light blue eyes.

"..Pearl?" His voice is barely more than a whisper.

She's speaking, but he can't make out the words. Exhaustion is pulling him under. His eyes slip close, and his body goes limp, but his mind offers up one last memory.

_**"Then you really are better than her."** _


	9. A Time For Talking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Lots of dialogue in this chapter, but you should be getting used to that from me lol. Enjoy!

Things had been going so well. Too well. Bismuth should have known it wouldn't last. She'd let her guard down, they all had. Of course, the very first moment she was alone with Steven, it all went wrong. Wasn't that just how things worked?

Just one mention of Rose and the remembered pain had her tight-lipped and on edge. She'd tried not to let it show, tried to answer as nonchalantly as possible, already scrambling to think of ways to change the subject. There was no time. Steven took in a shaky, almost gasping breath beside her and dread pooled in her stomach when she turned to look at him.

His eyes, no longer bright and shining with curiosity and admiration, were vacant and scared.

"Steven?"

Her voice came out hesitant, but the boy seemed to hear her at least. His head tilted up, and his brow furrowed in confusion, mouth opening to answer.

"I-I'm-"

In the next moment, that awareness faded. His face paled, and his breathing picked up, and he took an involuntary step back, swaying dangerously.

"Steven?!"

She reached out, alarmed, hoping to help steady him, but he flinched as if she'd struck him.

"D-don't!" He cried out, terrified, and stumbled back.

The back of his heel hit the doorframe and sent him falling on his back; his eyes shut tight against pain, both real and remembered. Bismuth rushed to try and help, but her very touch had him clambering away, eyes wide but unseeing. He was terrified, and she....she was making it _worse_.

She held her hands up as if in surrender and took a cautious step back.

"Steven?!" Pearl had arrived, having sprinted up the hill the moment Steven had disappeared from her sight.

The panic and dread Bismuth felt was mirrored in her blue eyes when she spotted him.

Steven had managed to back himself against the living room couch. He shut his eyes tight again, breathing fast and whimpering, hands clutching his head.

"Steven, what's wrong?!"

The pale gem darted forward while the boy let out a strangled cry of "No!" and a pink bubble rose up around him, sealing him inside and effectively blocking Pearl out.

"Steven?!"

She called out to him again, pressing her hands against the barrier between them.

"Steven, please!"

Miraculously the boy squinted in her direction, but the fear and confusion kept rising like the tides to sweep him under, and once again, he seemed to be somewhere far from their reach.

He struggled to breathe through his panic, and the effort to sustain the forcefield around him became too much.

Pearl was on her knees in front of the boy the moment the bubble was gone. She grabbed his shoulders to keep him upright, but Steven made a weak attempt to pull away in distress. There were tears in his eyes now, and he was making small, scared sounds in his throat.

"Steven, it's me. It's Pearl." She'd lowered her voice, trying to soothe him as she pulled him against her. "You're safe. it's okay."

She wiped the tears from his face and ran her hand tenderly through his curls and whispered words of reassurance until his breathing was calmer.

Steven struggled to lift his head, expression dazed, and exhausted.

"..Pearl."

His voice was no more than an exhale of air.

"That's right. You're okay."

Pearl had barely spoken those words before the boy's eyes rolled back and he slumped against her, entirely spent.

Greg had only just made it to the porch, bracing himself with the doorframe as he caught his breath, his expression pained as he took in the scene.

Bismuth was surprised to see that Garnet and Amethyst were there as well. She'd been so focused on Steven that she hadn't even noticed them warp in. They stood just to the other side of the table, as helpless and worried as any of them.

"Pearl?" Greg took a few steps into the house and stopped. "Is..is he okay?"

Pearl didn't answer, curling around Steven protectively.

"He expended too much energy creating that bubble," Garnet replied. "His younger body isn't as well adjusted to using his powers."

"Yeah, and the fact that he couldn't freakin' breathe!" Amethyst added, managing to sound both angry and worried. "What was that even about?!"

Bismuth felt ill.

"Guys, I-"

"You should go."

Pearl's quiet command made Bismuth flinch and go silent.

Garnet seemed surprised by her words, and Amethyst's face twisted in sympathy.

"Yo, P, it's not her fault-"

"No." Bismuth interrupted voice even. "Pearl's right. I should leave."

From the corner of her eye, she saw Greg raise a hand to offer her comfort. Bismuth had no idea why the man would do so, but she quickly moved beyond his reach.

"The blueprints are on the table." She stated tonelessly. "Shouldn't be too hard to figure out the rest yourselves."

With those words, she began retreating to the warp pad, intent to leave before she did any further damage. As she stepped on the platform, she dared to glance up one more time.

Steven looked so small curled up in Pearl's arms, and Bismuth felt her throat tighten. The warp pad activated before she recovered enough to apologize.

Arriving back at little homeworld felt like returning home from a lost battle. She'd barely taken a few steps before Peridot's voice called from behind; she and Lapis were jogging to catch up to her.

"You're back!" The smaller gem exclaimed. "How'd it go?"

Bismuth stopped in her tracks, back still turned towards them.

Lapis seemed to be the only one who caught on to her dark mood.

"You okay?" She asked.

"I blew it."

With that said, she started forwards again.

"What? what do you m-"

"Don't," Lapis's hand shot out to block Peridot from following. "She needs space."

Peridot looked back and forth between Lapis and their retreating friend and seemed to understand.

Her gaze became somber.

"Oh."

\--------------------

The dull throb of a headache behind his closed eyelids was the first sensation that greeted Steven. He groaned softly, shifting under the comforter's weight and turning his head towards a cool spot on his pillow.

"Steven?" He felt a tentative touch on his shoulder, a familiar voice near his ear. "Come on, Kiddo, wake up for me?"

He made a small sound of protest even as he tried to comply, eyes struggling open and squinting in the soft light of the room.

"Dad?" His voice was groggy from sleep.

His father's blurry features finally came into focus, as did the row of worried faces behind him.

"Guys?"

He moved to sit up, and the sudden change in position caused his headache to spike. He winced and brought a hand to his head.

"Ow."

Pearl darted forward.

"Steven? What's wrong?" She hovered anxiously. "Are you in pain?"

"My head hurts." He confessed, lowering his hand as he yawned. "I must have overslept."

His words didn't seem to ease the pale gem's distress.

"How bad is it? Do you feel dizzy? Are you sick?" She gently grabbed steven's face, staring into his eyes as if she were deciphering a code. "You're not overly warm. Perhaps we should call Dr.Maheswaran to be sure."

"Peeearl," Steven whined, face scrunched up and trying to pull away.

"Uh, maybe give him a moment to get his bearings," Greg suggested, coming to his son's rescue. "He did just wake up."

"Yeah, P." Amethyst chided. "Give him some space."

"Oh, yes, of course!" Pearl laughed nervously and stepped back.

Steven rubbed the last bit of sleep from his eye.

"Why are you all in my room?" He asked, then gasped softly. "Did we have a slumber party?"

Steven watched them all exchange confused and concerned glances.

"Uh, Steven," His dad ventured, looking uneasy. "What's the last thing you remember?"

Steven thought.

"We were waiting for-"

Bismuth.

"Oh."

His expression fell, color draining from his face as the day came rushing back to him.

"Hey, hey, it's okay," His dad placed a hand over his. "We're right here, schtu-ball."

The words and touch grounded him; he felt himself relax. He wondered how long he'd been-

"You've been asleep for approximately sixteen hours and twenty-three minutes," Garnet informed him.

"It's morning now," Pearl added. "We were starting to get worried."

Amethyst scoffed. "Starting to?"

"We were distraught." Pearl corrected primly.

Steven felt his dad squeeze his hand, distracting him from the apology he was about to make.

"Do you think you can tell us what happened?" He asked gingerly.

Steven winced, staring down at the covers.

"I, um, remembered something," he confessed quietly, frowning. "It wasn't a good something, though."

His dad was already seated on the bed, but the others moved to occupy the remaining space. Amethyst hopped up to sit cross-legged in front of Steven, while Pearl moved to the other side to sit next to him. Garnet perched on the spot between the two gems, one leg entirely on the bed.

She reached to lay her hand on his shoulder.

"We're here to listen." 

Steven looked at the open, supportive faces surrounding him and felt a little braver.

"It was about Bismuth," He started, managing to sound calm. "I'm not sure where we were, but it was super hot, like an oven. She picked me up and was yelling. She was really angry with me."

He thought about the memories, not as sharp or overwhelming as before, but still upsetting.

**_'I'm not my mom!'_ **

"She thought I was mom." He confessed. "She wanted to..."

Steven stopped, worriedly biting his lip.

"Take your time," Garnet encouraged.

He nodded, taking a deep breath.

"She wanted to shatter me."

The gems looked pained, but not surprised at the admission. Greg made a distressed sound beside him.

"We fought, and I-" Steven's voice broke, unable to remain composed. "I stabbed her!" he covered his face with his hands. "It went right through! It was awful!"

His father pulled him into a hug, and Steven turned to bury his face into his dad's side, hiding his tears. His hands grabbed at the fabric of the man's shirt, holding tight.

"She..she said she wished mom had shattered her back then. She tried to get me to shatter her too." His voice was muffled and choked. "She was so sad, and I- I didn't mean to hurt her!"

"Oh, Steven," Pearl sighed. "That wasn't your fault."

"Dude, she was gonna mess you up!" Amethyst argued. "You had to fight back!"

"She left you no choice," Garnet replied, calm and practical.

"I-I know," Steven sniffed, pulling back to wipe at his eyes, "But it still felt awful. It was like I was there again. I was so scared."

His dad rubbed his arm comfortingly.

"I'm so sorry, kiddo." He whispered.

"You should never have had to go through that," Pearl's voice was full of regret and sorrow. "Especially not twice."

Steven didn't reply, thoughts scattered. The memories still felt disconnected. There was so much he didn't understand-

"You have questions."

Steven looked up at Garnet and nodded, he wondered if she could read minds.

"We weren't there when you faced Bismuth, and for that, I am truly sorry," The fusions declared. "But we can tell you what happened before, and after."

"I wouldn't mind hearing the whole story myself," Greg replied, his voice tense.

His words made the gems look away, but Steven just tilted his head up at the man.

"Really?" He asked, surprised. "But, gem stuff makes you so uncomfortable."

It was Greg's turn to look ashamed.

"This isn't just gem stuff, Steven, this is your life," He met his son's gaze apologetically, "I should never have tried to keep myself separate from it. I'm your dad, and I'm supposed to be there for you no matter what. From now on, I want you to be able to come to me with anything."

Steven's eyes were shining with gratitude, and Greg tried to hide how much it grieved him; he should have told his son this years ago. He should never have needed to say it all.

"So!" Amethyst clapped her hands together. "We doing storytime or what?"

Steven grinned, it lacked its usual enthusiasm, but it was genuine.

"Yeah! Storytime!"

"Allow me," Pearl cleared her throat, "I believe it was on a Tuesday-"

"Ugh, you're going to make it all boring," Amethyst groaned. "Here's how it went down, little man. There I was, totally killing it at this video game-"

"Amethyst, that's not even relevant." Pearl protested.

"And knowing it was on a Tuesday is?" Amethyst counter.

"Enough you two." Garnet calmly silenced them. "I'm telling the story. Also, it was Wednesday."

Steven giggled, and Greg felt himself smile as the boy moved to sit in his lap. He wrapped his arms around Steven and rested his chin on his son's curly head. Steven beamed up at him as Garnet launched into the tale.

It was not without interruptions, especially when Steven gasped 'I can go inside Lion's mane?!' and the gems had to explain that the pink feline had belonged to Rose.

As the story progressed, Greg found himself trying to pull Steven closer. When Garnet mentioned Bismuth and Steven had gone missing, assuming they were safe in each other's company, Greg knew he was frowning in disapproval. He looked down to catch Steven's reaction, but the boy hardly seemed bothered at all.

The only time his son did seem upset was by the end. Garnet described how he had warped in, battered from the fight, limping, and holding Bismuth's bubbled gem. Garnet had carried him to the couch, and Pearl had fussed over his injuries. Together they'd listened as Steven told them what had happened. The truth about Bismuth's disappearance, her weapon, mistaking him for Rose,....everything.

"We couldn't take the risk of her hurting you again." Garnet finished. "We left her bubbled with the other gems."

Things were silent for several moments.

"But, she's not bubbled anymore," Steven stated, confused. "And she doesn't seem angry at me now." He thought over the time they'd spent together. "She was really nice."

"That's because of you, dude!" Amethyst grinned, eager to try to lighten the mood. "You let her out and talked to her, and BAM! The next thing we know, you two are holding hands and junk."

Those words should have had him beaming with pride, but Steven's thoughts were elsewhere. He was glad Bismuth wasn't bubbled anymore, and he was happy they were all friends, but-

His dad's arms squeezed him briefly.

"You okay, schtu-ball?" 

"If you have any more questions, we'll do our best to answer," Pearl assured him.

"Or if you, like, just wanna tell us how your feeling?" Amethyst added.

"Or what you're thinking." Garnet finished.

Steven glanced between them as he leaned back into his dad's embrace; his mouth felt dry. 

"She lied."

Steven could feel the other's confusion.

"Mom." He clarified, looking up at Pearl and Garnet. "She lied to you both."

Garnet's expression was hard to read, but Pearl's mouth turned down, and her eyes looked away.

Steven was glad his mom hadn't used the weapon, and he even understood her having to fight Bismuth, but-

Keeping her bubbled? Never telling Garnet and Pearl the truth? That didn't seem fair, not to them, and not to Bismuth either.

"Why would she do that?"

Steven wasn't sure why- after everything he remembered- this was what bothered him. He didn't know why it made him feel angry. He didn't understand why it made him want to cry. The confusing mix of emotions churned unpleasantly in his stomach. 

Finally, Pearl responded, her voice soft.

"I don't know."

And it was not the answer he wanted.

It didn't line up with anything he knew about his mother. She was supposed to be kind, and compassionate, and...and-

**_"You're a liar!"_ **

Those words echoed in his head, in his voice.

"Your mother kept many secrets." Garnet supplied.

It wasn't an explanation nor an excuse.

Was it any wonder that Bismuth had been so angry.

Bismuth.

Steven sat up.

"Where's Bismuth?" 

"She's gone back to little homeworld," Pearl answered, her voice low and soothing as if he might break. "You don't have to be afraid."

Steven frowned, confused.

"Why would I be afraid?"

They all looked thrown by the question.

"Um, because you remember her trying to wreck you?" Amethyst answered incredulously.

"But that was a long time ago," Steven replied, completely unconcerned. "I know she wouldn't hurt me now. We're friends."

"Steven, you-" Pearl hesitated. "You yelled when she tried to touch you. You kept trying to get away."

Steven blushed, clearly embarrassed.

"I didn't mean to. I was just confused." He looked into Pearl's eyes, worriedly, "Do you think I hurt her feelings? Is that why she left?"

"You're...worried you hurt her feelings," Pearl repeated, voice hushed.

"Oh, man," Amethyst laughed, shaking her head. "That is so...you!"

"Huh?" Steven tilted his head.

"It's nothing," the smile on Garnet's face was warm. "Your compassion and capacity for forgiveness still astound us."

He blushed for an entirely different reason.

"I'm sure Bismuth is fine," Pearl said, drawing back into herself. "Either way, it's not something you should worry yourself about."

Steven wasn't sure what to think of her easy dismissal. He wanted to press for details and ask when Bismuth would be back, but he was interrupted by a loud rumbling from his stomach.

"Oh, wow," His dad chuckled. "Sounds like you got an angry bear in there, kiddo."

Steven grinned, twisting his head to try and look back at his dad.

"He's not angry; he's just hungry." He defended, looking back down as he grabbed at his belly. "Isn't that right, buddy?"

His stomach gurgled in reply, making steven laugh, but sending Pearl into a slight panic.

"Oh, Stars. You must be starving. You didn't even have lunch yesterday!"

The thin gem was already pledging to make him a feast, but Garnet reasoned that sandwiches would be a much quicker solution.

"Sound good to you, schtu-ball?" His dad asked.

His stomach rumbled again.

"The bear says, yes!" Steven declared, and the others chuckled.

They all moved to get off the bed, his dad picking him up from his lap and setting him on the floor. Steven still wanted to ask about Bismuth, but maybe the conversation would be better received after his belly was full, and they all had time to relax.

He was sure it would all work out. Bismuth would probably be back by tomorrow, helping to finish the repairs, and making jokes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It occurred to me as I was posting this, chapter 9, that this could potentially be a very long story. I mean, I still haven't quite resolved the Bismuth situation and this is only the tip of the iceberg as far as traumatic memories go. To be fair, Steven holds no resentment towards Bismuth; in typical Steven fashion, he's more concerned with her feelings than his own, but at least I did have him talk about it, and it's not over yet.


	10. Catching Up With Connie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's right, this chapter is all Connie. I know you were probably expecting the Bismuth resolution, but you'll have to be patient. This was a much needed literary pallet cleanser for me.

* * *

* * *

**'We're inviting Bismuth over tomorrow.'**

The text had been sent by Pearl just before she'd gone to lay down for the night, and it instantly set Connie on edge. She knew they couldn't just keep Steven wrapped in a bubble, isolated from everyone, but it still made her uneasy. 

Connie liked Bismuth, and she knew that the gem was probably the most tactful when it came to social cues, unlike Lapis and Peridot. Honestly, she probably was the best choice to meet Steven. Connie was also aware that they needed help if they were ever going to fix the damage to the house. 

It made perfect, logical sense, but did nothing to quell the anxiety in her gut. 

She could remember the first time she'd seen Bismuth. Not the day at the wedding- when Steven had happily introduced them, and the large gem had bent over to shake her hand with a warm smile and friendly voice. 'So you're the human Connie I've heard so much about! It's an honor to meet ya.'. It had been impossible not to like Bismuth, her friendly, easy-going personality was infectious, and she'd seemed genuinely interested in hearing about Connie's sword training.

Yes, that had been the first time she'd 'met' Bismuth, but not the first time she'd seen her.

The first time she'd seen her had been as Stevonnie. Yes, it had been a figment of their imagination, brought about by Steven's guilt, but the image had been real enough. The pained look on her face, the sword through the torso, and Steven's emotions. She'd felt his fear and guilt and panic, clashing against her confusion and threatening to pull them apart.

They had talked afterward, Steven explaining in greater detail all the things that had been weighing on him. Eyeball, Jasper, Bismuth. It had been a lot. Connie had listened and held his hand, and when he'd finished, tears in his eyes, she'd hugged him. He had seemed relieved and grateful, and she'd assured him that he could always come to talk to her if he needed too.

Looking back now, Connie wondered what had happened. Hadn't they both learned that day that keeping things bottled up wasn't healthy? When had he stopped confiding in her? When had Steven decided that his problems were too big to share? Or maybe, he thought they weren't important at all? She didn't know, and it was too late to ask him now.

Connie groaned as she turned over on her side in bed. She'd been staring at the ceiling and clutching at her phone for well over an hour. She knew she should be sleeping- heck, she had school in the morning!   
With a sigh, she responded to Pearl's text with a simple.

**'keep me posted.'**

Pearl replied with a thumbs up and a smiley emoji- she really was getting into those lately.

Connie put her phone away and curled up under the covers, shutting her eyes forcefully. It was hours before she was able to drift off to sleep.

When she woke up, the first thing she did was check her phone. 

No new messages.

She shook her head. Of course, there were no messages. Steven was probably still asleep.

Connie went about her usual routine. She changed her clothes, brushed her hair and teeth, and slipped on her shoes. 

She rechecked her phone.

No new messages.

Right.

She went downstairs for breakfast, phone face up beside her bowl of cereal as she ate, and ignored her parents' concerned looks.

As she left the house, she decided to be proactive and fired off a quick text of her own.

**'How's it going?'**

_Very_ casual.

Pearl replied a moment later.

**'Waiting on Bismuth. Steven is very excited.'**

Connie smiled weakly, imagining her friend's eager face. She fervently hoped that today went off without a hitch. 

At school, Connie could hardly focus. She operated purely on autopilot, getting things from her locker, making her way to homeroom, and only halfheartedly waving to friends when they greeted her in the hall. She was miles away.

When her phone pinged not long after her first class began, Connie frantically pulled the device out of her pocket to check her texts.

' **So far, so good.'**

She felt herself breathe a sigh of relief. Her phone pinged again.

**'Steven seems very happy.'**

There was a picture sent with the text. Bismuth was crouched down beside the boy, holding up a tool, clearly explaining something. Steven looked entirely in awe of the gem. 

Another ping. Another text.

**'Don't worry. I'm keeping a close eye on them.'**

"Ms. Maheswaran," The teachers stern voice had her looking up, eyes wide like a startled deer. "You know the rules."

Connie felt a rush of embarrassment at having been caught so off guard. She'd been trained to be aware of her environment at all times. This felt like such an amateur mistake.

Her teacher's impatient stance and narrowed eyes suggested she'd been standing there for some time.

"Mrs. Walker! I-I'm so sorry, I was just-"

"No phone's allowed during class." The teacher interrupted, hand outstretched. "Hand it over, Ms. Maheswaran."

Connie immediately clutched the phone to her chest.

"NO!" 

Connie winced at the volume of her voice. She hadn't meant to yell, but losing her phone- her only connection to Steven- had caused a swell of panic in her chest.

Mrs. Walker looked stunned, dark brown eyes wide, and her perfectly arched eyebrows lifting almost to her hairline. If the class hadn't been staring before, they definitely were now. 

Mrs. Walker was the kind of strict, no-nonsense teacher that even the most unruly kids didn't dare speak back too. Connie had never yelled or raised her voice at any teacher in her entire life. These combined factors had everyone in the room turning in there seats to get a better look, some even had their own phones out recording despite the rules.

"I'm sorry!" Connie squeaked. "I didn't mean to yell, I just...I can't give you the phone."

Mrs. Walker seemed to be waiting for an explanation, arm crossed. It reminded her too much of her mom, and she felt herself shrink into her seat.

"There's a family emergency," Connie blurted. "I need to be kept informed."

She inwardly winced at the lie. Was it a lie? Steven wasn't a blood relation, but that didn't mean they weren't close. And this wasn't technically an emergency, but it had the potential to be. Did that count?

"I see." The teacher's face softened a miracle in itself. "I suppose I should have considered you had a valid reason; you're not one for breaking the rules, Connie."

First name basis. That was good. 

"Yes, Ma'am." She nodded solemnly, even as she felt her insides twist with guilt. "I promise it won't happen again."

Her teacher sighed. 

"Very well. This is your only warning."

"Thank you." Connie shoved the phone back into her pocket and ignored the disappointed noises of her classmates.

School really sucked some times.

By lunchtime, Connie had gotten better at discreetly checking her phone, but hadn't actually received a text from Pearl in the last hour. She tried to tell herself she was being silly, expecting hourly updates when they were all probably busy, but she couldn't relax.

She sent a text.

**'Everything alright?'**

By the time her study period had rolled around, another two hours later, she was a mess. She hadn't heard anything back from Pearl.

**'Haven't heard from you in a bit. Is Steven okay?'**

****

She stared at the phone hard, willing a response, but nothing happened. She couldn't take this. 

"Mr. Baker?" She raised her hand even as she spoke. "May I please be excused to the bathroom?"

The kind, plump man, had been helping another student with a problem and looked startled by her forwardness.

"Oh, yes, Ms.Mahesawaran," He replied, "Just take the hall pass and-"

"Thank you!" She was out of her seat before he could finish, and several students began snickering at her hasty treat. Connie didn't care what they thought.

Once in the bathroom, Connie locked herself in a stall and pulled out her phone, dialing.

It rang. And rang. And _rang_.

She let out a frustrated groan and dialed again.

"Pick up, pick up, pi- Pearl!" Her voice echoed in the empty bathroom.

"Oh, Connie, I'm so sorry," Pearl sounded both exhausted and frantic, "I should have messaged you but-"

"What happened?"

Pearl sighed.

"I'm afraid it didn't go quite as well as we hoped."

Connie gripped the phone tight.

"Tell me."

Pearl explained, voice heavy with guilt that she had left Steven alone with Bismuth for just a few minutes, but it had ended in disaster. Another memory. A bad one. She described how scared Steven was, how he couldn't focus or seem to hear her voice, and how he reacted to things she couldn't see. Pearl bit back a sob as she told Connie how he'd passed out in her arms, exhausted, with tears on his face and sweat-soaked curls.

"How is he now?"

Connie didn't know how her voice sounded so calm, especially with how fast her heart was beating.

"He's resting. He has been for a couple of hours now." She informed the girl. "I'm sorry I should have-"

"I'm coming over."

A beat of silence.

"Connie, you don't have to- aren't you at school?"

She huffed.

"It doesn't matter. I haven't been able to concentrate all day anyway, and it's already past two so-"

There was a muffled sound as the phone switched hands, and another voice spoke.

"Connie." 

It was Garnet.

"There's nothing you can do for Steven right now." She told the girl. "He's not likely to wake until tonight or early in the morning."

Connie felt a spark of irritation.

"Since when are your predictions reliable?" She snapped, feeling instantly guilty.

"I- I'm sorry. I'm-"

"I know." Garnet's voice sounded warmer and more personal. "I'm not upset with you, Connie. You hold me accountable, and that's something I think I need at times."

That surprised her.

"You do?"

"Yes. Steven has always been difficult to predict, and now it's nearly impossible." Garnet admitted, "I've had to keep my sight focused only on the most immediate and likely scenarios."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because the most immediate and likely scenarios are completely dependent on whether or not you leave now."

Connie bit the inside of her cheek, worriedly.

"And what do you see?"

"The school will contact your parents. You will be grounded. You will sneak out to see Steven regardless. Your future visits to the temple will be restricted or monitored." Garnet paused. "There are long-lasting repercussions that I'd rather not elaborate on."

Connie slumped against the stall and ran a hand through her hair.

"That...sounds bad," She admitted, sighing. "Thanks for telling me. I...I should get back to class."

"Thank you, Connie." Garnet sounded relieved. "I'll see you tomorrow morning."

She hung up before Connie could remind her that tomorrow was Friday.

The remaining time at school was spent thinking about how stupid and rash she was acting. Connie prided herself on being responsible, sensible, and above all, prepared. She thought things through, she planned. When it came to Steven, though, she often found her emotions ruling over her. 

That's not to say that was always a bad thing. Steven was spontaneous and goofy, and being around him brought out those qualities in herself. She loved that she could be silly around him. She liked that she could be impulsive. But this? Being ready to ditch school at the drop of a hat just to sit uselessly at his bedside? How would she have even gotten there? What would her parents have done? Well, ground her apparently. 

When the bell rang to dismiss school, Connie felt no sense of urgency spur her on. Instead, she exited the building with a despondent slump in her posture. She almost missed her dad's car when he pulled along the curb, only looking when he honked and rolled down the window.

"Dad?" She jogged to the vehicle, "What are you doing here?"

The man smiled from behind the wheel.

"Can't a dad pick up his little girl from school?" he asked innocently.

"I..guess?" 

Connie opened the door and got inside.

"Buckle up." Her dad instructed to which she immediately complied.

"So," He spoke up again as they pulled onto the main road, "How was school today?"

School had been a meaningless blur that had provided only the bare minimum of distraction from crippling anxiety over her best friends' well-being.

"It was fine," she replied, shrugging.

"Nothing interesting to report?" Her dad pried. "Maybe something you want to confess?"

Well, if that wasn't a leading question.

"What do you mean?" Connie asked, worried.

She hadn't actually ditched school, she'd only considered it. Her dad didn't have future vision so what-

"Your teacher, Mrs. Walker, called."

Oh. Oh no.

Connie was sure the guilt was plain on her face.

"She was concerned," He glanced over at her briefly. "Something about a family emergency."

Connie covered her face with her hands and groaned, slumping in the seat.

"It was about Steven." 

"I figured as much." Her dad replied easily. "Your mother and I noticed how distracted you were this morning."

Connie peeked out through her fingers.

"What did you end up saying?" she asked.

Her dad drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and hummed thoughtfully.

"I told her it was a close personal friend of the family that had recently gone through a serious of traumatic events," He replied. "The worst of which you had been a direct witness to."

Connie lowered her hands, gaping at her dad.

"I also explained that he was still recovering, and you were a direct line of support for him during this difficult time." Her dad looked over with a small smile and sympathetic eyes. "That sound about right?"

"That...sounds about right, yeah." 

To say she was stunned was an understatement.

"Listen, sweetie," Her dad's voice softened. "Your mother and I know that this is a lot on you, and frankly, we're worried."

"Dad." her tone was reproachful.

"I know, I know," her dad lamented, "My little girl can take on the world. You don't have to lecture me on how capable you are."

"But you're still worried?" Connie asked, fidgeting in her seat. "Why?"

"Because everyone has a limit." Her dad replied. "You know that first hand."

Steven, glowing pink, a good two feet taller than usual, casually confessing all the horrible things he'd done. Steven, kneeling on the living room floor, clutching his head in pain as it all came crashing down on him.

"It's not like that," Connie replied. "I know to come to you and mom if I get in over my head. I talk to you guys."

"So, you _were_ going to tell us about school today?" Her dad questioned shrewdly. "Or was it just ' _fine_ '?"

Connie winced.

Admittedly that did make her look bad. It didn't help that she used one of Steven's signature words. Were her parents right to be worried? Was she on her way to making the same mistakes as Steven? Keeping things to herself?

"I should have been honest," Connie admitted. "School today really sucked."

Her mother would have scolded her for saying that, but her dad just chuckled.

"I can imagine." He answered. "Was never a big fan of school, even on the best of days."

He looked over at her as they came to a red light.

"Is Steven alright?"

There was genuine concern in his voice.

"He remembered something today, and...it was bad." She answered. "The way Pearl described it; it wasn't like the memories he had of me."

"How so?"

"Pearl said he was reacting like it was happening all over again," Connie explained. "He couldn't hear or see Pearl. He was really scared too."

Connie was clutching the strap of her seat belt, eyes locked on the dash.

"Connie that.. that sounds like a flashback." 

"Huh?" her head jerked up to look over at him. "What do you mean?"

He was driving again, a troubled frown on his face.

"It's not something I have personal experience with," Her dad admitted, "But I've known people that have. People who've literally been to war and back."

"And they have flashbacks?" Connie asked. "Like Steven?"

"Sounds similar. Your mom would probably know more than me." Her dad shrugged. "Heck, you could probably look it up online."

Connie would definitely be doing that when she got home.

"Speaking of mom..." 

"She knows." 

Connie groaned.

"She'll be home from her shift later this evening." Her dad continued. "So expect another talk coming your way."

"Right."

They drove for a bit in silence, Connie could see their house up ahead.

"Dad?"

"Yeah, Pumpkin?"

She smiled at the nickname.

"Thanks."

Once home, Connie made a quick retreat to her room, opened her laptop, and began researching. 

'What are flashbacks?'

'Coping with Flashbacks'

'PTSD and flashbacks.'

At some point, her dad brought up some food, and she was both grateful and surprised that he allowed her to stay in her room to eat it. Taking bites as she read, and in between clicking. 

'Emotional flashbacks'

'Internal or external flashback'

'Triggers and warning signs.'

'mindfulness and grounding exercises.'

"Connie?"

"Mom," she looked up from her screen, blinking her tired eyes. "You're home already?"

"It's after seven." The woman informed her, brow creased. "Can you come downstairs? Your father and I would like to talk with you."

Connie knew it would probably be mostly her mom talking, but she nodded, closing her laptop and following after her.

When they reached the living room, she spotted her dad already on the couch, patting the seat next to him. Connie sat, hands folded in her lap, eyes down. She was keenly aware of her mother standing in front of her.

"Connie, I hope you understand this isn't just about breaking the rules at school, or even the somewhat dishonest answer you gave your teacher."

Connie looked up.

"It's not?"

"Granted, I'm not happy about either of those," Her mom pointed out. "But no."

"Is it about you guys being worried?" Connie asked. "Because I'm really sorry. I'm not trying to keep things from you two, really, I just get...stuck in my own head sometimes."

"We know how you feel about Steven." Her mom said, making her blush. "We understand why you're so worried. After what your father told me concerning Steven's memory today, I'm worried too."

"Really? Do you think it's a flashback?" She leaned forward in her seat, panicked, "Cause I've been reading online and it sounds really similar, and he might even have PTSD and-"

Her dad grabbed her fidgeting hands, and her mom crouched down in front of her.

"Take a breath." She instructed, laying a hand on her daughter's shoulder. 

Connie did. Breathing in deep and slow until she felt some measure of control.

"Sorry." 

"No apologizing." Her mom replied, her eyes much warmer than before.

"And to answer your question. It's a genuine possibility that Steven is experiencing a flashback, but I'm not the type of doctor who can correctly diagnose PTSD."

"But you think he has it, don't you?" Connie asked, sadly.

Her mother sighed.

"Yes."

Connie felt the prick of tears in her eyes. While she'd been researching, the information had just been words on a screen. She could almost make herself believe it was all for a school project. To apply the things she read to her friend, to Steven...

"It's not fair." Her voice was small, "Steven...Steven doesn't deserve this."

Her dad squeezed her hand.

"Oh Connie," Her mom reached her hand up to brush the tears on her cheeks away, but they continued to flow from her eyes.

"I don't know how to protect him from this," Connie confessed brokenly. "I'm supposed to be his...his knight."

As she started sobbing, her parent's arms came around her. She leaned into their embrace and tried to remember to breathe.

"You can still be there for him," Her mom whispered. "Having a support system can make a huge difference, sweetie."

Connie sniffed and nodded meekly. She'd read that much, but it still felt inadequate.

"Maybe Steven doesn't need you to be his knight." Her dad said, "Maybe what he needs right now is just a friend."

It was amazing the effect words could have on a person. Connie felt her tears begin to slow, and her breathing regulate.

"I can do that." 

The words were spoken mostly to herself, but she could see the approval on her parent's faces as she pulled back.

Connie wiped at her cheeks.

"Well, that was emotional," She stated with a wry grin.

Her dad chuckled.

"Do you feel better?" Her mom asked.

Connie nodded sincerely.

"Mom," She began. "I know we agreed to let me visit Steven on Saturday, but could I maybe go check on him after school tomorrow?"

"I can not believe I'm saying this, but," Her mom took a breath, and smiled weakly. "You can see him in the morning."

Connie blinked. "You mean before school?"

"We called the school," her dad answered, "You're taking a personal day. They've agreed not to hold it against your attendance record considering the circumstances and your grades."

"Are...are you serious?" She asked, looking back at her mom, eyes wide. "You're actually letting me _miss_ school? On _purpose_?"

"Do you think you'd get any work done if you did attend tomorrow?" her mom asked critically.

Connie replied immediately.

"Absolutely not."

The woman sighed.

"We figured as much." 

"Most of your teachers can email you the work you missed," Her dad continued, "And anything else you can get from your friends."

"You guys..," She felt like she might cry again. "You guys are the best!"

She found herself rushing to hug her mom and then her dad.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

After all the hugs and tears, Connie felt drained. The restlessness from the night before and the stress of the day ensured that she was exhausted by the time she got into bed. Knowing she would get to Steven tomorrow also eased her mind and heart, and Connie's eyes shut the moment her head hit the pillow.

A smile tugged at her lips when she remembered Garnet's words from earlier.

_"I'll see you tomorrow morning."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there it is. I know I'm throwing some pretty heavy-handed stuff your way, but from the very beginning, I planned on many (not all) of Steven's memories to manifest themselves as Flashbacks. This chapter was a good way to introduce the concept to you guys. Also, it was weirdly easy for me to write...it just flowed. I'm going through a bit of a personal slump right now and didn't expect to have another chapter up so soon so..yah me.


	11. Chapter 11

It was apparent to Steven that yesterday's incident had everyone on edge. All morning they had been shooting him worried glances and asking questions. Did his head still hurt? Was he tired? Can they get anything for him? Did he want to talk more about what happened?

It felt strange to be the object of such intense focus. Steven was torn between enjoying the attention and care of his family and simultaneously wanting to disappear. Blushing only caused Pearl to start fretting over an imagined fever, and that certainly didn't help matters.

Luckily his dad seemed to recognize his discomfort and acted as a buffer against the gems scrutiny. He jokingly pointed out how they'd been staring, nudging Steven's arm as he said 'not used to eating with an audience,' which made the boy crack a grin. After that, the gems made a conscious effort to be less overbearing-or in Pearl's case, less obvious- and Steven shot his dad a grateful look as he bit into his sandwich without judgment.

As they finished their meal, the older man raised a hand to stifle a yawn- the third one in the last half hour- and sheepishly admitted that he hadn't slept much the night before.

A weight settled in Steven's stomach.

"Because of me." He muttered in a low voice.

"Hey now," Greg lowered his own voice as he leaned down. "Don't go feeling all guilty on me, schtu-ball." he gently admonished. "One night of missed sleep isn't gonna do me in."

"But sleep is super important," Steven countered, "Especially when you're really old."

Greg winced at the innocent remark that served to remind him of his age, and Amethyst snorted.

"Yeah, grampa." she snickered. "Go catch some Z's."

"We can always get you if anything happens." Pearl reminded him.

Greg opened his mouth to protest but was cut off by Amethyst pounding her fists on the table and chanting. 

"Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep."

Steven grinned and quickly copied her antics.

"Sleep. Sleep. Slee-"

"Okay, okay, I'm going." Greg threw his hand up in surrender, chuckling good-naturedly. "You win."

Steven cheered as he and Amethyst high fived each other.

"I'll catch up with you later, kiddo." Greg ruffled his son's hair. "Take it easy today, alright? Love you."

"Love you too, dad." 

After he left, Steven threw his arms out and announced that he would be taking a shower. After sleeping for so long in his rumpled, sweaty clothes, he was eager to feel clean and refreshed. Pearl insisted he change into pajama's so that he'd be more comfortable, and although that seemed like an odd choice to start off the day, Steven agreed.

Afterward, Amethyst had pulled Steven over to the couch to show off the apps on her phone, and Garnet and Pearl had started looking over the blueprints on the table. 

"This looks simple enough." Pearl gestured vaguely. " Most of the structural work is already complete. We may have this done by evening."

The fusion looked less than convinced, arms crossed.

"Not likely."

Pearl's smile wilted, but she squared her shoulders.

"Well, we can work through the night if need be." 

Steven poked his head up, having overheard, and deciding to make a suggestion of his own.

"I know who could help make things go faster."

Despite his light tone, Pearl's shoulders hunched, and her lips thinned.

"We do not need Bismuth's help." 

Steven slumped, his bottom lip jutting out in a small pout.

"Aw, why not?"

"Steven," Garnet spoke. "I know you mean well, but the memories you recovered are still very new. We don't want to chance another..episode."

Heat flooded the boys' face at the reminder.

"Can I help you finish fixing the house?" His voice rose hopefully, eyes wide and rounded. "I'm really handy with a screwdriver now."

Pearl's expression softened as she looked up.

"That's very sweet of you, Steven." Her voice was soft and kind. "But I think it's better if you just rest and take it easy today."

Steven slumped back into the couch, brow furrowed. 

"But, I've been asleep since yesterday," he muttered to himself.

Amethyst nudged him with an elbow.

"Dude, you just got a get-out-of-work-free card," The gem pointed out. "Ya gotta take advantage of these things."

"But I like helping."

Steven wasn't sure why that made Amethyst look sad.

"Yeah, I know." She admitted, a small smile on her face. "But you're helping plenty by just sittin' here."

Steven gave her a skeptical look, to which Amethyst laughed.

"Seriously," She insisted. "You know how Pearl overreacts. As long as you're taking it easy, she will be too."

Steven thought about how worked up Pearl had been all morning. Out of everyone, she seemed to be the most concerned over him. She'd even lingered outside the bathroom door while he was showering to ask if everything was okay. If sitting on the couch, doing nothing helped make her feel better, than Steven could do that.

"Okay." He nodded. "I guess that makes sense."

"Plus, you're helping me too," Amethyst said.

"I am?" 

Steven looked over just as Amethyst pulled him into a headlock.

"You're _my_ get-out-of-work-free card," She announced, rubbing his head "We both get to be lazy bums!"

Steven laughed and squirmed, missing the appreciative glances Pearl and Garnet sent their way.

\-----------------------

**'Steven's awake. We talked things over. He seems in much better spirits.'**

**'Having sandwiches for breakfast.'**

**'Garnet says you'll be by later this morning. Steven will be so surprised to see you.'**

By the time her mom dropped her off on the beach, Connie was a bundle of nervous energy. The texts she'd received from Pearl had been encouraging, but she knew that she couldn't fully relax until she saw Steven for herself. She practically sprinted up the hill and took the steps up to the porch two at a time. 

Connie couldn't help but pause when she reached the top, surprised at how much of the house had been restored. Garnet and Pearl had just finished installing the door, screen and all, and smiled when they spotted her. As Connie approached, ready to greet them, Pearl brought a finger to her lips and looked behind her. 

Connie leaned over to look around the door, the rest of the structure nothing but framing, and spotted Steven on the couch with Amethyst. Seeing him there, whole and unharmed and if anything looking rather bored, made Connie's legs weak with relief. She felt like she'd been holding her breath since yesterday and finally got her first taste of fresh air. 

Connie stepped inside, a smile forming on her face. Steven had his legs pulled up on the couch, elbow on one knee, and his chin resting on his palm. He was clad in his yellow pajamas, his dark brown hair looked damp. Amethyst spotted her first and smirked.

"Better finish boarding that up, you guys," She called teasingly, "You're letting strays in."

Any other time she'd have probably stuck her tongue out at the gem or playfully rolled her eyes, but her attention was entirely devoted to the boy beside her. Steven's brow furrowed at Amethyst's remark, head lifting from his palm to turn and look. 

His eyes lit up, and the grin that blossomed on his face was so broad that Connie wondered if it hurt.

"Connie!" Steven cried out in excitement, almost tripping over himself to get off the couch.

Connie laughed as the boy came racing towards her.

"Steven!" 

She let her messenger bag slip off her shoulder to the floor, bending over just as Steven's arms came around her middle to embrace her. Connie wrapped her own arms around his shoulders and squeezed tight.

"I can't believe you're here!" Steven gushed as he pulled back. "I didn't think you were coming till tomorrow!" he looked over at Garnet and Pearl with concern, "I was just asleep for that one day, right?"

"Sixteen hours and twenty-three minutes." Garnet recited.

Steven tilted his head back up at Connie.

"What about school?" He asked with wide-eyed confusion. "I thought you said you had to go for five days."

"Well, normally, I do." Connie agreed, "But I really wanted to see you sooo... I'm taking the day off."

Steven's eyes were wide and faint blush had spread across his cheeks. 

"I didn't know you could do that." 

Connie rubbed the back of her neck with a blush of her own.

"Well, it's not something I can make a habit of, but yeah." She shrugged one shoulder. "Besides, I was worried about you."

The smile of Steven's face faded, his shoulders hunched.

"Oh." he took a step back, a hand gripping his elbow. "So you, uh, know about what happened?"

His reaction surprised Connie.

"Pearl told me." She replied, a small crease between her brows. 

Steven's eyes darted towards the gems and then away again, focusing on the floor by her feet, his face flushed. When she glanced up, Connie noticed they had everyone's full attention.

Oh.

"Why don't we go up to your room?" She suggested casually, "We can hang out, just the two of us."

Steven lifted his gaze, a smile returning to his face as his posture relaxed.

"Yeah, that'd be cool. Oh!" His voice gained volume. "We can watch Dogcopter 3!"

Connie chuckled as she pulled her bag off the floor and over her shoulder.

"Sounds like a plan," She grinned suddenly, eyebrows lifting. "Race you to the top?" 

Steven's eyes sparkled, and his smile stretched.

"Yeah, let's-"

"No, no! no racing!" Pearl stepped forward, waving her hands, a strained smile on her face. "We wouldn't want to risk falling and injuring ourselves on the stairway."

Connie raised a brow incredulously before looking back at Steven. 

His expression pinched, shoulders drawn up to his ears.

"Peearl," He whined, looking and sounding even younger.

"Steven, most accidents occur in the home." Pearl recited, oblivious to the boy's discomfort. "I just want you to be safe."

Amethyst scoffed from her spot on the couch.

"Why dontcha cover him in bubble wrap already," She grumbled sarcastically.

"Amethyst, that's ridiculous....although," Pearl brought a finger to her chin thoughtfully. "We could-"

Garnet's hand on her shoulder stopped her from continuing.

"Not a good idea." She spoke pointedly, "Also, you're messing with Steven's funky flow."

Steven covered his face with one hand and groaned.

"Okay, then!" Connie's voice rose as she placed her hands on the back of Stevens's shoulders and steered him in the direction of the stairs. "We're leaving now! Nice and slow, up the stairs!"

Steven shot her a grateful look over his shoulder.

When they turned that first corner out of sight, Connie grabbed Steven's wrist and darted the rest of the way up into his room. She released her hold once they were inside and turned to face him.

"Well, that was interesting." She lifted an eyebrow. "Has Pearl been like that all morning?"

Steven nodded, the corners of his mouth turning down.

"Pretty much," he admitted. "She even tried to follow me into the bathroom."

Connie brought a hand to her mouth to try and stifle her laughter.

"It's not funny, Connie!" Steven cried, throwing an arm out dramatically. "She stood outside the door the whole time!"

"I'm sorry," Connie tried to curb her smile. "I know that must have been annoying."

Steven sighed, coming to sit on the end of his bed.

"I know she's just worried about me." He stared down at his lap, hands clasped. "Everyone is." his chest tightened. "I didn't mean to scare you guys."

"Steven.." Connie's voice was soft and reproachful as she came to sit beside him on the bed. "None of this is your fault. You know that, right?"

Steven continued to stare down, his silence all the answer Connie needed.

"You didn't have any control over what happened yesterday." 

She hoped her words would help dissolve him of any unwarranted guilt, but it seemed to do the opposite.

"That's exactly the problem!" His voice was suddenly high, words rushing out of him. "I didn't have any control at all! I just completely freaked out!" He gestured frantically,"And now Dad's losing sleep, and you're missing school, and the gems won't let me help, and Bismuth is gone, and- and-"

Connie grabbed his arms, stilling his movements. Her heart was beating fast as she tried to remember what she'd read to help him.

"Steven." Her voice was low and calm. "Look at me."

His brown eyes were wide and glossy, but as she tightened her grip reassuringly, they slowly began to focus on her.

"It's okay, I promise." She moved her hands up and down his arms. "We're in your room, and everything's okay."

Slowly Steven's frantic breathing evened out, but his eyes glistened with confused tears. She moved to grab each of his hands, squeezing.

"Are you with me again?" She asked, voice still hushed.

He gave her hands a gentle squeeze back, head bobbing in small, quick nods.

"I don't know what happened." his voice was tiny and hoarse. "I just felt.." 

"You had a flashback," Connie replied. 

Steven squinted, tilting his head in confusion.

"It's like what happened yesterday when you remembered Bismuth," She explained. "You felt like you were there again, right? You couldn't tell what was real and what wasn't?"

Steven's eyes widened, and he nodded.

"Those are called flashbacks." She confirmed. "They can happen when you remember something...traumatic."

Steven frowned down at their joined hands, thinking.

"But I didn't have a memory just now." 

"It's not always a memory." Connie squeezed his hands again, more for her sake than his. "Sometimes, it can just be powerful thoughts or feelings. It can overwhelm you; make it hard to think or focus on what's happening." 

She held her breath, worried the information might upset him. It had bothered her just to read about it and associate it with her friend. To actually experience? It must have been terrifying.

But Steven surprised her, as he often did.

"You made it stop." 

He was looking back up at her, eyes wide but no hint of fear.

"How'd you do that?" 

There was so much wonder in his hushed voice that Connie blushed.

"Do you have magic now too?" He asked.

The innocent question startled a laugh out of her.

"No, silly." she pulled her hands away to shove him playfully. "I just used some of the techniques I read about."

Steven blushed at her teasing.

"Hey! Magical Connie is a perfectly valid hypothesis." He defended.

She quirked an eyebrow.

"Based on what?"

Steven threw his arms up.

"I don't know! It's the future!"

Connie laughed.

"Well, sorry to disappoint." she tucked some hair behind her ear. "Just normal non-magical Connie here."

A strange look came over Steven's face.

"You never disappoint me."

His sincere, matter-of-fact tone, warmed her heart.

"I try my best," she admitted with a grin.

Steven opened his mouth to speak but froze. His eyes grew distant, starring past her shoulder, a small crease forming between his brows.

"Steven..?" 

Connie raised a hesitant hand out toward him, worried he'd been pulled into another memory, but then Steven blinked, shaking his head slightly.

"Are you okay?" She asked, brows knitting together.

He looked up at her, confusion fading and a bright smile taking its place.

"You're my knight." 

Connie's heart skipped a beat, brows lifting high as she leaned forward on her hands.

"You remembered my sword training!"

Steven laughed, unable to contain his own excitement.

"I remember us training together! You had a sword, and I had my shield, and it was amazing!" He gushed, stars in his eyes. " _You_ were amazing!"

Connie would have blushed at the praise, but her mind was already scrambling to place the memory.

"You remembered all that?!" Her eyes were wide. "Steven, that's incredible!"

He blushed.

"It was just pieces." He admitted. "I remember you kneeling in front of me first, which was kinda weird. Then I remembered our training together against.." His brow furrowed. "Some kind of hologram of Pearl?" he finished with uncertainty.

Connie nodded, no less impressed.

"That's still great, Steven! You only spaced out for a moment." She hesitated. "Did it feel-"

Steven shook his head.

"It wasn't a flashback," he confirmed. "I mean, I saw it happening, and It was distracting, but it didn't feel like I was there."

"No dizziness, either?"

Another shake of his head, curls bouncing.

"I think it was over too quick. Besides," Steven smiled. "My memories of you are always good."

Connie thought about the proposal. The trip to the hospital. The confrontation in the living room before his change.

"Yeah." Her smile felt brittle. "I'm glad."

Steven sat up, legs crossed Indian-style.

"Do you think I'll get them a lot?" He asked, looking worriedly up at the ceiling. "The flashbacks?"

Connie bit her lip.

"It's ..possible." She hedged. "Especially if the memory is...upsetting."

Steven rubbed his hands nervously against his legs, expression pinched.

"What if you're not there to stop it?" he asked, voice small and frightened.

Connie straightened. 

"Oh!" She turned to open her bag, "I printed off some pamphlets." She pulled one out and held it up, "I've got one for everyone."

Steven took it from her hands, reading over the words printed in bold letters at the top. 

'COPING WITH FLASHBACKS'

"It has all kinds of techniques," Connie continued. "Things other people can do to help ground you, and even things you can do if you're on your own. It's not exactly a fix-all, but it'll help."

She watched as the tension that had gathered in his shoulders eased.

"Connie, this is..." He looked up, eyes welling with tears. "Thank you."

She shrugged one shoulder.

"It's nothing, I-"

"It's not nothing." Steven interrupted, suddenly serious. "Talking with the gems and my dad afterward helped, but It was still really scary when it was happening. Not just for me, but for everyone else too."

"Steven that's not-"

"I know it's not my fault, but I still feel bad," Steven admitted, he looked down at the bed. "I think Bismuth tried to help me. I remember her reaching for me, but-" He shook his head. "I just wanna do better next time, and I know this will help so...thank you."

"You're welcome."

Connie studied the boy in front of her curiously. It had been nagging at her since before they'd come upstairs, that something seemed different about her friend. He appeared more focused, more attuned to the subtle gestures and expressions of others. He seemed...

"Steven?"

The boy raised his eyebrows and made a small questioning sound in his throat, but his eyes were on the pamphlet.

It was a shot in the dark but-

"How old are you?"

Steven answered immediately.

"Thirteen."

His reply seemed to catch up with him a second later, and his head shot up.

"I'm...thirteen?" He questioned softly to himself. "I'm thirteen." His voice gained volume and clarity, a smile lit up his face.

"I'm thirteen!" He exclaimed, jumping up on the bed with an excited laugh. "Whoo hoo!"

The pamphlet lay forgotten on the bed as he looked down at her with wide eyes.

"How did you _know_?!"

Connie laughed, it was going to be harder to convince him that she wasn't magic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing like a little trauma to boost your age, am I right? And Connie continues to be the best friend anyone could ask for. I'm curious to know if you guys noticed the change in Steven too? Oh and now that I've introduced you to the 'emotional/internal flashback' , maybe you noticed this isn't his first one? He experiences one back in the chapter titled 'Dear Diary', that panic about him upsetting the gems and that they would abandon him? Is this only obvious in my head, cause I'm writing the story? I hope I'm portraying this right lol.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know what my problem is? I want to write about everything.....Everything.

Pearl couldn't help but smile fondly from her spot at the end of the couch, listening to Stevens excited chatter. Connie's visit had put Steven in such a happy mood, and his enthusiasm had not waned even after her departure.

"-And then the entire building blew up!" Steven threw his arms out wide as he flopped back on the couch between Garnet and Amethyst, mimicking the sound of an explosion. "But Dogcopter saved everyone!" Steven continued, "Even the bad guy!"

"Is that why you like him so much?" Amethyst grinned, nudging the boy with her elbow. "Cause he's the hero?"

"Well...that's one of the reasons," Steven admitted, sitting up. "But also because he's like me."

The gems looked bewildered by the comparison.

"He's two things in one," Steven explained, looking down at his stomach, hand hovering over the placement of his gem. "Like how I'm half gem and half human."

The stunned silence that followed made Steven blush, pulling his hands away from his belly to rest in his lap.

"Huh, I never thought of it like that," Amethyst admitted, a slow smile forming on her face. "Guess that makes him even cooler."

Steven tilted his head up at her, surprised.

"Really?" He asked, "You think so?"

Garnet's arm came around his shoulders, pulling him against her side.

"He's one of a kind," She responded, smiling down at him. "Very special."

"Irreplaceable," Pearl added, smiling.

Steven felt warmth blossom in his chest as he ducked his head, hiding an entirely different kind of blush.

"Yeah, I guess he is pretty cool." He confessed quietly.

He curled closer against Garnet's side, yawning.

"I think someone's ready for bed," Pearl remarked.

Steven let out a small groan of protest as he sat up, trying to appear more alert than he was.

"But what about dad?" He insisted. "I have to tell him the big news."

Pearl looked ready to argue, but the sound of the door opening rendered her point mute.

"Holy cow, you guys got a lot done!" Greg exclaimed as he entered the house. "This looks great."

"Dad!" The boy jumped off the couch so fast he nearly lost his balance, causing Pearl to throw her hand out with a startled 'be careful'.

Greg laughed as Steven came barreling into him, lifting the boy briefly off the ground in a hug.

"I'm so glad you're here." Steven grinned as he pulled back. "You'll never guess what I found out today!" he threw his arms up in the air, "I'm a teenager!" 

Greg's forehead creased in confusion.

"What, now?"

"I'm thirteen!" Steven explained, beaming. "I got older!"

His dad's eyes widened.

"Holy smokes, no kidding?" the man asked, darting a glance at the gems who nodded. "Schtu-ball, that's amazing! Let me take a look at you."

He placed his hands on the boy's shoulders, sizing him up. Of course, there was no visible change in his appearance, which was expected; after all, Steven hadn't hit his growth spurt until about 15. Still, the boy puffed his chest out and held his head high, obviously proud, and Greg would not take that away from him.

"Growing up right before my eyes. Again!" the man exclaimed, grinning. "You sure know how to make your old man feel even older."

Steven smiled, opening his mouth to respond, but breaking off into another yawn.

Pearl stood up from her spot on the couch in one swift motion.

"Okay, that's quite enough excitement for one day," She addressed the room. "Steven needs his rest."

Greg watched as color rose to the boy's cheeks.

"I'm not that tired," Steven mumbled, even as he rubbed at his eye. 

"You've had a long day," Pearl began, moving closer to crouch down at Steven's level. "Growing boys need their sleep."

Greg winced at the condescending tone, and Amethyst let out an annoyed huff from the couch.

"He's thirteen, not three." The purple gem announced, folding her arms across her chest.

Pearl visibly stiffened at the reprimand, expression darkening as she stood and turned towards the couch.

"Uh, hey, Stchu-ball!" Greg was quick to place his hand on Steven's shoulder to get his attention."How about you head on upstairs and I'll be up in a minute?"

Steven's brow furrowed, looking back at the gems for a moment. Greg could finally see the added year the boy had gained as he accessed the situation and nodded.

"Okay." 

Steven gave him another hug, said goodnight to the gems, and shuffled up the stairs with one last backward glance.

Greg waited until he was sure his son was in bed before letting out a deep breath.

"Okay then," He wiped his sweaty palms against his shorts as he looked up at everyone. "I think we need to talk."

Garnet stood up from the couch.

"In the kitchen." She instructed, glancing up to where Steven's room was located.

Greg wondered if she foresaw them raising their voices and Steven overhearing, and the thought made him more nervous as they all made their way across the room.

Amethyst hopped up on the edge of the table as Garnet took a seat in one of the chairs. Pearl stood in front of the sink, mouth set in a hard line, and hands clasped anxiously.

"Is this about Bismuth?" 

Her straight forward question took the man by surprise.

"I could tell you weren't happy with how we handled the situation back then," Pearl explained, her eyes darting towards the other two gems in guilt. "I can understand if you're angry."

Greg sighed.

"It's not about that," he admitted, even though he felt tense at the reminder. "Although I wish you had at least told me what happened. I have a right to know when my son's life is in danger."

"We kinda thought Steven would tell you," Amethyst admitted with a shrug. 

Greg felt the guilt well up inside him. He was beginning to realize there was a lot Steven had glossed over in the past, or never mentioned at all. And how could Greg blame him? After making it clear he didn't want to get involved in 'magic' stuff. When Greg, himself, had never asked or questioned things? 

Because he was afraid of the answers; Because as long as Steven seemed whole and happy, what had it mattered? 

He rubbed his eyes briefly with one hand.

"You're right, I-" He paused, clearing his throat before looking back up at them. "The truth is, I should have made more of an effort to talk with you guys about Steven's life."

"We could have tried harder, as well," Garnet remarked.

"Okay, so we all feel horrible now," Amethyst announced in a deceptively cheerful voice. "What's next?"

Greg startled briefly.

"Oh, right, uh-" He was bad at this. "I think we need to be more careful not to argue in front of Steven."

Pearl immediately straightened, seeming relieved at the change in topic. 

"I couldn't agree more." She shot Amethyst a pointed look.

"Seriously?" The shorter gem tensed, eyes narrowing. "I was just standing up for Steven cause he's too nice to tell you off himself."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Pearl insisted, arms crossed and nose upturned.

Amethyst rolled her eyes, throwing a hand out.

"You've been treating him like a baby all day." 

"I have not." Pearl bristled, face turning red.

"You did cut up all his food into bite-sized pieces." Garnet disclosed. 

Greg covered his face with a hand, imagining his son's embarrassment.

"Did you do this in front of Connie?" his asked, voice strained.

"I cut hers up too!" Pearl shot back, "It wasn't- I wasn't-" she huffed. "I hardly see how looking out for Steven's well being is a problem."

Greg sighed, hands falling at his sides as he looked up at her.

"Not being able to go into town right now is hard enough on Steven," He reminded her. "Smothering him while he's stuck at home isn't going to help things."

"Then what can I do?!" Pearl cried, eyes shining in desperation. "I don't-" Her voice cracked, and she wrapped her arms around herself. "I don't know what to do." She admitted in a hushed tone.

Garnet stood up from her seat, and Amethyst's face twisted in sympathy. Greg stared, wide-eyed and open-mouthed for a moment and then...laughed.

It bubbled up from inside him and came out in an almost hysterical burst, making him feel dizzy with relief. All three gems looked at him, expressions twisted in alarm and concern, and it only made him laugh harder, bending over to clutch at his stomach. 

"I'm sorry, really," He chortled, "It's just-" More giggles escaped. "I don't know what I'm doing either."

How long had he sat out in his van, looking at the pamphlet Connie had dropped off to him, questioning every decision he'd ever made with Steven?

His laughter finally prompted a twisted smile from Amethyst.

"So we're all a bunch of clueless yuks?" she asked, and the humor seemed to be infectious because the next moment she was laughing too.

Pearl shot Garnet a worried and confused look, but the fusion was suddenly grinning herself, shoulders trembling with barely suppressed mirth.

"Have you all lost your minds?" Pearl shrieked, throwing her arms up in disbelief. "Why on earth are you laughing? This isn't funny!"

Greg wiped a few tears from his eyes as his laughter finally trailed off, straightening back up with a deep sigh.

"It's really not," he admitted, looking up at her with a faint smile. "It's just ...nice knowing I'm not in this alone."

Pearl stared back.

Garnet's hand fell on her shoulder.

"This isn't all on you." She parroted the words she'd spoken that first night after Steven's change.

"Yeah, p." Amethyst wiped her eyes, smiling as she gained control of herself again. "You gotta stop putting all this pressure on yourself."

Pearl looked at the faces around her and felt some of the tension ease from her frame.

"We're not always going to know what's best," Greg admitted, "but we have a better shot at getting it right if we do it together."

Pearl felt the corners of her mouth turn upward at the words.

"If every porkchop were perfect..." she offered half-heartedly.

Greg's smile widened.

"We wouldn't have hotdogs."

* * *

Greg felt considerably lighter as he made his way up the stairs to Steven's room. He knew there would be more to discuss later, especially when addressing Steven's flashbacks, but the brief talk had him feeling hopeful.

He smiled when he made it to the entrance of Steven's room. The light was off, but the lamp next to the bed bathed the area in a soft glow. Steven was sitting up, legs under the covers, writing in what looked like a pink book. 

He must have heard Greg's approach because he lifted his head, and a smile broke out across his face.

"Hi, dad."

The simple greeting warmed Greg to his core.

"Hey, kiddo." he walked forward, grinning. "Sorry, it took me a while."

"That's okay," Steven closed the notebook, holding it up for his dad to see. "It gave me time to catch up on my diary."

"Diary, huh?" He sat on the side of the bed, facing the boy. "Where'd you get that?" 

"Connie gave it to me." the boy explained, a pleased flush against his cheeks as he hugged the notebook against his chest. "I really like it."

Greg grinned. 

"That Connie is a smart one."

"She's the best." Steven insisted, stretching to place the notebook on the nightstand. "Her parents let her come over for the whole day; it was great."

"I'm glad you had some company," Greg admitted, running a hand over his head. "I know the gems were being a little...uh...overprotective earlier."

Steven's smile faded, nose crinkling.

"Pearl cut up all my food today." He sulked. "She even cut up the grapes. The grapes, dad!"

Greg winced, sympathetic. 

"Sorry about that, kiddo."

"I thought she'd be better when she found out I was thirteen," Steven admitted, staring down at his knees. "I guess one more year isn't that big of a deal, though."

"Are you kidding? it's a huge deal!" Greg insisted, "You're a teenager now! Again!"

Steven looked up, a shy smile on his face.

"And don't worry about Pearl. " Greg placed a hand on his son's shoulder. "We talked, and she's going to try harder to treat you your age. We all are."

"Really?" Steven's eyes widened."You mean it?" He pushed himself forward to throw his arms around the man's middle. "You're the best!"

Greg chuckled, returning the embrace, glad he was able to do this for his son, at least. As Steven pulled away, Greg moved to tuck the covers around him but caught himself at the last second. 

"Oh jeez, sorry kiddo," He rubbed his neck, embarrassed. "I just finished saying we're going to treat you your age, and here I am trying to tuck you in."

Greg moved to pull away, and Steven's expression fell. 

"Wait." 

The urgency in his son's voice made him freeze.

"I mean-" Steven blushed, ducking his head. "I don't mind. If you want to."

Greg blinked for a moment, and then a small smile spread across his face. Wordlessly he moved to finish tucking the covers around his son's legs. Steven leaned back into the pillows, looking equal parts flustered and pleased.

"There we go," Greg announced. "Snug as a bug."

Steven yawned.

"Thanks, Dad," he mumbled, eyes drooping. "Will you stay till I fall asleep?"

Given how tired the boy looked, Greg guessed that wouldn't be much longer.

"I'm not going anywhere, kiddo."

Steven let out a sleepy hum as he curled up on his side, his eyelids fluttered closed. Greg reached out to brush back a few stray curls on his son's forehead, smiling softly at his peaceful expression. 

He turned to switch off the lamp but froze. Sitting next to Steven's pink diary was a copy of the Pamphlet Connie had given him.

'COPING WITH FLASHBACKS'

Greg felt his shoulders slump under the weight of the words. The memory of Steven at the hospital came to the forefront of his mind. The tears that had pooled in Steven's eyes, running unchecked down his face, and the way his voice had cracked as he confessed that he didn't know how to move forward with his life.

It broke his heart.

His son had been through so much, and at such a young age that it had taken a toll. It had harmed Steven in ways that even healing powers couldn't fix. 

And yet?

He'd dismissed Priyanka's suggestion of therapy almost instantly, convincing himself that some father/son bonding and a road trip was all Steven needed. 

It was a stupid, selfish decision born from insecurity and fear.

And look how well it had turned out.

As if sensing his dark thoughts, Steven shifted in his sleep, making a low, pained sound in his throat.

Greg immediately ran his hand up and down the boy's back.

"Shh, it's okay."

Whatever mistakes he made before, they were in the past, and Greg couldn't let the weight of them drag him down; he couldn't let them distract him from being there for Steven now.

"I'm right here, kiddo. I gotcha."

Steven let out a slow breath as he settled back into a more natural sleep, expression once again peaceful.

"I gotcha," Greg repeated softly. "I promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Back To Bismuth


	13. Back to Bismuth

Dear Diary,

I had cereal for breakfast!

I know that probably doesn't seem like a big deal, but Pearl has made breakfast every morning since I turned back into my younger self, and even though I love her cooking, it was nice to get back to basics. Plus, Pearl let me make it all on my own! I know dad said he talked to the gems about treating me my age, but it still really surprised me. 

Pearl even apologized for embarrassing me in front of Connie. I was never really angry at her for it- I know she was only worried about me- but I can't say I wasn't relieved when she promised she would try harder to give me some space.

Also, I think now might be the perfect time to bring up Bismuth again. Maybe at lunch when we're all together? I'll let you know how it goes. Wish me luck :)

Dear Diary,

I mentioned Bismuth during lunch and...things didn't go so great.

Dad looked super uncomfortable; he had that face he used to make whenever I brought up magic stuff. Garnet and Amethyst made weird faces too, but they were looking at Pearl instead of me. And Pearl...she didn't react at all. So yeah, it was strange. 

I tried to explain to them that I was just worried about Bismuth. I kept picturing her alone and sad, thinking we were mad at her or didn't want her around anymore. Dad said it was really nice of me to be worried about her, and Amethyst said it wasn't _my job_ to worry about her, and Pearl told me that I didn't _need_ to worry about her. I'm not sure why, but it made me feel kinda ~~angry~~ annoyed. It was like they weren't really listening to me.

Then Garnet said that she'd already talked to Bismuth! I would have thought the others already knew, but they were surprised too. Pearl even asked when/how she spoke to Bismuth, but Garnet just held up her phone. It's so weird that the gems all have phones now. I guess Bismuth must have one too.

So, anyway, I was really excited. I asked Garnet if Bismuth was okay and if she would come back to see us and see all the work they'd done (I forgot to mention, but they finished the house!).   
Garnet said that Bismuth was doing fine and that she wasn't alone- which is good; I was happy about that. But she also said that Bismuth didn't think it was a good idea to come back so soon. 

Pearl was relieved to hear that, I could tell, but it just made me feel...kinda bad. It must have shown on my face cause dad hugged me from the side and told me that Bismuth would come to visit again when she was ready. He also told me not to stress out about it. Everyone was saying things like that- that it would all be okay- and I tried to believe it, I really did, but...

If Bismuth is the one that doesn't want to come back, does that mean that she's...mad at me? I know I reacted badly when I was having that ~~memory~~ flashback of her. I don't remember everything I did, though. Did I try to push her away? Did I try to fight her like in the flashback? 

I didn't say anything to my family about what I was thinking. They were trying so hard to cheer me up, and some part of me was worried that if I did tell them...maybe they'd be mad at me too? I know this probably doesn't make a lot of sense, and I wonder if it's more of those flashback feelings that Connie mentioned. 

I just wish

Skrrch skrrch

The sound had Steven looking up from his spot on the bed, where he'd been stretched out on his stomach, writing in his Diary.

Lion was outside on the balcony; paw lifted as he scratched on the glass door to be allowed entry. 

"Lion!"

Steven quickly shut the notebook and rolled off the bed, hurrying to slide the glass door open for his companion. He threw his arms wide in greeting, but then pouted when the large feline casually strolled past him.

"Heey, you're not even gonna say hello?" he put his hands on his hips, indignant. "Where have you been? I haven't seen you in days!"

Lion flopped down on the floor, curling up into an adorable ball and looking up at the boy with a soft growl. The annoyed expression on Steven's face instantly melted.

"Aww, I can't stay mad at you." Steven cooed, getting down on his knees beside the oversized cat.

When he raised his hand to pet him, Lion turned to press his nose into his hand, and Steven gasped, eyes shining with stars as he moved his fingers up the animal's broad muzzle to his forehead. Lion huffed and leaned into the touch affectionately. 

"You do love me!" 

Steven threw his arms around Lion's head with a happy laugh, burying his face into the soft mane.

"I love you too, Lion!" When he pulled back, his smile was wistful. "If only it were this easy to talk with everyone."

Lion blinked at him, and Steven's brow creased in thought.

"Maybe...it is," he said quietly to himself, a surge of hope and excitement rising through him. "Maybe all I need to do is talk to Bismuth myself!"

Isn't that how it happened last time? Didn't Amethyst say he'd let Bismuth out of her bubble and talked to her, and everything was okay again? If he could just- 

Steven groaned.

"I don't have a phone though," He turned to sit, reclining into Lion's warmth, "I mean, I guess future me must have had one, but I don't know where it is. And I can't ask the gems to let me use their phone; they wanted me to leave this whole thing alone." He stared up at the ceiling, "How do I-Woah!" 

He fell back onto the floor as Lion abruptly stood up.

"Liooon," Steven moaned, "You're supposed to emotionally support me when I'm brooding!" he sat up, "or at least physically support me when I'm using you as a cushion," he added.

Lion nudged him with his nose.

"huh? what is it?" Steven frowned in confusion as he pulled himself to his feet. "Are you trying to tell me something?"

Lion let out another low growl and lowered the front half of his body in a sort of bow, motioning with a flick of his head behind him.

Steven blinked.

"You...want me to get on your back?" 

Lion huffed, and Steven grinned.

"I'm gonna take that as a yes!" The boy decided, climbing onto Lions back carefully, before peering down at him with curious eyes. "Now what?"

"Woah-ha!" Steven laughed as Lion stood and began moving, "Aww, you're trying to cheer me up, aren't ya, boy?" He rubbed Lion's side, "You're the best!"

When Lion made his way out onto the balcony, Steven frowned.

"Um...Lion," Steven began nervously, "We're not supposed to leave the house without permission."

He sighed in relief when they stopped. 

"Oh. You must have just wanted some fresh air." Steven stated, looking out onto the beach. 

The sound of the waves crashing softly on the shore. The clouds drifting slowly across the sky, obscuring the afternoon sun. The warm, salty breeze wafting through the air.  
Steven took in a deep breath and sighed contently.

"This is nice."

But then Lion crouched, eyes lighting up, and _roared_. 

A burst of pink energy soared outwards in front of them and morphed into a glowing white circle.

Steven gaped.

"Whoa...What is th-hAAAAHH!" he screamed as they jumped through, fingers tightening in lions mane as he hunkered down against the felines back. 

"Whaaaat's going on!?"

Steven felt that strange sensation in his gut that he'd only ever associated with rollercoasters, a mix of fear and exhilaration. As he noticed the beautiful lights and colors streaking past, elation won through, and he found himself laughing.

"Whoo-hoo!" He threw his arms into the air, "Look, no hands!"

When they emerged through the other side, Lion skidded softly to a stop, safe on solid ground once again, and Steven let out a breathless laugh a hopped off the animal.

"Why didn't you tell me you could do that?!" He shouted, "And where.." He trailed off as he looked around, "..are we?"

It was a fairly big room, with a high domed ceiling and a stoned floor. Various weapons lined up against the wall on display. A furnace and hearth were against either side of the room. A stool set off to the left next to a large chest, and in the center of the room was a broken anvil. 

The smell of sulfur had him freezing in place, breath catching in his throat.

**the smell of sulfur, and the heat pressing down on him from all around as Bismuth-**

"Not real." He whispered to himself, eyes darting around for something to help ground him to the here and now, but everything was just too similar to the memory threatening to pull him in.

"I- I can't-"

Something large and warm pressed against his side, a low purr sounded near his ear.

"Lion.." Steven gasped softly, turning to run a hand through the soft pink fur, focusing on the feel of it as slipped between his fingers.

Lion responded by nuzzling the boy's face, and Steven giggled as warm breath tickled his ear, and a sandpaper tongue licked his cheek.

He let out a shaky breath as the feelings of fear and dread disappeared, and the ground felt more solid beneath his feet.

"Thanks, boy." 

He scratched behind the feline's ear and then looked back around the room.

"But why did you bring me here?" Steven asked, glancing at his furry friend, "Is there something you want me to do? Or-"

"Is someone in there?" A muffled voice called from outside, and Steven's eyes widened.

"Oh no, we're trespassing!" He whispered sharply, hands clutching at his shirt, "I'm gonna be arrested, and dad will have to bail me out of jail."

The large wooden door rattled and creaked as it swung open, and Steven found himself instinctively lifting his arm and squaring off his feet in a pose that he didn't quite understand, but felt as natural as breathing.

"Whoever's in here, classes are-" 

The familiar voice halted, and Bismuth muscled frame froze in the open doorway when she spotted him.

"Steven...?"

A small part of him had been worried that if he did see Bismuth again, he might panic, but that did not seem to be the case. When Steven looked at her, he didn't feel fear or dread; he felt relief. 

He lowered his arm and relaxed his stance, feeling a small blush warm his cheeks at having been caught somewhere he shouldn't be.

"Um, hey, Bismuth," He managed a weak smile and wave, "Long time no see."

"Steven, why are you- how are you-" Bismuth's eyes darted toward Lion, and some of the confusion lifted from her face.

she looked back at him with worried eyes. 

"Do the others know you're here?"

Oh boy.

"Um, not exactly," Steven rubbed the back of his neck and grinned. "And by 'not exactly,' I mean, not at all." 

The large gem took this all in stride.

"Right. Okay." Bismuth nodded to herself. "Just, uh, stay here, and I'll call P- er, Garnet to-"

"No, wait." Steven took a step forward; one hand stretched out as Bismuth was turning to leave. "I wanted to see you." 

Bismuth paused, looking back at him.

"You wanted to see me?" She repeated, clearly bewildered. "You sure about that?"

Steven nodded.

"I wanted to talk to you," He explained, "To apologize."

Bismuth reared back, her wide-eyed expression of shock almost comical.

"Apologize??" She questioned loudly, "why would you-" She stopped, considering, "What am I saying.." she shook her head with an unhappy laugh. " _Of course_ , you're apologizing to me." she brought a hand up to cover her face and groaned. "What a mess."

Despite his confusion over her response, Steven took another step closer, determined to set things rights.

"I should have known you weren't going to hurt me." Bismuth looked at him through her fingers, listening. "The gems would never have invited you into our home if they thought you were dangerous. Plus, we had so much fun together before I-" 

Steven paused, mouth turning down in regret.

"I understand if you're mad at me," he stated sincerely. "I'm sorry I overreacted."

Bismuth lowered her hand, looking at him with furrowed brows and sad eyes.

"I'm not mad at you, Steven." 

Steven frowned, forehead creasing.

"You're...not?" he asked, bewildered. "But Garnet said you didn't want to come back. I thought-"

"I was ashamed." The gem admitted, hands clenching at her sides and a pained expression marring her face. "I didn't know how to face you again after that." tears budded at the corner of her eyes, "Steven...I tried to shatter you."

Steven blinked, feeling his eyes sting, and his heart beat loudly in his chest. 

He didn't want to talk about this. He didn't want to _think_ about this.

"I-it's in the past," He winced at his stutter, "All that stuff- it doesn't matter. I know we're friends now."

"Of course, it matters!" Bismuth replied, looking heartbroken. " _You_ matter!"

"But-" Steven faltered, "But you didn't actually-"

Bismuth sighed, lowering her voice.

"That doesn't make it okay."

Steven could only stare.

This wasn't how he imagined their talk would go.

He thought that if he just apologized, then everything could go back to normal. He'd show back up at the temple with Bismuth, hand in hand, and everyone would know it was okay. 

Wasn't that how it worked?

"I.. don't understand." He admitted, and he hated how lost and confused and...young he sounded.

Bismuth winced, seeming pained by his words.

"What I did back then- what I tried to do- I thought-" Bismuth stopped herself with a firm shake of her head. "No. It doesn't matter what I thought." She stated, "I was wrong."

She took a few steps forward, deeply relieved when the smaller boy didn't recoil in fear. 

"Steven, you gave me a second chance." She stopped in front of him, placing a large hand on his shoulder, "You helped make me who I am today," the corner of her mouth tugged upwards into a small smile. "You make me _so proud_ to be a Crystal Gem."

Steven Swallowed against the sudden tight feeling in his throat. The warmth of her touch felt like it was spreading through his entire body. 

"You don't owe me anything, kiddo. Especially, not an apology." Steven's eyes widened as Bismuth bent down on one knee in front of him. "But I owe you one."

He tried to tell her it was okay, that she didn't need to, that everything was fine now, but his throat felt clogged, and his lips were numb. 

"I should have said this to you a long time ago," Bismuth's eyes glistened, but her voice was steady, "I'm so sorry, Steven. For everything I put you through."

Her words were like a cooling balm on a wound he hadn't realized was there. Something deep inside him uncoiled, and Steven shook with a relief that he barely understood. 

Bismuth winced when she spotted the tears in his eyes.

"Aw, stars, I didn't mean to-" the words cut off abruptly as Steven launched himself forward to hug her, laughing and crying all at once.

"Whoa, hey," though clearly surprised by the gesture, Bismuths arms came up around him. "I gotcha."

Her hold was strong yet gentle, and so achingly familiar that it made his head feel fuzzy.

"So..," She hesitated, "Is this the good kinda crying or.."

Steven chuckled, pulling back to wipe the tears off his cheeks.

"The good kind," He confirmed, relief and happiness making his smile that much brighter. "Thank you."

Bismuth lifted an eyebrow, a bewildered smile on her face.

"For what? Apologizing?" she chuckled as she ruffled his hair, "You are one weird kid."

Steven just grinned. He couldn't really explain why he had thanked her, only that it had felt like she'd given him something that he sorely needed. 

"We better get you back home," Bismuth said, standing. "If the others know you're gone-oh boy, they're gonna go nuts."

Steven winced at the reminder. 

Despite his dad and the gems giving him more time to himself, he doubted his absence had gone entirely unnoticed for this long.

Were they worried sick about him? Would they be angry when he showed up? Would Pearl ever let him make cereal for himself again?

Bismuth must have noticed his distress because she placed a comforting hand against his back.

"Hey, don't worry about it, deep cut." she smiled reassuringly, "We'll go together, okay?"

"Together?" Steven blinked, tilting his head up at her. "Really?"

"Don't know if you've noticed," Bismuth smirked, "But your ride sorta left without you."

"Huh?" Steven looked around, but there was no sign of Lion anywhere. "Hey! No fair!"

Bismuth laughed, a deep rich sound that had Steven smiling once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, you guys! the number of revisions I did in this chapter! I legit had an entire breakfast scene written that I didn't use lol.  
> At first I had Lion abandon Steven almost immediately after they arrived at Bismuth's workshop lol which amused me. But then I decided to go for the fluff of having Lion help steven avoid another flashback. My heart loves the fluff.  
> The scene with Bismuth apologizing I had typed up a long time ago, so not many changes there. I did have her use some of the lines from the show, so I can't take any credit for that - just sticking with Canon script.  
> I am so, so tired you guys! lol But really looking forward to your comments <3 can't thank you enough for those, they really make it all worth it.  
> I have this story posted on fanfcition.net and I get maybe 1 or 2 comments a chapter if even that. discouraging.


	14. Chapter 14

Knowing Bismuth was going to accompany him back to the temple had been such a relief, but when Steven moved to make his way toward the door, she held her hands up for him to stop.

Just a moment ago, she'd been laughing, and now she was shooting worried looks over her shoulder at the open doorway. When Steven asked if something was wrong, Bismuth shook her head and insisted he stay put while she checked to see if the coast was clear. 

He watched with furrowed brows as Bismuth made her way to the entrance, leaned out, and looked around. She turned her head from side to side and even stared up into the sky. Steven had no idea what, or _who_ , she was looking for, but it made him feel very uneasy. If Bismuth was worried, it must be something terrible, right?

He took a few steps closer, dread pooling in his stomach.

"Uh, Bismuth," He kept his voice hushed. "Are we in trouble?"

"Huh? trouble?" Bismuth turned to look at him, knitted brows lifting in realization.

"Oh! No, we're fine," She assured him, offering an apologetic grin, "I was just checking to make sure that, um," she hesitated. "That there weren't too many gems out there. Don't want you to have to deal with a crowd."

"Gems?" Steven's eyes widened. "Is that- does that mean- are we in Little Homeworld?!"

Now that he'd said it out loud, he wondered how he hadn't drawn that conclusion sooner. He knew Bismuth lived in Little Homeworld, and the room they were in was obviously hers- if not her house, then at the very least a workshop. 

Bismuth grinned, stepping to the side and motioning toward the door with her head.

"Why don't you see for yourself."

Steven glanced between the open doorway and Bismuth, feeling almost light-headed at the idea of seeing Little Homeworld for himself. He took a few halting steps forward, stopping just outside the door, and froze.

He let his gaze sweep over the area, jaw going slack. The buildings were so unique; some were as tall as a tower, and others no bigger than himself. There were some with rounded roofs, others slanted with sharps corners and elaborate shapes, and everything was so...colorful! There were even flowers and trees growing everywhere, as much a part of the town as anything built. 

"..Wow."

Steven spotted two gems chatting happily to one another across the area, and couldn't help but stare.   
One gem was Big and broad, maybe even bigger than Bismuth, but with squared shoulders and a squared head. She was yellow, her outfit- a sort of uniform- in different shades of red, and on one side of her head, a circular-like dial.

_'Topaz'_

The name sprang forward without prompting, and he barely blinked as he looked from her to the smaller gem she was conversing with; Shorter, stalky, blue uniform, her hair long and wild in a way that reminded him of Amethyst, except it was dark red; all of her was red.

_'Carnelian'_

Again the information came to him without memories or emotions. He'd done this before when he'd remembered what fusion meant, and even back when Connie had first mentioned school to him. He just... _knew_.

Bismuth came to stand alongside him, lightly touching his shoulder.

"You okay there, Steven?" there was concern in her voice.

He blinked, shaking his head vaguely as he looked up at her.

"Yeah, I'm good," He smiled suddenly, "This is just...really cool."

Bismuth grinned.

"Hmm, I'm glad you like it," She admitted, looking around the area. "Luckily, there's not too many gems around this part, since classes are canceled."

Steven squinted up at her.

"Classes?"

Bismuth suddenly went tense, a nervous look on her face as she glanced down at him.

"The others... did tell you about Little Homeschool, right?" She questioned tentatively.

Little Homeschool. 

The words sounded familiar, and a vague memory stirred at the back of his mind.

_**'Here at Little Homeschool, you have a chance to rediscover yourself...and learn to live on earth if you like.'** _

Was that...his voice?

"..Steven?"

He'd spaced out for a moment, and so rushed to respond.

"Yeah, I- I know what that is," he huffed out a small laugh, "I think I just remembered, though."

Bismuth's brows lifted in surprise.

"Just now?"

"It's where you teach Gems about the earth, right?" he asked, looking up at her for confirmation. "And let them try new things for themselves?"

Bismuth smiled, but there was something strained about it. 

"Sounds like you got the gist of it." 

Steven's mouth turned down, expression confused.

"Wait- but you said classes were canceled. How come?"

A bead of sweat appeared on Bismuths temple, and she chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of her neck.

"Uh, well, the things is, we, uh," She stammered, "Sometimes ya just gotta take some time to-"

"Oh! I know!" Steven grinned. "It's like schools out for summer, except it's Spring. Is that it?"

Bismuth blinked.

"Yeah, it's...sorta like that." 

"And you're a teacher?' Steven beamed up at her. "I bet you're really great at it. You're so smart and talented, and patient. You taught me so much the other day."

Bismuth smirked, lifting one eyebrow. 

"Is that so?" She folded her arms across her chest, "Or is all this flattery just you stalling for time?"

Steven shrugged innocently, a boyish grin on his face.

"Can't it be both?"

Bismuth laughed heartily. 

"Real cute, kid," she reached over to ruffle his hair, "But it's getting late, and we really need to head back to the temple."

Steven knew she was right; As much as he wanted to run and explore and meet every gem he saw, he knew now wasn't the time. The sun was already setting, painting the sky in pink and orange, and he still had no idea if the others knew he was gone yet. He really didn't want to make them worry.

Bismuth placed her hand against his back.

"Come on. The warp pad isn't far from here." 

Steven allowed himself to be gently lead forward, still taking in as much of the environment as possible. They passed a few more gems on the way, and Steven found himself mentally naming each of them.

_'Agate'_

_'nephrites''_

_'tourmaline-fusion'_

Steven caught a flash of blue atop one of the taller buildings, but the gem- whoever she'd been- darted out of sight when he looked up. 

He was so distracted that he didn't notice they'd reached the warp pad, and he stumbled on the first step. Bismuth quickly caught him under his arm, and Steven shot her an appreciative look as she helped pull him onto the platform.

"So..." Bismuth grinned, lifting her arms to gesture around them, "Would you like to do the honors?" 

There was a moment of confusion before Steven realized what she was suggesting.

"Oh!" surprise filtered across his face, "I don't actually...um," he stammered, scratching his cheek, "I've never- I mean, I don't think I... know how."

He blushed at the confession, but Bismuths smile was warm and understanding.

"Won't know until you try," She pointed out.

Steven considered her words and smiled slightly. 

"Yeah...yeah, I guess you're right." He straightened his shoulders and nodded once. "Okay." 

He widened his stance, brow furrowing in concentration.

"Here I go," he announced, placing one fist on his hip, and raising another fist high into the air, chest puffed out. 

"Warp powers activate!"

He stayed in that pose for a few moments, lips pressed together, and a bead of sweat trickling down his temple.

Nothing.

Steven shifted his feet.

"Uh..how about.." He moved to raise both arms above his head, "Go, warp, go!"

Still nothing.

With an embarrassed groan, he dropped his arms back to his sides. 

"Come on," He whined, staring down at the platform as he stomped his foot impatiently, "At least light up or something." 

He crouched down, pressing his hands against the platform, squinting in concentration.

"I-" his fingers curled into fists, and tears pricked at his eyes, "I can't do it."

_**'what if I never get those powers?'** _

_**'You don't understand..'** _

_**'..What if I can't do anything.'** _

_**"Maybe I'm not a real Crystal Gem.'** _

He couldn't place memories to the words in his head, but the emotions...those were far too familiar. Powerless. Useless. That feeling that he would never live up to everything he was supposed to be. Everything _she_ had been. 

_'I can't even warp.'_

He brought his hands up to cover his face; skin flushed hot with shame.

"Steven." Bismuth knelt next to him, her hand on his shoulder. "Hey, look at me a sec."

His head was buzzing slightly, but he lowered his hands to gaze up at the gem, expecting the usual words of ' _you tried your best, and that's what matters_ ' or, ' _You'll get it next time'_ maybe even, _'it's not a big deal. Don't worry about it._ '.

Bismuth said none of those things, and the expression on her face was not one of pity.

"I think I might know the problem."

"Y-you do?' Steven asked, blinking the tears from his eyes. "You mean it's not...me?"

Bismuth scoffed.

"Of course not! I've seen you warp thousands of times." She gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze, "There's not a doubt in my mind you can do this."

Her confidence in his ability- as well as the knowledge that he had done this before- helped loosen the knot in Steven's stomach. He'd gotten so lost in past thoughts, and his present feelings, that he'd forgotten about the _future_.

Future him. 

He knew from what little the others had revealed that he did indeed have powers. Powers he could control. Powers he'd used to help on missions and defend the Earth. Amethyst had said he was like a swiss army knife of abilities, although she hadn't gone into details.

And Future him could definitely use the warp pad, so... 

Steven frowned. 

"But...I concentrated really hard, and nothing happened."

Bismuth made a thoughtful noise.

"And what exactly were you concentrating on?' 

Steven raised one eyebrow.

"Uh...Warping?" He shrugged his shoulders. "Ya know, making it light up and ..and make that sound and stuff."

Bismuth chuckled.

"Well, that's the problem, right there." 

"Huh?"

"Steven, the warp pad already knows how it works," The blacksmith stated, that friendly lilt to her voice, "It just needs you to tell it where to go."

Steven stared at her for a moment, then blinked, widening his eyes.

"So...instead of thinking about the warping, I need to think about the destination."

Bismuth grinned.

"You got it." She stood back up. "So, let's try again."

Steven rose to his own feet, legs wobbly from having been crouched down for so long. When he glanced up at Bismuth, the taller gem smiled and gave him a thumbs-up, and he felt himself smile back.

"Okay." he nodded to himself with renewed confidence. "I got this."

He closed his eyes and took in a deep calming breath, his stance widening. As he exhaled, he brought his arms out to either side of his body, palms facing outward; the position felt far more natural than the previous one he had tried. 

He pictured the temple, imagining the warp pad's location in his home, and thought about how much he wanted to go there.

He heard the familiar sound of the warp activating, and light engulfed them both, so bright he could see it even behind his closed eyelids. There was the odd, floating sensation as gravity disappeared, and Steven strained to keep himself from drifting upwards in the stream.

When they touched back down, Steven had lifted an inch above the ground but managed to land with only a slight wobble.

He blinked his eyes open to familiar surroundings, arms still held out to his sides, stunned.

"I...I did it." He said quietly, letting out a small disbelieving chuckle before throwing his arms in the air, "I did it!" 

Behind him, Bismuth let out a joyous laugh of her own.

"That's what I'm talking about!" She lifted him off his feet and on to her shoulder, "I knew you had it in ya."

Steven laughed, balancing himself as he threw a fist into the air.

"Whoo-hoo! I'm the warp master!"

"Steven?!?"

Both hybrid and gem froze before turning swiftly in the direction of the shocked, near panicked cry. 

Pearl was standing just inside the cave's entrance, eyes darting between the two as Bismuth slowly lowered the boy back on his feet.

"Pearl!" Steven called out to her as he hopped down from the platform.

The pale gem shook her head as if clearing away cobwebs, crouching just as Steven reached her, hands gripping his upper arms.

"Are you okay??" Pearl looked him up and down, that intense concern that had only just faded this morning now returned full force. "Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine. I'm okay." He hurried to assure her, "Everythings okay and-" He felt a sudden rush of excitement, "Did you see? I warped here all on my own! I-"

"Steven!" Pearl's voice was suddenly stern. "You shouldn't have been using the warp at all. You're not even supposed to leave the house without permission."

Steven felt himself flinch slightly under the light scolding, the brief flash of disappointment at Pearl having overlooked his accomplishment eclipsed by sudden panic.

"I didn't! I swear!" His voice grew high, eyes wide and pleading, "I-it was lion! He made this portal and I -I didn't even know he _could_ do that and-" he wrung his hands together, "-And then we were somewhere else and I- I didn't know-"

Pearls stern visage had disappeared, replaced with concern. She'd seen the very moment the vulnerability had welled up inside Steven and hated that she'd been the one to cause it. 

"Steven.."

"I'm sorry!" He cried, tears in his eyes. "Please don't be mad."

"Oh, Steven..." 

Pearl pulled him into a hug, one arm around his shoulders, her other hand tangled in his soft curls.

"I'm not mad at you." she soothed, "Of course, I'm not." 

Steven leaned his head into the front of her shoulder, one hand reaching up to grip her jacket.

"But I made you worry." He mumbled forlornly.

Pearl chuckled weakly as she pulled back, cupping her hands around Steven's young, round face. She was relieved to see that no tears had fallen down his cheeks, although his eyes were slightly red.

"Yes, I suppose I would have been very worried indeed, had I actually known you were missing."

"Huh?" Steven blinked in confusion, then pouted. "You didn't even know I was gone?"

Pearl pulled her hands back, mouth twitching into a smile at the vaguely affronted look on the boy's face.

"Garnet said she wanted to speak with you before you went to bed," She explained, "That was almost thirty minutes ago. I assumed the two of you were having a deep conversation."

Steven's brow furrowed.

If Garnet had gone up to talk to him, she had to know that he was missing, but...she hadn't said anything. Did she see him leave with Lion? But even if she had, Garnet had no way of knowing where they had gone, or if he was okay. Did she?

Steven opened his mouth to ask but noticed Pearl's gaze was directed over his head, lips pressed in a thin a line. He looked over his shoulder at Bismuth, who stood awkwardly in front of the warp pad, seeming as if she expected to be thrown out at a moment's notice.

Pearl's hand touched his shoulder briefly as she stood up.

"Thank you for bringing him home." 

Steven wasn't sure who was more surprised by her soft words, himself, or Bismuth. The large gem blinked and stammered slightly.

"Uh, yeah, no problem, heh," she shot Steven a slight grin, "Kid did all the work anyway; I was just taggin' along." she cleared her throat, gesturing behind her with a thumb, "I guess I should head out now-"

Steven's face turned stricken, he opened his mouth to protest, but Pearl spoke up before him.

"Bismuth, wait." she stepped up next to Steven, one hand raised. "Don't go yet, I-" she hesitated, then lowered her voice, "I'd like it if you stayed."

Bismuth blinked, eyes wide. "You would?"

Pearl paused, glancing at Steven with a soft expression, before looking back up. 

"Yes," She nodded resolutely, "Very much so."

Steven felt a slow smile come to his face.

He'd been so sure he'd have to talk Pearl into letting Bismuth stay and insist they work out whatever was wrong between then, pull out all the stops- even the puppy dog eyes. The fact that Pearl had changed her mind, for whatever reason, had lifted a huge weight off his shoulders.

He let out a deep breath.

Pearl gazed down at him affectionately, placing her hand against his cheek. Her thumb brushed softly under his eye, the smallest of creases between her brows betraying her concern.

"You look exhausted."

The boy smiled weakly, leaning into her touch, eyelids suddenly heavy.

"Maybe a little," Steven admitted, yawning.

Pearl raised an amused eyebrow.

"Hm, I think it's time for the Warp Master to go to bed."

Steven tilted his head up at her; mouth parted in shock at the use of his new title. Pearl's smile widened in response as she leaned down to kiss the top of his head.

"I'm so proud of you," she whispered.

Steven wrapped his arms around her, burying his face into Pearl's stomach to hide his pleased blush.

"Thanks, Pearl," He looked back at Bismuth as he pulled away, "I had a good teacher."

Bismuth grinned as she took a step closer, and Steven hugged her as well, thanking her and wishing her goodnight.

She chuckled.

"Night, Meatball."

Steven shuffled tiredly into the living room, waving off Pearls offer to carry him to bed, and wondering absently where Amethyst and Garnet had gone. He stopped at the bottom of the stairs to look back at Bismuth and Pearl, smiling as he caught bits of their hushed conversation.

"I shouldn't have.."

"No...I get it.."

"..angry at myself. Not you.."

He continued the trek back to his room with another relieved sigh, one hand against the wall for support as he dragged his feet up the steps. It wasn't even dark outside, but Steven was so tired, and the thought of his bed-soft sheets and fluffy pillows- made his knees weak.

When he reached the top of the stairs, he slipped off his sandals without lifting his head and yawned again.

"Good evening, Steven."

He startled at the casual greeting, looking up. Garnet sat on the left side of his bed, back against the headboard, legs stretched out in front of her with ankles crossed.

"Garnet?" 

The fusion smiled slightly and patted the space next to her invitingly; she'd already pulled back the covers for him. 

Steven padded across the room, climbing onto the bed to settle next to her, exhausted and bewildered.

"Have you been up here this whole time?" he asked.

Garnet moved the covers over his legs, and Steven shuffled closer to her side.

"Just buying you some time," she replied, "I knew you'd be back with Bismuth soon and now she and Pearl can finally talk. Amethyst will be in her room for the rest of the night."

Steven tilted his head up at her.

"But how did you know I was with Bismuth?" Steven's forehead wrinkled, "And how'd you know we'd come back together? And-" he huffed, throwing his arms up, "How do you always know everything?!"

Garnet chuckled, adjusting her visor with one hand.

"Not everything." 

Steven pouted.

"Aww, come on," He whined, "You can tell me. I'm your favorite Steven!"

Garnet smiled. 

"That's very true," She admitted, "But I don't think you're ready for that information just yet."

Steven pouted, rubbing tiredly at one of his eyes.

"But-"

"I need you to trust me on this, Steven," Garnet's voice turned more solemn as she looked down at him, pulling him closer to her side. "Can you do that for me?"

Steven yawned, squirming until his head came to rest on her lap.

"I guess so," he mumbled, squinting up at her, "You promise you'll tell me eventually?"

Garnet ran her hand through the boy's curls affectionately.

"I promise."

Steven blinked slowly, eyelids growing heavier and heavier.

"Kay..I'll just...wait then...and..." Steven drifted off, mumbling incoherently as his head lulled against Garnet's thigh, eyelids fluttering shut in all his exhaustion.

His body went slack as he fell into a deep exhausted sleep, mouth open and snoring softly.

Garnet continued to run her hands through his hair.

"Goodnight, CutiePie."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for making you wait so long for such a boring chapter lol. Hope you liked the art.  
> Oh! And I'm curious since I'm terrible at coming up with titles for stories, what would have been a better name instead of 'Aftermath' ?


	15. Chapter 15

Dear Diary,

  
After lunch today, The gems and I went to the Observatory! Even though it wasn't a trip into town or a visit to one of the places we'd gone on a mission to, it was still somewhere new (at least, for me), and so I was pretty happy.

  
This wasn't the first time I'd seen the Observatory-the gems gave me a tour the second day after I changed into my younger self, and it was the first thing I noticed when we stepped outside (Kind of hard to miss a giant glass dome). Garnet said the Observatory housed a personal warp pad that led directly to Homeworld (How cool is that??). When I asked why the path outside it led to my balcony, Pearl told me it was because I visited Homeworld a lot (Holy smokes!). It's hard to imagine having been to another whole planet, especially one that was full of gems; Future me probably got to have all kinds of fun there! 

  
I really wanted to go there too, but you should have seen the looks on everyone's faces when I asked. I don't know why they looked so freaked out; if future me went to Homeworld all the time, then it couldn't have been a bad place. Long story short, we didn't even go inside. No one mentioned it since, so I was pretty surprised Garnet suggested going today. 

  
Anyway, when I went inside the dome thing (Observatory- Pearl kept correcting me), I was pretty surprised to see all the plants and flowers inside. They completely forgot to mention that there was a garden in there! Amethyst said I planted everything myself too! I had my own garden! I was so excited at first, but then, well-

  
Steven felt the smile slip from his face as he bent over a little blue flower, delicately touching one of the leaves only to pull back when a piece crumbled off; brittle and dry. 

"Uh, Steven..," Amethyst stepped up behind him, "You okay there, dude?"

Upon closer inspection, all the plants and flowers looked much the same, dried out and wilting with neglect.

"They're dying." Steven murmured sadly, wrapping his arms around himself.

The others exchanged troubled and guilty looks as they finally noticed the plants' lackluster appearances around them.

"Oh, steven.." Pearl took a hesitant step forward. "I'm so sorry, I-"

"We should have seen that these plants were taken care of," Garnet finished regretfully.

"It's...it's not your fault," Steven stood back up, staring down at the flower in dismay, "You said this was _my_ garden; I was supposed to-"

Amethyst's eyes widened, and she immediately cut him off.

"Dude, no!" she shook her head, "This is not on you. Heck, you didn't even know there was a garden until just now."

Steven looked up at her with sad, watery eyes, and the panic and concern on Amethyst's face intensified.

"Uh..hey, look at these ones!" she rushed over to some green shrubbery, "They look fine and-Oh, this guy over here!" she hopped over to a small rose bush, "Hardly any leaves missing at all!"

Steven rubbed the moisture away from his eyes, nodding at Amethyst's observations. He knew it wasn't quite rational, crying over plants, and he tried to push out the guilt and sadness that had come over him. 

"Hey," Amethyst hand landed on his shoulder, "We got this, okay?"

She grinned at Steven's questioning look.

"All these guys need is some TLC from S, A, G, and P," She pointed at each of them in turn, and Steven found himself chuckling.

"You really think they'll be okay?" He asked, hopeful.

"Absolutely," Pearl chimed in, "A little water, sunshine, some fertilizer-"

"And a lot of love." Garnet finished with a kind smile.

We spent the rest of the afternoon tending to the garden, although I avoided the cactuses (Cacti?)- for some reason seeing them made me feel upset again. We found a bunch of books about plants and flowers under one of the benches; it had a lot of information on how best to care for each type of plant. This one book called 'The Language Of Flowers' was really neat, although I was a little disappointed to find out it wasn't actually about flowers having a secret language with each other.

  
"Aww man, that would be so cool," Steven lamented, "I wish plants could talk for real."

  
The gems chuckled nervously.

  
The book was actually about how each flower had a meaning behind it, like the little blue flower I first noticed. It's called a Bluebell, and it symbolizes gratitude and humility; it also represents everlasting love. For some reason, Amethyst thought that was really funny.

  
"Seriously?" Amethyst chortled, "Is that why you call it Co-mph!" 

"Oops, sorry," Pearl chirped innocently, having bumped roughly into the purple gem.

After that, Amethyst spent some time chasing Pearl around with a handful of fertilizer, which I have to admit was pretty funny. 

  
"Amethyst, if you take one step closer...!" Pearl shrieked, hands held out in front of her defensively.

"Aww, what's wrong, P?" Amethyst cooed, the mischievous grin on her face at odds with her concerned tone, "You're not scared, are ya?"

"This is a matter of personal hygiene and common decency, not fear," Pearl countered, although she continued to back away before shouting, "Garnet, do something!"

"I am doing something," Garnet shot Steven an amused grin, "I'm watching."

Steven covered his mouth with his hands to stifle his giggles.

It was a lot of fun. Plus, it felt nice to be doing something productive, something useful. In the quieter moments, though, I kept finding myself looking at the warp pad in the center of the room.

  
"Steven."

Garnet sat down on the bench beside him, and Steven blushed slightly at having been caught openly staring at the warp pad.

"Something's on your mind." The tall gem stated, her tone inviting.

Steven closed the book in his lap and set it aside, turning his thoughtful gaze up at Garnet.

"What's it like on Homeworld?" He asked curiously,

Garnet considered her answer for a moment.

"In recent years, I suppose it's not much different than what you've seen of Little Homeworld, although on a much larger scale." she replied, "There are no days and nights, no weather, although the air is breathable by human standards."

Steven frowned at the rather vague and clinical answer. When he looked back at the warp pad, a vision of a different warp pad- old and cracked- came to the forefront of his mind. He could hear Garnet's voice declaring that it was inactive, see himself place a crying breakfast friends sticker on its side.

"Steven?" 

Pearl's voice drew him back to the present; She and Amethyst had made their way over, and the paler of the two was giving him a concerned look. 

Another memory sprang forward- Pearl staring forlornly at the inactive warp pads (several warp pads, he realized), her voice wistful, **"It really is incredible out there, though. I wish you could see it, Steven."**

Steven shook his head, barely missing a beat as he returned Pearl's concerned gaze with one of his own.

"Don't you miss it?" 

Pearl blinked in confusion.

"Homeworld, you mean?" She frowned, "Why would you think that?"

"I Just remembered how sad you seemed when we were looking at all those broken warp pads." He replied, "And Homeworld is your home, right?"

Steven was relieved that none of the gems decided to dwell on the small piece of memory he'd recovered. 

"It's true, I did originally come from Homeworld," Pearl replied thoughtfully, "And I did miss being able to travel in space for all those years, but," She smiled, "This is my home now."

Steven grinned eagerly, "With me?"

Pearl chuckled softly, a fond look on her face as she stared down at him.

"Yes, with you."

The familiarity of the exchange made Steven's own smile widen. He leaned back slightly on the bench, kicking his feet happily as he turned his curious gaze over to Garnet.

"Do you visit Homeworld a lot?" Steven asked.

Garnet tilted her head back, the light shining through the glass ceiling reflected off her glasses.

"If the need arises," She replied, arms crossed, "But I chose Earth long ago as my home, and that will never change." she looked down at him then, a small smile on her face, "I have always felt more free to be myself here."

Steven grinned. He turned to ask Ameythst what she thought of Homeworld and noticed the shorter gem had taken a step back from them. She didn't seem upset exactly, but Steven still felt his brow wrinkle in concern.

"Amethyst? Is something wrong?" 

"Huh?" She looked up at him then, vaguely confused. "Why would anything be wrong?"

"It's just...we've been talking about Homeworld, but you haven't said anything," He fidgeted as he thought over what Garnet and Pearl had just said, realizing they both had preferred Earth to Homeworld.

Had that made Amethyst feel bad? 

"It's okay if you like it better," Steven insisted, "It was your first home too, after all."

He didn't expect the look of shock and confusion that came over the purple gems face.

"What? No, it's not that! Homeworld isn't-" She hesitated when she saw Garnet shake her head, "Uh, Isn't...isn't that big a deal." She chuckled nervously.

Steven gave her a funny look.

"Earth has always been my favorite, hands down; I mean, what other planet has jumbo burritos, wrestling, and _this guy_ ," she pulled him into a loose headlock, smooshing his hair with her other hand, "The one and only Steven Universe, folks!"

Stevens laughed and squirmed, pulling away only to pounce on top of Amethyst, the two rolling around on the ground in a light wrestling match that consisted mostly of tickling.

"Oh, steven," Pearl fretted, "You're going to get filthy."

I'm sure I'll get to see Homeworld again someday, or maybe remember it on my own, but for the rest of the evening, I was just happy to be on Earth with my family. 

  
A light knock had Steven looking up from his Diary; he could see his dad standing just outside his room, hand still raised from where he'd knocked on the wall.

"Hey, schtu-ball," The man grinned, "You mind if I come in?" 

"Dad!" Steven beamed, closing his notebook and jumping off the bed.

His enthusiasm was all the invitation Greg needed as he stepped inside, Steven barreling into him, arms wrapping around him in a hug.

"I missed you today!" he pulled back, "Did you finish all your errands?"

"You mean my boring adult stuff?" Greg said with a chuckle, "Sure did." He ruffled his son's hair, "And I heard you had a busy day."

"Yeah, I was just writing in my Diary about it-Oh!" He made his way back to the bed, picking his Diary up and setting it on his nightstand. "There."

Greg smiled as he walked over, "Pearl said the garden's looking better already."

"It is! We worked really hard," Steven beamed in pride and held up his hands, "Just look at all the dirt under my fingernails!"

The older man gave an impressed whistle.

"Them's workin' hands, for sure." He said, sitting on the side of the bed.

Steven climbed back onto the covers, sitting with his legs crossed as he faced his dad. 

"I wish you could have been there too," Steven told him.

There was no accusation or sadness in the boy's voice; it was a simple truth and nothing more. Still...

"I'm sorry, Kiddo," The older man sighed, "Feels like there are not enough hours in the day, sometimes."

Steven reached out to lay his hand on Greg's arm.

"It's okay, Dad," His smile was warm and reassuring, "I know you have other stuff you gotta do some times; plus, you visit a lot more than you used to. I see you every day now! It's great!"

The words were meant to make him feel better, but Greg's heart twisted in guilt at the reminder of how seldom he'd come to see his son in the past. He used to worry so much that he would be in the way-make things worse- and so he'd always let Steven come to him. Greg had even thought that his son enjoyed the freedom and independence; Sometimes, Steven would only visit him a few times a week when he was younger. Now though, seeing the joy and excitement and surprise every time he showed up, every time he joined them all for a meal or stayed to tuck Steven in, Greg knew he'd been very wrong. 

Another mistake to add to his growing list.

Still, he didn't let it show and just smiled softly back.

"Well, I'm glad I'm here now," He said, shifting to face more towards his son, "Maybe tomorrow you can show me the garden yourself," He grinned more fully, "I could lend a hand; get a little dirt under my fingernails too. We could even sing to the plants."

Steven looked intrigued.

"Sing?"

"Heck yeah, talking and singing to plants is probably the best way to help them grow!" 

Steven gasped, eyes shining with stars.

"That wasn't in any of the books!" He said, pursing his lips, "And to think we were just watering them and giving them sunlight and plant food when we could have been singing!" Steven shook his head sadly, "What fools we were."

"Probably a good idea to keep doing those things, too," Greg admitted sheepishly.

Steven chuckled.

"So..." His dad hesitated, studying him more closely now, "You're feeling okay? I know the gems said you were pretty upset at first."

"Oh, that."

Steven blushed a little and shrugged.

"I was just sad to see all the plants and flowers in such poor shape, especially since it was supposed to be my garden," He confessed, "But I had a lot of fun after, even if some of it was hard work. I got to learn a bunch about plants and flowers, and it was nice to feel useful for once."

Greg frowned slightly at that, but Steven barreled ahead before he could comment.

"Honestly, I should probably stick more with nature from now own, since technology has forsaken me."

Greg snorted in amusement at the casual way his son delivered that line.

"I take it you haven't had much luck with the laptop?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Steven let out an exaggerated sigh as he looked over at the laptop sitting on his desk.

"I'm pretty sure future me is a mastermind, cause I've tried every password I can think of and... nada." He lamented, throwing an arm dramatically over his eyes, "Alas, poor little Steven must go forth in this world without the greatest technological advancements of his time."

Greg grinned knowingly.

"Does that mean you don't want the present I got you?" he asked.

Steven immediately pulled his arm away, eyes wide as he looked at the older man.

"You got me a present? What is it?"

Greg chuckled as he reached into his back pocket.

"A little something I picked up for you today," he admitted, pulling out a sleek black cell phone, "Thought it might come in handy since you lost your old one."

"A Phone!" Steven shouted, reaching out to take it into his hand, "I can't believe it!"

He looked down at the device in awe before peering up at his dad.

"It's really mine?" He asked.

"You bet, bud," Greg answered, "I even put mine and the gems numbers inside. Oh, and Connie's too, of course."

"I can text Connie," Steven's voice was was hushed at first but rose with excitement, "I can _call_ Connie!"

Greg laughed.

"Does that mean you like it?"

Steven launched himself forward, hugging his dad's arm.

"I love it!" He cried, forehead pressed against the side of Greg's shoulder as he squeezed with all his might, "Thank you!"

"You're welcome, Kiddo, but," Greg winced slightly, "You're sorta...crushing.. my arm."

"Oh!" steven pulled back with a small chuckle, "Sorry, dad."

"It's fine," Greg rubbed his sore limb and managed a smile, "I think some of that super-strength of yours is coming back. That or your dear old dad is really out of shape," he made a face, "Probably both."

"A phone _and_ super strength!" steven grinned, "Could today get any better?"

"Considering how late it's getting, I'm gonna say no." Greg chuckled as he stood up.

Steven was already hunched over his new phone as it turned on; wide eyes lit by the small screen. 

"Ya know, I _probably_ should have waited until morning to give that to you," His dad admitted, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, "I don't want you staying up all night."

"I won't, I promise!" Steven vowed, glancing briefly up at him and then back at the phone, "I'm just gonna send a quick text to Connie to let her know I have a phone now. Oh! Maybe even a selfie!"

Greg smiled and shook his head before leaning down. He placed a light hand on the back of Steven's head, guiding it forward so he could plant a kiss against his son's curly hair.

"Night, kiddo."

As he started to pull away, Steven surprised him by shifting onto his knees to wrap his arms around Greg's shoulders. The embrace was firm yet gentle, Steven clearly making an effort not to squeeze too tight.

"I love you, Dad."

The gratitude and affection in those words were enough to make Greg come undone. His eyes watered as he brought his arms up and around his sons back.

"I love you too, Steven." He fought to keep his voice steady, "More than anything."

The hug ended too soon for Greg's liking, but Steven's sweet smile rewarded him as he pulled back.

"Well then," He cleared his throat and discreetly wiped at an eye, "I'll see you in the morning, buddy."

"Okie Dokie!" Steven chirped, giving the man a mock salute before turning his attention down at the phone.

Greg shook his head in amusement as he left.

By the time he made it to the bottom of the stairs, the phone in his front pocket chimed. He pulled the device out and chuckled at the text message he'd received. 

**Night, Dad :p**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait. I appreciate all the comments and Kudos <3


	16. Chapter 16

* * *

  
He was alone, standing on the beach in pajamas and bare feet. The sky was pitch black, and yet the ocean appeared almost luminescent below it. Steven walked calmly to the edge of the shoreline, casting his gaze out onto the water. The waves sounded like hushed whispers as they lapped against the bank, but he couldn't make out the words. 

Even so, he was sure that something (someone?) was trying to call out to him.

"Hello?" He took a step closer, raising his voice, "Who's there?"

The next wave brushed against his feet, but instead of retreating, the water snaked up around his ankles like tentacles.

Steven cried out in alarm, falling backward on the sand as the watery appendages began tugging him forward. He tried to reach down and pry them off, but they morphed into cuffs around his ankles, held fast by liquid chains, and pulled even harder.

He kicked and grunted, struggling to find purchase in the sand, but was quickly pulled under; down into the dark depths below.

Then the world.... _tilted_ ; one moment, he was being dragged down, and then the next, he was being pulled up. He gasped as he was drawn out of the water, dangling upside down, and the cuffs around his ankles disappeared. He expected to splash back into the ocean but landed on solid ground instead.

He pushed himself to his feet, looking down at the shimmering surface below him, and noticed he was now wearing his usual t-shirt and jeans; his previously bare feet now clad in sandals.

He was also completely dry.

 _'okay..'_ Steven thought, _'That's kinda weird.'_

There was no beach in sight, but the dark sky around him was now twinkling with stars and colorful swirls like galaxies.

_'Whoa...'_

He turned around, blinking in surprise when he realized he wasn't alone.

There, several feet away, sat a gem. At least, Steven assumed she was a gem; he'd never seen a blue human before.

She had her back turned toward him; her bare feet tucked neatly under her legs, blue skirt spread out around her. Her dark blue hair was cropped short, and a blue bow was tied around her neck, the ribbons rippling in the open air. 

"Hello?" Steven called.

She gave no indication that she'd heard him, and so Steven took a few cautious steps forward, now able to see the tear-shaped blue gem on her back. His eyes widened at the three large cracks that spread out from its center.

"Your gem..." 

Steven winced in sympathy, one hand hovering over his stomach as he imagined how painful a cracked gem must feel.

"Are you okay?"

She didn't respond, and Steven reached his hand out, feeling a sudden intense concern for whoever this gem was. 

"Please, I wanna help you-"

Her form flickered like static on a Tv before disappearing, and Steven's hand grabbed at nothing but air.

"Huh..? Wait!" he looked around for her, panicked, "Don't go yet!"

The ground below him creaked, the once firm surface of the water now fracturing like glass on a mirror. Steven looked down, but it wasn't his reflection staring back; it was the blue gem. Her eyes looked like empty pools of white, blank, and unseeing; her hand stretched out towards him pleadingly.

_**"Steven.."** _

Steven's eyes opened with a gasp as he sat up in bed, heart pounding and cold sweat clinging to his body. He placed his hand over his chest, breath slowly evening out as the details of the dream faded and reality settled back in place.

_'Just a dream.'_

Steven sighed as he glanced around the dark room, familiar and yet...not.

He knew the gems were most likely downstairs, he could see the faint light from his open doorway, but he missed being able to look down over the loft and see them. 

He missed his old room.

The cookiecat alarm clock on his nightstand flashed 4:22.

Steven threw off the covers and slipped out of bed, fully dressed from the day before. It was still early, but he had no intention of going back to sleep. Besides, maybe the others would know something about the gem from his dreams.

He didn't bother putting on his sandals and started down the stairs, stopping after the first few steps when he heard hushed voices.

"-way of knowing what memories we'll trigger." 

Steven frowned, placing a hand against the wall and tilting his head to listen; Pearls voice sounded like it was coming from the kitchen.

"Isn't the whole point for him to remember?" Amethyst asked, "How else is he supposed to turn back into his older self?"

Steven looked down at the portrait against the wall, at the smiling face of his sixteen-year-old self. He'd been so excited seeing how tall he would get and how cool 'older him' looked in that pink jacket, but it was still hard to imagine that the person in that picture was him, or at least, who he was _supposed_ to be.

"..-keep avoiding it." 

Steven blinked; he'd drifted off in thought and only just caught the end of Garnet's sentence.

"Ever since he saw Little Homeworld, Steven's been more restless."

It had been several days since then, but Steven couldn't deny that Garnet was right. They'd spent the last two days fixing up the garden in the observatory, and as much as he enjoyed spending time with his family, he still couldn't rid himself of the desire to just...go, somewhere, anywhere, other than the temple and the beach. 

But...the gems hadn't mentioned leaving since...

Since Connie had handed them those pamphlets, he realized.

"I don't think it's safe," Pearl's voice confirmed his suspicions, "Not until we know more about how these.. flashbacks... manifest."

Steven's heart sank.

"He did alright in the observatory, though," Amethyst pointed out, "He even remembered going to the galaxy warp."

"He also became quite distressed over the plants," Garnet stated. 

"Yeah. So, what? He's a sensitive guy. Big deal." Amethyst sounded annoyed now, "Besides, that was totally our fault, anyway."

Steven felt grateful for Amethyst's defense, but it was apparent that she wasn't swaying the other's opinion.

"Did you see how panicked he looked every time he came near the cactus?" Pearl worried, "Or how he kept staring off at nothing? I just don't think he's ready."

Steven frowned, cheeks warming when even Amethyst couldn't refute her points. Had he really been spacing out that much?

"The observatory was a good test run." Garnet said, "Next time-"

Steven didn't hear the rest, heart pounding and tears gathering in his eyes. Was that the only reason the gems had taken him to the observatory? Had it all just been a ...test?

The image of himself holding the sea spire statue suddenly rose before him; the guilt and shame of his past failure heavy on his shoulders as he apologizes to the others. Pearl kneeling before him, voice placating-

**"-If the Spire had been crucial, we wouldn't have used it as a test for you."**

**"Test? What do you mean, "test"?"**

Steven found himself leaning more heavily upon the hand he'd placed against the wall, legs suddenly weak. With a slow, deliberate breath, he carefully guided himself down to sit on the steps outside his doorway as the rest of the memory unfolded.

Pearl nervously backpaddling, **"Well, it wasn't really a "test," per se. Not in the traditional sense. We just wanted to see if you were ready to go on missions."**

Garnet's steady voice, **"Steven, it wasn't something we planned behind your back. We just saw an opportunity and.."**

His own dismayed gasp, **"And I failed it... I failed the test."**

Then the memories sped up: asking/begging for another test, another chance to prove himself. Standing before the temple gate as Pearl explains, **"-just beyond here are three chambers designed by each of us to simulate the challenges of a mission."**

Running away from an approaching boulder, leaping off a ramp, and swinging across on a vine to safety. Music and glowing tiles revealing a staircase with swinging pendulum blades. A lava pit, a narrow bridge, a wall of fire shooting between every crack.

Steven pressed his forehead against his knees and gritted his teeth as the memories came even faster, filtering through at such a dizzying pace that he felt his stomach churn.

Fire shooting up from the ground, but going around him...The pendulum passing through him, not even tangible...the sequence of glowing tiles inconsequential...the boulder stopping just short of touching him, and retreating as he confronts it and- **"Everything's riiiiigged!"**

Steven hung his head and forced himself to breathe- in for 4, out for 8, just like the pamphlet said. He repeated this a few more times until the room felt like it had stopped spinning, and the pain in his skull receded to a dull ache.

Steven frowned and rubbed his forehead with one hand, blinking his eyes open as the memories- and his stomach- settled into place, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth.

The gems had tested him, lied to him, and from what little he heard of their conversation downstairs, they were doing it _again_. 

Hurt and frustration propelled him to his feet, but the abrupt movement caused another wave of dizzyness to assault him, and his knees buckled.

Steven swung his arm out in an attempt to catch himself against the wall but missed, and with a small cry, he fell down the first half of stairs and landed unceremoniously on his stomach, arms pinned beneath him and his chin smacking against the floor. 

The combined shouts from the gems drowned out his pained groan, and Steven could hear their hurried footsteps as he began pushing himself up from the ground.

"Steven!"

Pearl reached him first, crouching just at the top of the first set of stairs. Her delicate hand on his shoulder as she helped guide him back into a more seated position.

"Are you hurt?" Her worried blue eyes looked him up and down for signs of injury. "What on Earth happened?"

The frustration and hurt that had spurred him to his feet were still there, but the embarrassment of his fall, and Pearls concerned gaze, had shaken his confidence.

"I'm- I just- I was-"

Half-formed thoughts were tumbling from his mouth, but when Pearl's other hand reached out to touch his cheek, Steven immediately pulled away.

"Don't." 

The startled and wounded look on Pearl's face sent a jolt of guilt through him, but her concern and gentle touch were too much for him to handle right now. He pulled his legs up and wrapped his arms around his knees, protectively; he wanted to cry, and he hated it.

"Steven..." Pearl's forehead creased with worry, but she made no move to touch him again.

"Is this one of those flashback thingies?" Amethyst asked, darting an anxious look up at Garnet.

Steven shook his head.

"It's not a flashback," he muttered sullenly, turning his gaze off to the side as he hugged his legs even tighter, "I'm fine."

"Dude, you just face planted on the stairs," Amethyst pointed out incredulously, "And you look like your gonna throw up or something; that is not _fine_."

"Steven," Garnet was already kneeling halfway up the stairs, but she ducked her head as if trying to catch his gaze, "Please talk to us."

Steven looked up at their worried faces and then back down at his knees; his chest felt tight.

"It's..it's not fair." 

Although the statement confused them, their gazes were patient and attentive, and it made him feel brave enough to finally voice his grievances.

"You guys promised you'd start taking me to places and, and letting me meet people but," he shook his head, heat rising to his face as his vision blurred with tears, "I heard you. You don't think I can handle it, and you used the trip to the observatory to test me, just like the thing with the sea spire statue!" his voice rose louder, "And that test inside the temple, with all those fake obstacle courses!"

"Wait. What?!" Amethyst exclaimed.

"It's not fair!" He repeated, words pouring out of him in a heated rush, "It's not my fault I can't remember, or that I get flashbacks, and you promised! You can't just, just keep me trapped here!"

The image of the blue gem from his dream sprang forward, her expression fierce and angry.

**"I'm Lapis Lazuli, and you can't keep me trapped here anymore!"**

****

Steven gasped, instinctively jerking back against the wall.

"Steven!"

**"They're not going to let us leave."**

**Steven turns his attention back toward the blue gem, confused and frightened by the turn of events.**

**"Leave?"**

**She raises her hand, effortlessly parting the ocean to create a path forward before she speaks.**

**"Steven, come with me."**

**His heart pounds loud in his chest, eyes wide and uncertain.**

**"Where?"**

**Her expression softens, and when she answers, her voice is wistful.**

**"Home."**

Pearl's low calming voice filtered through as the memory faded, and Steven could finally focus on what was happening in the present. Pearl was on her knees before him, palms facing outward and eyebrows drawn together in obvious concern.

The memory had brought back the ache in Steven's head, and his heart was still beating a little too fast, but he could feel his breathing start to regulate as he listened to Pearl's steady reassurances.

"You're home, and you're safe," she promised, "We're right here. It's okay."

Steven threw himself forward, wrapping his arms around Pearl's middle and crying softly. The previous hurt and anger he'd felt seemed inconsequential now. His head ached, and his stomach felt queasy again, and he just wanted to curl up against Pearl and not think about anything.

Pearl immediately wrapped her arms around the boy, pulling him further into her lap as he softly wept into her shirt, his shaky hands now loosely gripping the edges of her jacket. 

"M'sorry," He mumbled, sniffling. 

Pearl gently shushed him, telling him he had nothing to be sorry for, running her fingers through his curls affectionately. He wanted to respond, but the words kept slipping away, his mind filled with static. He had never had so many flashbacks and memories occur in such a short period, and it had taken its toll. 

Pearl seemed to understand.

"We can talk later," she promised, fingers still carding through his hair, "Just rest for now."

Steven let out a shaky sigh as he closed his eyes and turned his head to lay against her chest. The longer they stayed there together, the quieter his head became, until the tension in his body eased, leaving him soft and relaxed.

After several long moments of silence, Pearl softly announced that he was asleep.

"Okay, now _that_ ,' Amethyst pointed out morosely, "was definitely a flashback."

"We should move him to the couch," Garnet suggested.

Pearl nodded and stood, effortlessly holding the boy against her. Steven didn't stir at the movement, his arms limp at his sides, and his breathing soft and even.

It was a slow and silent process as they settled on the couch. Pearl sat with her back against the corner, shifting Steven's head to her lap, her arm over his shoulders. Garnet got a blanket from the closet and draped it over the sleeping boy before sitting by his feet, laying one of her hands against his lower back. Amethyst perched herself on the table, cross-legged and staring worriedly.

After some time, she finally spoke.

"Did you hear what he said?" She asked, "About the test we gave him in the temple?" 

Garnet looked off to the side, and Pearl flinched.

"He knew it was rigged." Amethyst stated, sounding lost, "He knew the whole time, but he acted like he didn't. I don't get it."

"He was trying to make us feel better." Garnet answered, one hand slipping under her visor as if to wipe away a tear, "I didn't see it at the time."

"We didn't want to see it." Pearl lamented, staring down at Stevens calm face, "We wanted so badly to build his confidence, but he ended up building ours instead."

"But that's not fair," Amethyst protested, frowning, "He was just a kid; it wasn't his job to make us feel better."

"No, it wasn't." Garnet agreed, "Unfortunately, it's the role Steven played more often than not."

"And we allowed it," Pearl tearfully added, moving to brush some loose curls behind the boy's ear, "Oh, Steven."

Amethyst groaned in defeat.

"We messed up then, and we're messing up _now_ too," She declared, slouching in on herself, "Steven was right; it's not his fault he can't remember, and it's not fair to keep him trapped here."

"I never intended to keep him here indefinitely," Pearl tried to explain, "I was just so afraid that we'd take him somewhere that would trigger a bad memory, and I-" she stopped herself, pinching the bridge of her nose in sudden realization, " I let my own feelings get in the way. Again."

"I've been overly cautious as well," Garnet revealed, "These flashbacks are beyond my ability to predict, and facing an unknown future made me uneasy."

"Hey, I get it; we're all scared," Amethyst said, "But so is Steven." She looked at each of them in turn, "He needs to know that we have his back."

"At least you always do," Pearl smiled slightly at the purple gem, "You tried to convince us."

"We should have listened." Garnet stated, smiling some herself, "You are the most mature Crystal Gem, after all."

"Ugh, shut up, you guys." Amethyst blushed, glaring down at the ground. "So, do you know when he'll wake back up, or.."

"He'll sleep for several hours at least, " Garnet replied, "Plenty of time for us to decide where his first trip out will be." she touched her visor, "Hm, Interesting."

The other two looked at her questioningly.

"It looks like we'll be getting another visitor as well."

"Visitor?" Pearl questioned.

Just then Steven stirred, turning onto his back and mumbling under his breath, "Lapis...laz..li..." before settling back down, mouth open and snoring softly.

Amethyst smirked.

Pearl looked apprehensive.

Garnet adjusted her visor again.

"This could go any number of ways."

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a rough month :p


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.....This is just me basically saying 'I'm not dead, and I haven't given up on this story' . Things have been rough lately and I haven't been in the best mental state (wont go into the boring details) but I'm getting back to myself slowly. I allowed a previous comment to catch me on a particularly bad day and overreacted, but I have not quit. So here's a little something to my wonderful readers for your patience.

* * *

Steven woke to the feel of a sandpaper tongue licking his face and the weight of a furry paw on his chest.

"Ugh, Lion," He groaned as he blindly pushed against the large feline's muzzle, "Knock it off, you overgrown kitten."

The weight on his chest lifted as Lion pulled back, and Steven pushed himself up in a seated position. His head ached faintly, and the room around him spun, but after a moment, the blurry outline of the living room came into focus. 

Steven frowned, having expected to wake up in his bed, in his _room_. 

When had he...

"Yo! Look who's finally up!"

He gazed up at the sound of Amethyst's voice, seeing all three gems making their way towards him, Pearl brushing quickly past Lion to kneel before the couch.

"Good morning, Steven," She clasped her hands in front of her chest, her smile nervous, "How are you feeling?"

Steven tilted his head; brow wrinkled.

"Um...Confused?" he answered honestly, looking around, "how'd I get on the couch?"

They looked startled by the question, Amethyst immediately stepping forward.

"Dude, don't you remember faceplanting on the stairs earlier? Or totally calling us out on our crap? And then having one of those flashback things and freaking out and- mmph!"

Garnet had reached over to cover Amthysts mouth with her hand, but the words had already been enough to make Steven's eyes go wide as the previous events caught up to him. 

"Steven?"

Pearls gentle hands were on his shoulders, and guilt churned in his stomach as he remembered pulling away from her touch before.

He ducked his head, too ashamed to look any of them in the eyes.

"I...I'm sorry."

Pearl's palms moved from his shoulders and came to settle over his fidgeting hands, her soothing touch making him go still.

"Steven." Her voice was soft but firm, "You have nothing to apologize for."

He recognized Pearls' words from before, back when he'd been too tired to respond. Now though, he looked up guiltily.

"But I- I got mad and-" He glanced back at Garnet and Amethyst, "I yelled at you guys."

Amethyst scoffed, waving a hand dismissively in the air.

"You call that yelling? Dude, that was nothing." Her expression softened, becoming more serious, "Besides, we want you to tell us when you're upset, remember?" she grinned ruefully, "Even if it's because of us."

Steven felt some of the tension in his shoulders subside, recalling the first day he'd been turned back into a kid; how they'd said those very words to him then.

"You had every right to be upset with us," Garnet took a step forward, lowering herself to her knees beside Pearl in front of the couch, "We made you a promise, and we broke your trust."

Steven recalled those hurtful feelings; his expression pained as he realized they were still there, under the surface.

"It's just that..," he hesitated, considering dropping the matter entirely, only... 

Amethyst had just said they wanted him to tell them if he was upset, didn't she?

They wanted him to be honest.

Even if...

Pearl's touch shifted as she curled her hands more securely around his, a silent show of support.

Before he realized it, he was speaking again.

"When I remembered the test in the temple and..and then that trip to the observatory," He swallowed down the sudden swell of emotions climbing up his throat, "I thought- it felt like you'd tricked me again." Steven's voice dropped lower, brows furrowing, "Like you didn't believe in me."

The distressed expressions on the gem's faces finally made him look away, his resolve vanishing as quickly as it had emerged, crumbling like leaves and carried off by the wind.

He hadn't meant to hurt their feeling; he didn't _want_ to hurt their feelings. Why did he have to open his big mouth?

He felt the tears gathering in his eyes as he stared down at Pearl's soft pale hands, still laying over top of his own.

Then Garnet's hands came into view as she placed them on top of Pearls. 

And then Amethyst hands joined the pile as well, adding to the weight and warmth. 

Steven raised his head again, eyes focusing on all three gems kneeling in front of him now.

"Steven," Garnets accented voice was as steady as always, "It was never our intention to trick you; not then, and certainly not now." 

Steven frowned as he recalled similar words from his memory of finding the sea spire statue.

"However," Garnet continued, capturing Steven's attention once again, "Despite our good intentions, we hurt you," her tone lowered with remorse, "And for that...we are truly sorry."

Steven stared, surprised.

"We shouldn't have allowed our feelings to cloud our judgment, "Pearl continued, her voice calm despite the misty look in her eyes, "We should have had more faith in you."

"Yeah, what they said," Amethyst interjected, tone sincere, "We messed up, man."

Steven blinked, mouth slack as he looked down at their stacked hands and then back up at the gems.

Whatever he'd been expecting, it had certainly not been this.

This...

_**"This is just what I needed."** _

Those words echoed in his memory without context, but they felt truer now than ever.

Steven smiled, eyes glistening.

"Can..can we hug now?" He asked, chuckling, "My hands are getting kinda sweaty." 

Pearl let out a relieved sigh as she agreed with his words, Amethyst laughed, and Garnet smiled.

In the next moment, Steven was surrounded by their arms, grateful and content.

* * *


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy almost new year! GAAAH THIS YEAR!! You guys...I'm exhausted lol.

Steven loved hugs, had always loved hugs- both giving and receiving- but as the implications of the gem's words settled in, he found himself pulling back.

"Wait, so," He looked up at them with hopeful eyes, "Does this mean..?"

He trailed off, not sure if it were too bold of an assumption to consider that their apologies meant they would finally be taking him somewhere away from the beach house. 

But then Pearl was smiling at him, and so were Amethyst and Garnet, and he _knew_ , he knew they meant to keep their promise to him.

"Why don't you get ready for the day while I make you something to eat," Pearl suggested, still grinning, "We can discuss our plans over breakfast."

Garnet stood back up, adding, "Among other things." 

"Dibs on making the toast!" Amethyst proclaimed, jumping up, "I got mad toast making skills, Y'all!"

Pearl rolled her eyes, gracefully rising to her feet, and Steven beamed as he hopped off the couch. 

Glancing out the windows at the bright sky, he curiously asked what time it was, surprised when Garnet informed him that it was already half-past ten. His dad had even been there already. After being caught up on the events of earlier that morning, however, he had decided to give the gems a chance to talk with Steven alone and would be back later.

Steven gasped when he realized he'd missed his good morning text from Connie and rushed up the stairs to retrieve his phone. He didn't want Connie to worry if he hadn't responded, at least before what she called the 'third' period.

Sure enough, he had two messages on his phone, both from his best friend. The first was **'Good Morning!** ' followed by a smiley face; the second, having been sent nearly 20 minutes ago said, **'Someone's sleeping in today** ,' followed by a silly face.

Steven grinned, messaging back **'Morning, Connie! I got a late start. Tell you all about it later. Hope you have an amazing day!** ', he added a few extra exclamation points and smiley faces before hitting send.

Steven then changed into some fresh clothes and slipped on his sandals before making his way back down the stairs. His mouth watered at the smell of scrambled eggs and bacon.

"Oh man, that smells amazing," he stood on his tiptoes on the other side of the kitchen table, trying to look over Pearls' shoulders, "I'm so hungry, I could eat a whole cow!"

Amethyst took the opportunity to shapeshift into said animal and huff out a 'How, rude!" in mock indignation.

Steven laughed while Pearl shooed Amethyst away from the stove, assuring Steven that Breakfast would be ready shortly.

Garnet came up beside him and laid a hand on top of his head.

"Go get washed up, and a plate will be waiting when you return." 

Steven put on a stern face and saluted, "Aye, Aye, Captain!" 

He made his way to the bathroom, using the toilet and then standing on top of a small stool to reach the sink. He washed his hands and then his face, water still running as he blindly grabbed for the towel to dry off.

Steven grinned up at his reflection.

"Looking good, Universe."

The sound of the running water from the sink grew louder in his ears, and he felt the smile slip from his face as he slowly reached out to touch the surface of the mirror.

For a split second, Steven's reflection was replaced with the gem from his dreams, the same blank white eyes staring back at him like before, hand reaching out toward him.

_**"Steven.."** _

"Lapis," he whispered the name under his breath, eyes going round as he recalled not just his dream that night, but the memory on the stairs, "Lapis Lazuli!"

With a sudden sense of urgency, he turned the water off and came barreling out of the bathroom.

"Guys! Guys!" 

Pearl had just been setting down his plate and startled as he came running up to the table.

"Steven, what's wrong?"

"Yeah, where's the fire?" Amethyst asked, standing on one of the chairs in front of a ridiculously high stack of toast.

"I forget to tell you something super important!" Steven continued, fists clench in front of his chest in anticipation, "Someone I remembered."

"Lapis Lazuli."

Steven turned his head sharply in the direction of Garnets voice. She was already seated, hands clasped neatly and calmly on the table.

"Yeah! How'd you-" Steven paused, crossing his arms and lifting one eyebrow, "Is this that thing you won't tell me about again?"

Garnet gave the smallest smile.

"Actually, You talk in your sleep."

"Oh," Steven blushed and Amethyst let out an amused snort.

Pearl took a seat across the table and gestured to the plate of food she'd made.

"Why don't you have a seat and tell us what you remembered," she suggested, adding hastily, "or what you're comfortable sharing with us, I mean."

Steven pulled himself onto the chair, feet dangling.

"Okay, so, first off-"

"Don't forget to eat," Pearl chided, then blushed at her interruption, "Sorry."

Steven chuckled, taking a few hasty bites of eggs and a drink of milk before starting again.

"So the reason I was up so early this morning is cause I had this weird dream."

"Like a dream dream?" Amethyst asked, handing him a piece of toast, "Or like a memory type dream?"

"I think...maybe both?" Steven answered, a thoughtful expression on his face as he took a few bites.

"The blue gem-Lapis," he corrected, "She was there. She-" 

He paused as he recalled the deep cracks that had marred the surface of her gem. His stomach churned, and he slowly set his half-eaten slice of toast down, frowning at the rest of the food on his plate.

"Steven..?"

He looked up at Pearl, his eyebrows drawn together in concern.

"Is she okay?" he asked, his voice small and anxious, "Her gem was cracked real bad."

Almost instinctively, he curled forward, wrapping his arms around his stomach.

"Hey, guy," Amethyst reached a hand out to touch his shoulder, her voice softer than usual, "Lapis is fine."

"Really?" Steven asked, uncurling some, "But-"

"You healed all the damage done to her gem," Garnet informed him.

"I did?" Steven blinked, eyes widening, "You mean, like how I healed Connie's eyesight?"

"Exactly." Pearl replied, "She's good as new."

Steven let out a relieved sigh, relaxing back into his chair, resting his hands on his lap.

Although Steven knew he'd be concerned for anyone's wellbeing given those circumstances, the relief he felt knowing this gem- this Lapis Lazuli- was alright seemed.. different, more profound.

"So..." Amethyst drew out the word, stuffing several pieces of toast in her mouth and continuing, "Wha' elths d'ya mmemb?"

"Ugh, Amethyst," Pearl curled her nose in disgust, "Don't talk with your mouth full."

Garnet gestured out with her hand, "Continue whenever you're ready, Steven."

"Okay, well, the other thing I remembered was when I was on the stairs."

He frowned as he replayed the memory again in his head. 

"She was really angry," he glanced between the three gems seated at the table, "She said you guys- she said you couldn't keep her trapped here anymore?"

Pearl winced, Amethyst rubbed the back of her neck a she looked away, and Garnet frowned. They didn't say anything, so Steven continued.

"Then I remember she wanted me to leave with her. To go home." Steven's brows knitted together in consideration, "I guess she meant Homeworld, but I...I just remember being scared and confused."

He shrugged, looking down at his plate in thought. 

Lapis had been angry in the memory, but it was more than that; she was hurt, scared, ... sad.

The image of her- hands curled around her shoulders, head bowed in defeat- came into his mind.

How deeply she sighed, her voice filled with longing.

_**"I just...want to go home."** _

Steven blinked, feeling tears dampen the corner of his eyes as he lifted his head.

"Can you tell me about her?" he asked, gaze darting between the gems desperately, "Please?"

Steven felt his hands clenching over the fabric of his jeans.

"I know you're supposed to be careful what you tell me, but it feels like-" He scrambled to think of a way to explain himself, shaking his head, "I know her. I _know_ I know her, and-and it's important! _She's_ important! but I can't-" he brought his arms up, pressing the heels of his palms to either side of his head in frustration, "I can't remember!"

"Steven."

He gasped, eyes flying open, and the static that had started to buzz in his head disappeared. He wasn't sure which of them had said his name, only that they all looked worried.

Steven brought his hands back to his lap, blushing, thoroughly embarrassed at how worked up he'd allowed himself to get. 

He opened his mouth to reassure them that he was okay, to apologize, to say anything that would get them all to stop looking at him like he was going to fall apart, but nothing came out. Instead, he fixed his gaze on the table and wished he could just disappear or-

"We'll tell you what we can."

Steven's head jerked up to stare at Pearl, the shock of her words erasing the heat from his face and the tension in his shoulders; the room no longer felt like it was shrinking around him. 

"You ...will?"

Garnet spoke up.

"We discussed a great deal while you were sleeping," she began, "We think it might have been a mistake to not tell you about your history with Bismuth before you met her."

"We were trying to avoid bringing up anything upsetting," Pearl said, "But perhaps if we'd told you..."

"You'd have been more prepared to handle the memories when they did surface." Garnet finished.

"So buckle up, dude," Amethyst warned, grinning, "Cause your about to get the vague cliff notes version of a very complicated story."

Steven nodded, scooting his chair closer to the table, looking up at the gems with wide eyes.

"You're really gonna tell me about her?"

Garnet reached over to pick up his abandoned fork, offering it to him.

"You eat. We talk."

In response, Steven accepted the offered utensil and took a big bite of eggs.

* * *

  
As the story unfolded, Pearl had to remind him several times to keep eating. Steven had been so hungry before, but his only interest now was in knowing more about Lapis, and as they spoke, he found himself almost..remembering. Bits and pieces, images too real to be conjured from just imagination, sometimes words that had been said, or feelings he recalled having; everything too quick and fleeting to draw him in fully.

_**Laughing, "You're pretty funny for a mirror."** _

_**His hand struggling to grasp the gem, trying to free it.** _

_**Feeling guilty. Responsible.** _

_**Yelling, "I don't wanna fight!"** _

_**The brief image of Lapis turning toward him, a smile on her lips (she looks so different when she smiles) and her blue eyes (blue?) shining.** _

_**"Steven...Thank you!"** _

"Steven?"

He blinked, looking up at Pearl, brow furrowing as he considered everything he'd just heard.

"So she was trapped in a mirror for thousands of years," He began, "But then I let her out. Only she was really mad at you guys cause she thought you'd trapped her on purpose, but you hadn't, and so she tried to fight you." 

Steven folded his arms across his chest as he leaned back in his chair, tilting his head up to stare at the ceiling.

"Then later Lapis stole the entire ocean, so we had to find her, but we ended up fighting again," he frowned, "Only then I talked to her and healed her gem, and she just...went home?"

He looked back at the three gems, tilting his head.

"Is that right?"

Pearl stammered, "Well...yes."

Amethyst laughed, gesturing towards him, "Look at this guy here; Giving us the cliff notes to our cliff notes."

Steven chuckled before becoming quiet again, brow creasing in thought.

It was easy to tell from the story, and what little memories had surfaced, that Earth Had not been a place that Lapis was fond of. Regardless, the idea that Lapis had left and never returned...that he'd never seen her again after that, just didn't feel right.

"Did she.." He paused, frowning, "Did she ever come back?" 

"Oh, yes!" Pearl answered immediately, "In fact, it wasn't long before she returned with-" she stopped just short of finishing, looking suddenly nervous, "well, that is-" 

Pearl bit her lower lip, looking over at Garnet for guidance. Steven had noticed the gems doing this several times during their story.

"She assisted us in many important battles," Garnet continued, "She became an ally and eventually even a Crystal Gem."

"So then," Steven smiled, pleased, "We really are friends?"

"Yes, of course!" Pearl smiled, "The two of you have always had a unique bond." 

Amethyst scoffed in amusement.

"Yeah, for a while, you were the only one of us she even liked," she chuckled, "And you're definitely still her favorite."

Stevens smile grew, and he leaned forward, eager.

"Is she still on Earth? Does she live in Little Homeworld like Bismuth? Can I-" He paused before continuing in a softer, almost shy tone, "Can I meet her?"

Pearl smiled, "I think she'd like that."

Filled to the brim with excitement, Steven pulled himself to stand on the chair, throwing his arms up in the air.

"Whoo hoo!" He cheered, "You guys are the best!"

A familiar chuckle sounded from the doorway, and Steven turned to find his dad already walking towards them. He'd been so distracted that he hadn't even heard the door open.

"Hey, kiddo, sounds like-whoa!" His words cut off as Steven launched himself from the chair into his dad's arms as soon as the man was close enough.

"Dad!" He cried happily and Greg laughed as he hugged him.

"I'd ask how you're feeling since this morning, but I think you've already answered that," the man admitted, continuing to hold Steven even as he pulled back, "I take it the gems told you about the trip then, huh."

The grin on Steven's face faltered in confusion, "Trip?"

Greg's eyes widened as he looked back at the gems, and Steven twisted to look at them as well.

"Your timing is...a bit off," Garnet confessed.

Steven had already squirmed to be let down and was turning to face the gems.

"Are we really going on a trip?" he asked.

Pearl stood from her seat, still with that same gentle smile.

"It was something else we'd discussed this morning," she admitted, "Along with Greg."

"Way to spoil the surprise, daddy-o," Amethyst chided, to which Greg sheepishly apologized.

Steven wasn't bothered in the slightest, stepping up to the side of the table next to Garnet.

"Where are we going?" he asked, stretching up on his toes excitedly, "Can you tell me? Please?"

Garnet let out a low chuckle before replying, "It's called The Sky Arena." 

"Whoooa," Steven breathed, eyes round in wonder, "I have no idea what that is, but it sounds amazing."

Amethyst snorted from her place across the table as Pearl walked around to kneel next to the boy.

"It's a special place we'd go to train and hone our skills for battle," she informed him.

She turned her head, the gem on her forehead glowing and then projecting an image outwards of what looked like a floating island with a coliseum.

"You may recall it from the memory of you and Connie training," Pearl continued, smiling at the awed expression on Steven's face as he gazed at the hologram.

"Oh! Is that where we were?" Steven questioned, looking back at Pearl as the projection vanished, " I didn't really notice much about it before," Steven admitted laughing, "I think I was more focused on those holograms of you we were fighting."

"Ah, man, you're gonna love it!" Amethyst announced, jumping up on the table, "One time, you and me totally almost destroyed the place!"

"You and I," Pearl corrected as she stood.

"Hey! you weren't even there!" Amethyst countered.

"That's not what I-" Pearl noticed the teasing grin on Amethyst's face and huffed, "Oh hush."

Steven laughed.

"So when can we go?" he asked, bouncing on his feet again, "Soon, right? Pretty please with sprinkles on top?"

"Well..," Garnet began slowly, "We could go today." 

Steven gasped in excitement.

" _Or_ ," She continued, "We could have Lapis over to visit."

Steven felt another gasp escape him, eyebrows raising.

Amethyst dropped down to sit on the edge of the table, leaning back on her hands, asking the question that Steven was too stunned to get out.

"Yeah, okay, but which one?" 

Steven was startled when he felt a broad hand land on his shoulder, turning his head to look up at his dad, who was now standing behind him.

"I think Steven should decide," Greg smiled down at him.

"R-really?" Steven gaped.

"I agree," Garnet added.

Steven looked from her to Pearl, who nodded, and then to Amethyst, who cheered, 'here, here!'

He wasn't used to being the one in charge, and yet there was something strangely familiar in the way the gems were looking at him now. 

"So, what'll it be, guy?" 

Amethyst's question brought him out of his momentary stupor.

"Oh! Um..."

"Remember, Steven," Garnet told him gently, "Even if you decide to go to the sky Arena today, you can still see Lapis tomorrow, or vise versa."

Steven nodded faintly, crossing his arms as he looked at the floor and considered his options. 

It felt like a lifetime since he'd left the beach house. The brief time he'd spent at Little Homeworld almost felt like a dream, and it had only sparked his desire to get out and explore even more. Wanting to visit different places had been the very reason he'd been so upset with the gems earlier that morning. 

But Lapis...

He brought up the image from earlier of her smiling back at him, her blue eyes filled with gratitude. Her voice was far kinder and more gentle than all the former memories he'd had of her. 

Lapis was his friend. 

Somehow even in his dream, even in the flashbacks, Steven had known that he cared about her. 

So really....it was no choice at all.

He brought his gaze back up to Garnet and nodded resolutely.

"Lapis."

She smiled in return.

"I thought you might say that."

* * *

(Authors note: I did not mean to get so carried away, and honestly this felt like a solid chapter ending, but I could not make you wait for Lapis any longer.)

* * *

Steven lay flat on his back on the floor, arms and legs out to either side as he let out an exaggerated groan. 

"What's taking them so long?" He tilted his head back to stare upside down at the warp pad, "They've been gone for hours!"

"Steven...It's only been 20 minutes," His dad chided from his spot on the couch, chuckling when Steven groaned again in response.

"Are you sure?" The boy asked, turning over on his stomach and propping his chin up on one hand as he continued to stare, "It feels way longer than that. At least an hour."

"The gems are probably just explaining a few things to Lapis first," Greg reasoned, "Why don't you come over here and sit with your old man for a bit?"

Steven sighed as he pushed himself up off the floor, making his way over to flop down next to his dad on the couch. Even then, he turned his head to look through the entrance to the temple. 

"I hope they get here soon," he admitted in a quiet tone, fiddling with a loose thread at the bottom of his shirt.

Greg noticed the sudden shift in his son's mood and leaned over to gently nudge his shoulder.

"You okay, bud?"

Steven glanced between him and the warp pad and sighed.

Instead of answering, he asked, "Have you ever met Lapis before?"

Greg blinked in surprise, "Oh, Uh, yeah," He recovered with a smile, "A bunch of times actually," he chuckled, adding, "Heck, the three of us even went fishing together once."

Steven's eyes lit up in surprise as he sat up straighter.

"Really?" He grinned, clearly interested, "Did we catch anything?"

His dad chuckled nervously.

"Uh...well, not exactly," He replied, admitting sheepishly, "We actually ended up sinking the boat."

"What?" Steven snorted in disbelief, giggling in amusement as Greg ruffled his hair.

"Well, I'm glad _you're_ laughing; that thing cost me a pretty penny," He joked, "Not to mention the two of you played with that horn so much I thought I'd permanently lost hearing in one of my ears."

Steven offered a light-hearted apology amidst his giggles, and Greg smiled.

"No need to be sorry, bud. It was a good day, even with a few mishaps."

Steven's smile faded as he looked down at his lap, brows furrowing.

"I wish I could remember it."

Greg's expression softened as he brought an arm around the boy's shoulder.

"Hey..you will, Kiddo, " He said, "You just gotta give it some time."

Steven looked up at his dad with a halfhearted smile. 

"Yeah, I guess so," he turned his head towards the warp pad again.

"This feels different than when I met Bismuth," he confessed after a few moments.

Greg looked over at him curiously.

"How so?"

"I guess cause I hadn't remembered anything about Bismuth before I met her. Plus, the gems hadn't told me much either," Steven explained, shrugging, "So it really felt like I was meeting someone new. Someone I didn't know. And she was a gem! So, I was excited. But with Lapis..." Steven hesitated, "I guess I don't really know her much either," he admitted quietly, "Just bits and pieces and the stuff the gems told me, but... she doesn't feel like a stranger either, ya know?"

"Sounds pretty complicated," Greg admitted sympathetically, "I guess that would give you some mixed feelings about seeing her again."

Steven looked up at him with an earnest expression.

"But I _want_ to see her again! I really do!" he insisted, "Even though I don't remember much, I know that I care about her. It's just-" Steven's expression twisted slightly, "What if I mess it up? What if she's expecting someone different? What if I'm not-"

"Whoa, Steven, hey," Greg pulled him closer to his side, his voice gentle, "You're not gonna mess anything up, kiddo. Lapis cares about you too, and I'm sure she's happy to come see you, just the way you are."

Steven leaned into the embrace, happy to accept the comfort even though he was still distressed.

"But I've probably forgotten a million important things about her," He lamented, "And about our friendship too."

"Well...you said you remembered that you cared about Lapis, right?" Greg asked, looking down at his son.

Steven tilted his head up to meet his father's gaze and nodded.

Greg smiled kindly back.

"That sounds like a pretty important thing to me."

Steven blinked.

"Yeah, I...I guess it is," He admitted, a smile slowly forming on his face.

He leaned into his father's side, content once again.

"Thanks, dad."

Greg chuckled, "Anytime, son."

"Hey, dad?" Steven asked after a few quiet moments together.

"Yeah?"

"How'd you end up paying for a boat?"

Greg laughed, about to answer when a flash of light emitted from inside the temple, the warp pad chiming its familiar tune.

Steven gasped, immediately jumping off the couch to race inside the temple just as the light faded.

Four gems stood on the platform, and Steven froze as his eyes landed on Lapis. 

The blue gem lifted her head, her eyes going wide as she spotted him, mouth forming his name although no sound came out.

Ignoring the calls of the other gems, Lapis hurried down the warp pad and came striding toward him, stopping just a few feet shy of touching him.

Steven blinked, noticing the small changes in her appearance; wide pants with a gold sash, gold sandals on her feet, her blue hair slightly longer and less wild than before.

For several moments neither of them said a word.

Then Lapis offered up the faintest of smiles.

"Hey."

Steven wasn't sure why the simple greeting filled him with so much joy, but he was suddenly beaming with renewed confidence as he darted forward.

"You're here!" he laughed as he looked up at her, speaking loud and fast, "Your eyes are so blue! And your outfit makes you like a Genie! Is your gem really okay now? The gems said it was, but I was worried that-"

His excited rambling cut off as Lapis suddenly bent down to throw her arms around his shoulders, pulling him into a hug.

Steven blinked, his shock fading to concern when he felt her shudder against him.

"Lapis?" He brought a hand up to touch her arm; brow wrinkled in concern, "Are you alright?"

She chuckled as if his question were amusing.

"I'm much better now," She answered.

Steven smiled softly as he leaned into the familiar embrace.

"Yeah, me too."

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like every chapter should end with a hug now. I look forward to reading everyone's comments, they have really brightened this year up for me.


End file.
